re: OT: Anyone ever been through a divorce here?

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wmr - Love ya

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I don't believe you.

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Absolutely not true, and I'm even in a community property state. 99% of the time, the woman's income is cut tremendously, even in cases where there is child support and permanent spousal support, which is extremely difficult to get because the burden of proof is so high on the one seeking it.

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I am speaking from the perspective of a decent earner and one who has saved and planned. For a man like myself (and most of those I associate with IRL), "cash and prizes" to the woman is a pretty accurate description of how it looks from this side.

You sound like a decent person, so I don't discount what you went through and that you had good reasons for needing out. And many do. There should be more subtlety in family if nothing else, because I view there to exist a default position among the majority of judgments wherein otherwise comfortable women can abuse their status as female vindictively to "ruin" the man or at least remain a thorn in his arse for a decade or more afterward.

This is typical in instances where a man earns enough to support a stay at home (ostensibly) mother who otherwise would be gainfully employed.