re: Confessions of an SEC fan

To the Louisville Basketball player, sorry that I almost plastered your arse on your $100 moped while you were crossing 3rd street. But I'm not sorry that I told your illiterate, no jump shot having arse to get the frick out of my way before you have a shiny new UK license plate stamped across your arse in the process.

To the Tennessee fan who called my office every year for the past four years whenever we lost in FB, sorry that I covered your classroom with pictures of Matt Roark and played On, On, UofK into the intercom in your room all day long. Actually I'm not sorry. 26 years gives me plenty of leeway on this one.