Chris Farley

Man seeking 40 year old single women in Lincoln, Nebraska comes up disappointed

Could have done worse

Any time a new guy would leave his computer unlocked and walk away we’d send an email from his account asking the entire office where he could find a plunger.

tGOAT

Have a similar situation in my neighborhood. The ~25 year old son of my neighbors got picked up for some CP and stalking charges about a year ago. The case got passed to the Feds and he hasn’t been convicted or sentenced yet.

Meanwhile, he’s staying with Mom and Dad and the whole neighborhood is rightfully pissed. There are a ton of young kids living within a few houses of him and not much anyone can do about it until he’s convicted.

If he is convicted, I believe it comes with a 5yr sentence so I’m hoping that’s the outcome and it happens soon.

Bricked tf up


















Please be real

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I've never been to a Golden Corral but I hope that they have AED kits somewhere adjacent to the gravy vat and the pallet of dinner rolls

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First time I went I saw some whale get taken out in the meat wagon

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Was your mom also on the account? Was it clear they were your father’s tickets in the divorce?

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Guessing this is the missing pertinent detail here.

Regardless, Sonic is the appropriate venue for mediation.

Car salesman, has to be easy as hell if you aren’t a slimy prick

I’d do better than LD did on Curb

Can’t imagine why they now offer a $299 annual flight pass

Even fatter than expected