re: Today We Are All Okies

quote:

---

I can't stand the Sooners or most of their fans

---

Exactly. The only good thing to come from Austin is some Sooner Haiku....

SWINGING SOONER
Pig under one arm
Goat under the other arm
He's BISEXUAL!

IMPOUNDED
Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino

DESIRE
Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost fergit
That you're my cousin

NATURE
Aluminum boat...
Eighteen sticks of dynamite.
Time to catch some fish.

BEAUTY
Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

REMORSE
A painful sadness
Cain't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door

LIAISON
Wife-beater T-shirt,
And stained Dickey's overall's,
Earl's lookin' for love.

DECOR
Billy Ray Cyrus,
And old NASCAR chick posters,
Sooner wallpaper.

CHARIOT
Huge NO FEAR decal,
Dual ten foot antennae,
Here comes the mayor.

MOTHERHOOD
You tell that teacher
You fail and I'll whup her arse,
Sunday after Church.

SECURITY
Ten coon dogs on chains,
Deer rifle, two-foot Mag-light,
Someone's in my yard.

SOONER SCHOOLGIRL'S LAMENT
Why won't boys kiss me?
Paw says I'm a good kisser
Brother disagrees

FASHION
Strutting through Dallas
Mullet, tank top, jean shorts, hat
Sooner on the prowl

OKLAHOMA'S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR
Snug fit Jordache Jeans
My mullet cut combed just right
Damn these chicks dig me

SOONER CRUISER
Two glasspac mufflers
Fuzzy dice hanging down low
Eighty-one fire bird

SOONER FOREPLAY
Ice cold Busch Light beer,
Smoke , lighter on bedside stand,
Here [censored]! I'm ready

SOONER DREAM GIRL
More tattoos than teeth
Tight polka dot tube top on,
Hot damn I'm in love.