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re: % of fans of your state's population?

Posted on 11/14/12 at 1:27 pm to
Posted by HarryBalzack
Member since Oct 2012
15228 posts
Posted on 11/14/12 at 1:27 pm to
quote:

Texas would be fricking awesome if not for that.


If the US were to receive an enema, Texico would be the insertion point. Seriously, we should try to give the dump back to Mexico, with an apology, and pray that they take it.

Here's an outline of Texican heroes:

William Travis - originally from Alabama. He started life as a lawyer/school teacher and married a 16 yo student. By 1831, he was such a sorry husband and degenerate spender that he drove his family into bankruptcy, then deserted his son and pregnant wife to skip out for Texico.

Sam Houston - onetime governor of Tennessee who was shamed from office for pulling a Jerry Lee Lewis and marrying a teenager. She kicked him out - rumors similar the Kenny Chesney/Rene Zellweger deal - at which point he fled the state for Oklahoma, where he became such a notorious booze hound that the Indians called him "Big Drunk." He married an Indian woman there, too, but like Travis, he deserted her for Texico.

Stephen F. Austin - also a bankrupt floater who lost his land and was mooching Kato Kaelin style with a friend in NOLA when his daddy died and left the ne'er-do-well his Texican claims. Austin then slipped over to Texico and tried to establish himself as an "empresario."

The Texican Revolution - what were they pissed about? Let's see...
1. After 1830, Mexico passed tough immigration laws that prohibited "Anglo wetbacks" from settling therein.
2. The Mexican government tried to enforce their law against slavery.
3. Per the original agreement allowing Anglos to settle Texico, all new residents had to convert to Catholicism if they wanted to have an active role in politics and civil matters. The revolution crowd decided AFTER they'd agreed to those terms and moved there that they didn't want to do that.
4. Racism - these assholes moved to Mexico, then complained about the Mexicans.
5. Spanish - after jumping the river for Texico, they refused to learn the language and got pissed when people wouldn't talk to them in English.

These and several other problems with Texican miscreants cause the Mexican government to dissolve the troublesome Texico legislature and sent an army to eject the assholes, as one does a rotten, festering turd.

The Alamo - Texico's most memorable act of asshatery/imbecility. "Hey, y'all, we've got 189 men in this 'army' and 4,000 Mexicans with heavy artillery are closing down on us. Let's hold up in a shitty church and see if we can swat them off." Yep, that was a great idea!

Hell, even after they won their independence, the US didn't want to touch them with a ten foot poll. They spent nine years as independent republic because no one would have them. Jackson ignored them, which says a lot considering what a redneck dick he was. They were finally accepted into the US only when they flirted with joining the British empire and the US felt forced into annexing them. Once annexed, they then tried to claim possession of the rest of the west, claims they dropped only after the US taxpayers agreed to pick up the massive debt they incurred while on their own.

You see, douchery is Texico's foundation and it has enjoyed a long and storied history since 1836. They're actually cocky/proud of this, too. Now that they're in the SEC, I guess we'll have to get used to their repetitive douching.

Alright, flame on, flame on. But so you know, this is why I've hated on Texico for years. Your epic run of douche this football season is but the tip of the iceberg.
Posted by TrueTexan
Texas
Member since Oct 2012
192 posts
Posted on 11/14/12 at 3:07 pm to
Funny I never would have thought to look up the history of Alabama or its founders....

And just like 98% of all Americans I never will.... suck it bammer.
Posted by aggressor
Austin, TX
Member since Sep 2011
8714 posts
Posted on 11/14/12 at 4:20 pm to
State smack with Texas? Srsly? Texas has a GDP the size of Russia. It's about 12 times the size of Alabama.

Those great men you belittled are true heroes. William Travis refused to surrender the Alamo and gave his life to secure the freedom of the People of Texas, the time he bought allowed Houston to rally his army to defeat the Dictator Santa Anna.

I don't even know what to say about someone from Alabama calling people from Texas racists.

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