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re: I.M. hopped up on Mountain Dew Nightly Thread
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:34 am to gatorprincess815
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:34 am to gatorprincess815
Damn. So are you wearing Jorts now?
1
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:35 am to BillyBobfan24_7
Night Billy.
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:35 am to gatorprincess815
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:35 am to dawgfan1979
Is it now? show me what you got.
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:35 am to BillyBobfan24_7
No, A nightie.
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:36 am to dawgfan1979
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:37 am to gatorprincess815
A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.
Officer: May i see your licence?
Lady: what does it look like?
Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.
The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.
The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'
Officer: May i see your licence?
Lady: what does it look like?
Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.
The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.
The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:38 am to dawgfan1979
In other news, this fried rabbit is gamey as hell. He must of been an ole buck rabbit.
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:39 am to gatorprincess815
Well that sucks. 
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:40 am to BillyBobfan24_7
quote:
Well that sucks.
Goodnight.
I think shes sayin shes wearing a nighty instead of jorts
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:44 am to gatorprincess815
quote:
A nightie.
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:44 am to dawgfan1979
yall need to wake the frick up 
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:46 am to gatorprincess815
quote:
show me what you got.
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:49 am to dawgfan1979
Yes, A Nightie like a nightgown. I don't have any new jokes that are good.
I am awake, I got to wake my brother up for work.
I am awake, I got to wake my brother up for work.
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:51 am to gatorprincess815
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:54 am to gatorprincess815
I gotta go fix a light fixture brb
Posted on 8/19/11 at 3:59 am to dawgfan1979
np, I just got to a steamy part in my book.
Posted on 8/19/11 at 4:11 am to gatorprincess815
aight Im back
Posted on 8/19/11 at 4:11 am to gatorprincess815
quote:
just got to a steamy part in my book.
Flickin the bean
Posted on 8/19/11 at 4:14 am to dawgfan1979
No, but it's flooding.
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