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Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:19 pm to KSGamecock
quote:
How terrible for her that she has a devout grandson in law.
I wouldn’t say I’m devout-but my dad is. Maybe that’s why he’s still among us after a .40 to the chest.
I live less than 2 blocks from the church because I knew I couldn’t avoid Mass if the church was literally staring me in the face every day, and I could hear the bells every quarter hour. It’s sad that I need that much prompting.
This post was edited on 1/28/19 at 10:22 pm
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:22 pm to KSGamecock
quote:
How much seed money did you give to your church for 2019?
None. I haven't been to church in years for the reasons previously mentioned as well as some laziness on my part.
I did put in the work when I helped seed the grounds around the church and clean up, but then I don't believe salvation comes from acts themselves. My view is that if you are truly a follower you would want to do the right thing regardless of if it affects you getting in or not.
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:23 pm to DownSouthJukin
quote:
I live less than 2 blocks from the church because I knew I couldn’t avoid Mass if the church was literally staring me in the face every day, and I could hear the bells every quarter hour. It’s sad that I need that much prompting.
Hey, at least youre going
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:23 pm to thatguy45
Stop being serious and let me bantz you.
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:25 pm to KSGamecock
Well I mean would you rather get the serving dish for money passed to you or some dude coming up to you with a basket attached to a stick jabbing you?
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:25 pm to KSGamecock
Let me help you with a Catholic joke.
A priest and a boy are walking down a country road. As the road turns it takes them to the entrance to a deep, dark, frightening forest. The boy turns to the priest and says, "Father, I'm afraid." The priest than looks at the boy and replies, "You think you're scared? I've got to walk out of here alone."
A priest and a boy are walking down a country road. As the road turns it takes them to the entrance to a deep, dark, frightening forest. The boy turns to the priest and says, "Father, I'm afraid." The priest than looks at the boy and replies, "You think you're scared? I've got to walk out of here alone."
This post was edited on 1/28/19 at 10:27 pm
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:27 pm to KSGamecock
I got one, what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:27 pm to thatguy45
Baptists pass collection dishes? I thought you all run up to the front, throw your money on the floor, and then the pastor runs through it dancing.
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:27 pm to thatguy45
Why do you take two Baptists fishing with you?
If you take just one he’ll drink all your beer.
This post was edited on 1/28/19 at 10:29 pm
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:28 pm to thatguy45
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:29 pm to DownSouthJukin
Oh I like that one.
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:30 pm to KSGamecock
quote:
I thought you all run up to the front, throw your money on the floor, and then the pastor runs through it dancing.
No, no, no you don't throw it in the floor. How it goes is you all form a circle around the pastor and make it rain with your money. He picks it up shouting how high he has been lifted by the spirit and then after church goes and buys more booze
Its called holy showers
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:31 pm to DownSouthJukin
I always liked the one: Wherever there's 4 Baptists there's liable to be a fifthPosted on 1/28/19 at 10:31 pm to thatguy45
Wow, it's even better than I imagined. At what point do the people start fainting, is that before or after the snakes?
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:33 pm to thatguy45
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:34 pm to KSGamecock
quote:
At what point do the people start fainting, is that before or after the snakes?
Snakes are brought in once the spirit of Ben Franklin has been released a few hundred times. At that point people will faint from the beautiful site of the pastor going off the top of the pulpit onto the snake
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:35 pm to thatguy45
I...I think I wanna be Baptist now. Just don't dunk me bro, I'm hydrophobic.
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:37 pm to DownSouthJukin
quote:
I think he was just commenting on the fact that 99.9% of the time statements like those from the OP come from Baptists.
Can confirm, grew up in a southern Baptist church and heard stuff like that a lot. My mom was raised Catholic and even she used to say how she was worried her dad would end up in hell since he was a devout Catholic
Posted on 1/28/19 at 10:37 pm to KSGamecock
quote:
Just don't dunk me bro, I'm hydrophobic.
Don't be a puss, you can have it done in a lake if you don't want the tub. Maybe catch some fishes for the after service lunch instead of just bringin kfc
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