re: Mizzou. WTF....you screwed that swimmer

quote:

---

Even if he did nothing while she was alive - which seems like the cowards way out - why did he remain silent (and go so far as claiming the tape was lost) after the fact?

---

Calling it the coward's way out is your opinion, cheese. I see it as complying with her wishes, and that is critical with rape victims. And maybe he watched the tape, knew the story, considered her wishes, and decided coming forward with it would only drag her and her parents through the mud.

Obviously that would not he your choice, but that doesn't mean it's not a reasonable choice to have made.

His confronting the guys makes me think he wouldn't be covering for them.

And around, and around, and around it goes.
Where it stops, nobody knows

quote:

---

And around, and around, and around it goes.
Where it stops, nobody knows

---

Which is of course what ESPN wants most of all...

The really really sad and strange thing is, Mizzou's relative lack of national "brand" status relative to places like Penn State, Miami FL, USC, Ohio State, etc is likely to ensure that this issue won't become quite as much of a national firestorm as it would if the same story were ran at one of those places. Which is nuts, because if its about these important issues of campus safety, rape, mental health, suicide prevention etc - it should be a big discussion regardless of where it took place.

But my guess is it won't, because it happened at a middle of the pack university in a flyover state. Which, while sad in terms of the issues themselves, is perfectly fine with me insofar as the ESPN ratings whores will probably get what they deserve on this one, namely less advertising dollars from TV ratings and internet hits than they would have liked.

quote:

---

Obviously that would not he your choice

---

You are correct there. If I knew who it was I would do whatever was in my power to see they spent some time behind bars where they could get firsthand experience on what sexual assault feels like. Jails and prisons are full of folks who love when rapists and pedophiles get locked up.

quote:

---

decided coming forward with it would only drag her and her parents through the mud.

---

See, this is where I am having the trouble. I get it if he keeps quiet while she is alive, but after she died the parents are looking for closure and he seems to be the key. Granted it is damn tough to nut up and have that conversation with the parents but don't you think he should have at least made the effort? The way this thing is progressing now sure sounds like the parents are looking for closure now - only now it has escalated to a point where the mole hill has become the mountain.

quote:

---

His confronting the guys makes me think he wouldn't be covering for them.

---

If he really confronted them, seems like either side should have wound up in the hospital?

quote:

---

After the fact, that a deeply troubled young woman was determined to end her own life, what I find most disturbing is that she was able to obtain a bottle of pills to acheive this end, while under the supervision of a psychiatric health facility.

---

Very few people can understand the determination felt by someone in her state of mind. I had a male friend who was just as determined. He managed to take his life despite all the love of his family, his many friends and the psychiatric treatment he was receiving.

Bottom line is if all there is to talk about is Grits' stretch to find something wrong with the way Mizzou handled this situation by finding fault with the timing of signing paperwork, then I'd say there's no smoke much less fire to the story.

quote:

---

Prof...I'm curious. Assuming the withdrawal paperwork was all done hand in hand with the parents, do you come down just as hard on her parents? Sounds to me like they are probably just as much if not more culpable for having the paperwork signed when it was.

---

I don't think they were but to give you a better answer. No, I wouldn't hold the parents to the same standard. A parent is not in a situation to be able to evaluate things with all the information about withdrawals, incompletes, etc or to even know what all available options are or to fully comprehend mental health issues involved - despite past problems a new diagnosis, particularly a diagnosis Borderline Personality Disorder which is probably the single most misunderstood disorder on the planet, and that includes among mental health experts leaves them very much ignorant of the situation. It's a situation where they themselves are upset, emotional, and where even if they somehow mustered some emotionless Vulcan resolve, they were way out of their league. That's a situation in which they would lean on the university as well as the medical center for advice in doing the right thing. I feel the medical center shouldn't have let an admin into her room just after a suicide attempt and that Anderson should've used her brain and realized the gravity of the situation instead of operating as though this was a girl hospitalized with mono who'd be out for the semester but otherwise was stable.

If a diagnosis of BPD is accurate allowing anyone in to present withdrawal papers is a lot like being allowed to hand out free heroin at a rehab center and expecting no one to OD. Even her previous diagnosis of major depressive disorder plus a serious self-harm/suicide attempt should've precluded approaching her with this before she was in a more stable situation. I don't expect the AD to know that but I do expect the hospital to know that and for the AD to think about the situation they are dealing with before acting on that situation.

quote:

---

If she didn't want the shite reported or made public, what gave him the right to do so?

---

Read what is written. It may be one thing when she was alive, but the same standard can not be said after she was no longer alive. Why is this so hard to understand? These are 2 very distinct points in time. Once she is gone, a friend would go to the parents so the parents get closure. Funerals are not for the dead, they are to provide closure for the living. Her parents are still alive and from the reports seem to want some closure.

quote:

---

It may be one thing when she was alive, but the same standard can not be said after she was no longer alive. Why is this so hard to understand? These are 2 very distinct points in time.

---

So if I came to you in confidence and told you I was molested by my priest when I was in grade school, but I didn't want anyone else to know nor did I want to report it, you would honor my wishes while I was alive but once I died, to hell with my wishes and you would have my name drug through the mud because it's ok to do so because I'm no longer alive?

quote:

---

Maybe because she didn't want the shite reported Grits. If she didn't want the shite reported or made public, what gave him the right to do so?

---

This is a good point. On the other hand though you have to wonder why she would send him the tape in the first place? If she wanted the tape destroyed then why did she not destroy it? If she wanted it revealed then why didn't she reveal it? What did she expect him to do with it? What was the morally correct thing for him to do with the tape? It seems as though the morally correct action in this case might be at odds with the legally correct course of action.