WarCamEagle88

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Wondering what heinous acts barn fans committed in prior lives to deserve this?

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Well, we know that we can take “poisoning trees of a rival school”, “vehicular manslaughter due to driving at high rates of speed on a highway”, and “aiding and abetting in the shooting death of an innocent mother” off the list of options.

I’m grateful none of those things could be weighing on our conscience…

Bravo, sir. Great read, thanks for sharing.

The story of my first turkey isn’t remarkable because of the hunt itself, but rather the aftermath, once the echo of the 12-gauge had dissipated.

I was 16 or so, hunting with my dad on the family farm, where he had grown up and killed his first turkey. We hunted all morning without any luck, but in the afternoon we got one to come in as we sat under a cedar tree on the edge of an overgrown field. The Tom became visible as he stepped from behind a patch of tall grass and multiflora rose, and BOOM, I let fly.

The turkey started flopping around, half trying to fly away, and was starting to cover more ground than I expected, so I ran up, put on boot on his head, unsheathed my knife and cut his throat to put him out of his misery and ensure my first bird couldn’t get away.

As my dad caught up with me and we started back-slappin’ and celebrating my first gobbler he helped call in, we noticed a strange sound coming from the bird I was still standing on. Kind of a humming noise. We thought maybe it was just the last air escaping from the windpipe I had cut through in my haste to open his jugular with my knife. But the hum kept getting louder, and we sat there for a few more seconds, confused. Around the moment our brains decided that air escaping couldn’t be the source of this ever-increasing hum, we notice a mass of yellow-jackets starting to fight their way out from under the clump of tall grass the turkey’s body had pushed over in his final death-throes.

The Tom had managed to flop his way on top of a nest, and pushed the tall grass over just enough to somewhat block the hole long enough for us to catch our breath and let the bird quit flapping his wings and die.

As soon as we saw those yellow-jackets squirming out of the grass clump, my dad said “Grab the bird and run like hell!” and I was happy to oblige. I will never forget that day, I hope.

I often wonder, what are the odds of that happening? Out of all the places that Tom could’ve died, it was on top of a hornets’ nest? In a 50 acre field, he lands exactly there? And then factor in the odds that, when my dad was 10 years old, out hunting this same farm by himself, he would get the collar of his jacket caught on a barbed wire fence as he tried to crawl under it, and his yanking to try and get loose stirred up a nest of yellow-jackets at the base of the fence post. He was stung hundreds or thousands of times and very nearly died.

The odds of all these seemingly random factors actually occurring together are incalculable. Nearly Infinite, but yet, somehow possible.

Was this just pure coincidence? A sign from above? A message from the Lord that he has his hand in the outcome of our lives more than we know? A joke from the universe, the great Cosmic Giggle? I’ll never know for certain, but I have a hunch.

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Same as always. Some people are dicks. Those dicks get jobs. Doesn't make their profession bad... it just means some dicks do every job that exist. There are more dicks than you realize.

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You’re absolutely right, but I would argue that the system also creates more dicks via the incentives. They get rewarded, promoted, pay raises, etc for being dicks. Few people have the backbone and moral integrity to avoid becoming a dick when money and prestige are the reward.

The system is flawed and needs to be reformed at every level of law enforcement. Civil asset forfeiture (like taking a truck from a citizen accused of a crime) should be illegal.

When police or green jeans are giddy with excitement when arresting and confiscating property from citizens, we need to start examining the perverse incentives that cause this excitement.

Why should your career be advanced for getting lucky on who you arrest? You bait some poor soul into making a mistake (or in this case, nothing illegal at all), and get promoted due to dumb luck because the guy happens to have thermals and a new truck?

Luck should have nothing to do with promotions, it should be earned by a good work ethic, high moral standards, and a record of treating citizens with the kindness and respect they deserve (if they deserve it).

I’ve noticed having a bad cell signal makes a big difference in the accuracy of what it’s showing you too.

Regarding Bill Kaz, I used to go to his gym in Auburn on occasion back in the late 90’s. I remember seeing him around town sometimes too. He was a mountain of a man, even at that age (50s?). Truly impressive. Certainly inspiring at my young age.

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Bama played (Adj Rush Def) OU (2) UGA (8) OU (2) IU (4)

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But I was reliably told that Bama is the greatest football program ever and every other team sucks compared to them. If true, why would the rush defense of these teams matter? Wouldn’t the greatest program ever dominate everyone they played no matter what?

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peace

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In case anyone was wondering about the intelligence of Gump fans, Exhibit A

We had a very dry summer, which I believe is the reason why there are no acorns or apples where I hunt. Didn’t see many deer this October like we normally would. Hoping it’ll be better next year.

But I see you all beat me to it.

Carry on.