People flock to me

In 3rd grade all the boys in my class were divided into the "football fans" and the "Pokemon club". I was the only person in the class transcendent enough to be friends with both groups and permitted to be a part of both.

The week before I turned 21 I got locked up in Lee County Jail. I was unexpectedly released 4 days later and before I left a big burly black fellow told me "Man, I knew you were special when you walked in. Everybody was trying to help you out and Woah gave you his leftovers from dinner. I ain't never seen that behind bars before."

Anybody else have this problem? I hate people.