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Registered on:9/21/2004
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re: Marriage over or salvageable?

Posted by MonreauxTiger on 11/29/22 at 6:43 am
quote:

I'm in better physical shape than I was when we got married. I probably don't try to her romance her like I used to. One consistent quarrel we have is that I am just about always the one to initiate the sex we have and that aggravates me as I feel like if she really wanted to have sex she would try to initiate it sometimes as well.


Some women aren’t aroused solely by looks, others not at all after managing the kids and life all day, dishes, house, etc. For women like this, it’s consistently picking up the burden of the daily grind, taking off early here and there to let her go out to dinner with her friends, being thoughtful about ordinary stuff, going out of your way to take care of mundane chores, etc just so she can take a break. Not just on days you want sex, make it a habit and you will see a dramatic difference. When she sees the effort going into her it will translate in a spark you weren’t expecting. The issue is when you are doing these things it’s easy to think “ok now I’m going to be rewarded.”

If you really want to see a change, don’t keep score, just genuinely work on changing and you will get there. At the very least you will have the basis for a much more productive discussion.

re: Covid vaccine kicked my arse

Posted by MonreauxTiger on 9/17/21 at 7:30 am
Got both Pfizer shots couple months ago, no issues at all. Got Covid a few weeks ago from my son and had serious flu like symptoms for 2-3 days. I don’t feel triggered by the vaccines, by getting Covid, by my employer requiring the vaccine or by people that are triggered by it.

The group of retirees that leave due to the vaccine mandate will not only reduce the risk profile at the office, reduce the drama associated with constant posturing, but will provide accelerated opportunities for others that remain. I can see companies looking at this like an opportunity to exit some of the dead weight without the hassle.

We know there will be good performers leave as well, but if you want to know how long a company will suffer in your absence put your arm in a bucket of water and take it out to see how long it takes the ripples to smooth out.

re: Operator vs. Engineer?

Posted by MonreauxTiger on 7/23/20 at 11:27 am
I've worked around Union and Salaried Operators, Crafts and Engineers for over 20 years and I can say with certainty that the bell curve exists in this argument just as it does with any other debate.

Some of the most intelligent, hard working, and successful people I've ever been around were Operators. In addition, some of the dumbest and laziest people I've ever been around were Operators. I could say the same about Craftsmen, Engineers and people in other Functions. Most of the time it comes down to the individual, what type of person you are and how much pride you have in your work and how determined you are to maximize your potential over the long haul.

I actually think it is a worthless argument when comparing to see which is "better" as they are totally different, encounter a completely different barrier to entry, have differing role specific success criteria and typically complement each other toward the overall success of the function.

re: Operator vs. Engineer?

Posted by MonreauxTiger on 7/23/20 at 9:50 am
The biggest difference is ceiling and options over a 30-40 year career.

Operators make a great living and deal with difficult schedules that have benefits such as long hooks, but have drawbacks with being on call and holidays, nights, weekends. The base pay is good ($75K-$100K) and the OT upside is great and can easily push them to $150K-$250K. The ceiling is as good as that overtime is and over a career if you are interested in a potential game changing career step it isn't likely in the field. You can bounce around companies, technologies, roles, etc and join staff, but variability is quite limited.

Many (most) Engineers start out in the $80-$100K range, work the required hours, do a decent job and get an incremental raise every year at 1.5%-3%. Some are ambitious, successful and accept additional risks by moving around and taking on difficult assignments in different functions, specialized roles or leadership positions and the upside can pretty quickly jump up into the $250,000-$750,000 range.

Some of this is unknown to most people within a company, but once you advance to a certain haypoint level it activates things like base bonus percentage increases in the 30-50% level, stock options, deferred stock and other retirement pledges that overnight can take you from a $130,000 salary to $400,000+ which only grows more significant as you progress further.

For me Chemical Engineering was more about options, long term growth potential, quality of life as I moved into my late 40s and beyond and a high ceiling as opposed to the amount I made the first few years of my tenure.
I spent the holidays in Louisiana and made the trip back to Minneapolis Saturday. -15 degrees actual temperature at my house right now.

I have had people telling me that it is a dry cold, but it is crazy how cold it is. Kids ice fished for four hours yesterday and I sat out by a fire last night while they skated on a homemade rink in my neighborhood. The last third of every beer froze solid just standing there and the ice in a burning fire pit didn't melt after two hours of burning a fire in it.

Happy New Year.
And a passion for culinary excellence, including a demand for only the freshest ingriedients.
5417 heated. Too big.

Like a full time job keeping up with the cleaning and chasing clothes for laundry, etc. Last home was 4387 and was perfect. Years ago had one about 2700 and was too small.

Three kids.
My opinion is you shouldn't overreact. This happens and it isn't limited to you or about you other than you are needed and valued in current role OR you haven't been in current role long enough OR your performance hasn't been good enough to warrant allowing you to move.

If you value your career and working at your current employer, relax. Get some clarity and determine why, ask what you can do to achieve your interests and take the weekend to think through. If you don't care quit.

Most employees think they have leverage, but you really don't. Go stick your hand in a bucket of water and pull it out and see how long it takes for the small ripple to flatten back out. I always put the bigger picture ahead of my immediate emotional reaction and it has served me well over time.
I also work for a Fortune 500 company and manage around 650 employees. (Obviously there are layers of leadership that have most of the direct reports). Our HR system will not allow us to process an increase over 12% without escalation up to high levels of the company.

Generally speaking roles are broad and increase in responsibility is reflected in a good performance rating vs just doing the bare minimum. You will also be put in position to grow and develop at a higher rate than others. Also, we have a defined curve that includes years of service, expertise in technology, breadth of experience, performance rating, etc and you are managed on that curve and in my experience the only time we would ever consider an increase greater than the 12% at one time would be if we started an experienced hire very low and recognized that our initial assessment was not appropriate.

You have to realize there are many people carrying more than their fair share of workload in a Fortune 500 company and if every time some gets a few certifications and picks up extra work we arbitrarily give them a 20% raise, especially in functional roles that don't deliver a product, we would lose our competitive advantage.

re: I miss the south

Posted by MonreauxTiger on 10/21/17 at 8:15 am
quote:

That sounds like a good thing.


It should be but in my line of work I find much more conflict in things that were just a given in Louisiana or Texas. Just a different sense of urgency to deliver business needs than what I'm accustomed to.

I can't argue the notion, just makes things difficult for the employer, but it has definitely made me stop and think about what the balance should really look like.

re: I miss the south

Posted by MonreauxTiger on 10/21/17 at 8:09 am
Moved to Minneapolis this year after a lifetime in Louisiana and Texas.

1. Weather is incredible from May through October. A handful of "hot" days in the 82-85 range, great baseball weather and you can spend all day outside grilling, playing golf, working on your property, etc and never break a sweat then start a fire in the pit at night for the 55-60 degree weather.

2. People are too nice. Almost fake nice. Hard to explain but just weird.

3. Food sucks. Well it's more that there is no difference from place to place. There are so many places with great burgers, cheese curds, wings and sandwhiches, but they all taste the same. Steakhouses are pretty good but not like Houston of course. Seafood is not good.

4. Very liberal and people dont work as hard or as long as we do in the south. They value time off more than money or career. At least my experience.

5. Cleanest and safest place I've ever been.

6. Very expensive, everything.

I've actually enjoyed it but it feels like somewhere I have to live for a while versus a new home. Just can't make it feel like home even though we are in a great place. Looking forward to getting back to the Gulf Coast in a few years.
2009 911 S here, manual. It is so much fun to drive I cannot imagine buying the auto. Want to get a newer model 4S, but must have manual transmission.

Great daily driver, but rock chips on the hood are incredibly painful.
Bought a Benelli 12 Gauge and a Franchi 12 gauge for my son today.
"Yeah, but sometimes I can't afford 40 fricking minutes. I had an interview once, tons of counts put their purses in overhead, and it took literally an hour and a half for me to get my carry-on from baggage claim, barely making it to the interview in time. It's not the money, it's the time a-hole."

I've flown 60-70 commercial flights in the past six months and have not experienced this sort of delay for baggage. I guess I'm lucky, but that seems like an extreme example. With air travel if you book with little margin of error on connections and appointments it certainly can magnify things.

A lot of variability between airports as well though, I've seen the full range but not sure I've spent more than 25-30 minutes from deplane to walking out of baggage claim with my bag in all of those flights.

re: Completed Week 1 of My New Job

Posted by MonreauxTiger on 6/3/17 at 11:30 pm
Most people live their own dream and everyone has a different barometer of happiness.

I wouldn't take your job for $5mill a year, but the scenery is stunning and I'm sure it is a fantastic opportunity. No point in trying to convince each other who is living the better dream as it is completely opinion and personal goal oriented.

I've moved my family three times with my company in the past five years and most tell me I'm crazy but it's what you do when you chase "it". For you it's open spaces, the wilderness and adventure, for me it's something different yet equally satisfying.

re: Completed Week 1 of My New Job

Posted by MonreauxTiger on 6/3/17 at 11:20 pm
Money is not the root of all evil. The love of money is the root of all evil.
Just moved from Houston to Minneapolis and there are 40+ nationalities represented at my workplace. Houston is diverse, but heavy in the top three/four.

Completely surprised me when I got to Minneapolis, but the level of diversity here is incredible. Interestingly enough, or not at all, I live just outside of Minneapolis in a city that is 99.5% non diverse.

60 at work (another 10 on phone/online at home)

48 direct/673 overall
Hard to say. New R8 will be $160,000-$200,000 so I suspect you could get a 2-3 year old R8 with low miles for $90,000-$100,000.

I love the classic cars, but I've just never wanted one for some reason. I like all the features on newer cars and the handling/acceleration of the 911. Never been in an Audi but the R8 is interesting.

They just opened a Maclaren dealer here in Houston a year or so ago and I've been tempted to go by and look at them as well.
Porsche 911 Carrera 4S. Last year I bought a black 911 Carrera S and now I know why anyone would want to waste that kind of money on a car.

Of course, I like driving fast and pissing my wife off and that car allows me to do both simultaneously. Would prefer the 4S but would still get black on black. It is just a different experience to drive and maybe the first vehicle in my life (I buy a lot of vehicles) that I like more and more as the days go by.

I would also probably test drive an Audi R8.