I had posted this in Tiger Rant as well ~ enjoy, I hope.....

LSU vs UT

The LSU honey badgers just takes what they wants, and they wants a BCS ring. Their rampage across the south has allowed their fill of duck meat. bulldog, wildcat, and gator meat, like some sort of deranged brazillian grille. Their next stop is Knoxville, where Ole Smokey is sussin’ after a dog fight in which he lacked big enough paws. The mountain hound ain’t stupid tho; he intends to push out his water and food bowl for the badgers, and hide in his dog house…..and hope the honey beasts aren’t looking for some hot dogs.

Leonard-Dog’s Losers: UT by 20

UK vs BYE Nobody

The UK blind polecats are returning to Lexington after getting skint by hungry tigers, and molested by visored cocks. They meet up with BYE NOBODY this weekend, which has a winless record. The mountain kitties feel pretty good about this weekend, as NOBDOY has a worse offense than the Cats, NOBODY has a worse turnover margin than the Cats, and NOBODY looks more anemic. However, the putrid pvssies have been tripping on some powerful catnip FAIL. Look for a scoreless afternoon, until Morgan Newton trips backwards ‘herp-derp’, fumbling the ball into the endzone behind him, where NOBODY picks it up.

Leonard-Dog’s Losers: UK by 6

Auburn vs Florida

The Gators are coming away from a run-in with some nasty-a$$ed bayou honey badgers, that didn’t give a schidt. The Gators lost their tail in that fracas, and they aren’t some cute TV gecko-lizard that’s growing a new tail anytime soon. The corn-holed crocs are traveling to find some easy pickens on the Plains, maybe to dine on some eaglet eggs. The War Eagle had previously thought to raid the pig pens for some of the “other” white meat, but instead ran into some tough warthogs whose meat wasn’t easy on the beak. After losing several feathers, they’re now recouping in their eyries, where they will receive their green scaly visitors. This isn’t likely to be a highly violent battle, but its likely the birds of prey will peck at the swamp lizards enough to discover there’s a third type of white meat.

Leonard-Dog’s Losers: UF by 7

Alabama vs Ole Miss

The Crimson Tide rose this last weekend to swamp the Vanderbilt seamen out of their boat, and now the waters are a risin’ into Oxford this Saturday. The Rebel Bears had just recently discovered there actually ARE bulldogs in the world they can fight; they just have to go far, far west. But now they return to soggy oak groves, as the Tide rolls in. Look for water gauges to reach Fukushima, Japan levels, and as the black bruins try to hibernate, their slumber caves go into nuclear meltdown. The Rebel Leader, Admiral Ackbar, is not walking through that door.

Leonard-Dog’s Losers: Ole Miss by 28

UGA vs Vanderbilt

The Georgia Bulldogs are intending to expand their territory, and have “watered the hydrants” through-out Mississippi, and eastern Tennesseee. The new set of Neuticles that Mark Richt is sporting has evidently built the self-esteem up enuff to where they are sniffing out a visit to Atlanta this year. They’ve now set their sites to western Tennessee, where the soggy riverboat crew of Vanderbilt are trying to right their boat after getting capsized by a high tide. Bailing water and fending off bulldogs with prostate issues at the same time is going to be taxing; look for the white sailor dress slacks to be stained yellow.

Leonard-Dog’s Losers: Vandy by 10