Just thought I'd add... when I was growing up, my parents went through some rocky times and they very nearly divorced when I was around 10 or 11 years old (I didn't find out until several years later, and I found out by accident). My dad had the papers drawn up by his lawyer and everything. I actually know the lawyer by name and met him several times. I just thought it was because he and my dad were friends. Later I found out he was going to represent my dad in the divorce.

However, the divorce never happened. I grew up, finished high school, and went off to college. When I was home for spring break my freshman year, my parents told me over dinner that they were getting a divorce.

I don't know for sure, but I suspect that the reason my parents stayed together until I was in college is because they wanted me to grow up in a home with two parents. In hindsight, I realize how miserable my dad was all those years ago. He had trouble sleeping, he acted withdrawn from family functions like Thanksgiving and Christmas, and he started drinking more (but hid it well... I never noticed him acting drunk, but the front of his golf cart was stuffed full of Crown Royal bags and it didn't occur to me until I was much older how much he was really drinking). He was on pills that my parents told me were for insomnia, but years later I suspected they were for anxiety and depression.

I don't know if my parents reconciled and the next 8 years were better for them, or if they just agreed to stick together until I graduated purely for my sake. I really don't know and I don't think I'll ever ask. What I believe is that my parents considered what would be best for me, and they did it. I'm really grateful for that, because I can't imagine having to deal with my parents divorcing. I'm glad I didn't.

So I guess my point is that since you have a child, you should do everything you can to make it work with your wife, at least until your child is older. Exhaust every option you have before you end it. It's definitely worth a shot, especially for your daughter. She doesn't know it, but it will mean the world to her if you can stay together.

IMO there's a point when divorce becomes necessary and inescapable, but I think it's important to try everything else first.

This post was edited on 3/8/14 at 1:51 pm