The A&M recipe for why I am laughing my arse off at their misfortunes:

1) Leave the Big 12 to get out of Texas' shadow, spend your entire existence in the SEC convincing everyone you belong and that Texas is not your big brother. Added points for talking down to fans of schools that you perceive to be "beneath you".

2) Spend a repulsive amount of oil money on stadium upgrades, coaches, and purchasing the best recruiting class in history. Basically an attempt to purchase a blue blood card.

3) Convince yourselves that all of those recruits just really like the milkmen and College Station, Texas. The money had nothing to do with it.

4) Talk loads of shite and act like your program is a mixture of Notre Dame's history and Alabama in the modern era.

5) Have a bunch of extremely off-putting and strange cult-like traditions that you defend and seem to truly believe make your program special.

6) After anointing yourselves champions of the world in the off-season, sit at 3-4 midway through the 2022 season with about half of that shiny 2022 recruiting class either kicked off the team or injured. Featuring losses to App State, Mississippi State, and South Carolina.

7) Realize that you might have to pay nearly $90 million just to hit the reset button.