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Posted on 5/6/25 at 11:02 am to 1BIGTigerFan
quote:
I think Captain Sum Ting Wong flies out of that airport.
Morning All
Posted on 5/7/25 at 5:45 am to 1BIGTigerFan
Posted on 5/7/25 at 7:30 am to Rockbrc
Good morning to my only friends.
Posted on 5/7/25 at 9:05 am to Radio One
Today in History: May 7
0558 The dome of the church of St. Sophia in Constantinople collapses. Its immediate rebuilding is ordered by Justinian.
1429 Joan of Arc breaks the English siege of Orleans.
1800 Congress divides the Northwest Territory into two parts. The western part will becomes the Indiana Territory and the eastern section remains the Northwest Territory.
1824 Beethoven's "Ninth Symphony" premieres in Vienna.
1877 Indian chief Sitting Bull enters Canada with a trail of Indians after the Battle of Little Bighorn.
1942 In the Battle of the Coral Sea, Japanese and American navies attack each other with carrier-launched warplanes. It is the first time in the history of naval warfare where two fleets fought without seeing each other.Two crucial battles in 1942 marked the turning point of the war in the Pacific.
1945 World War II: Unconditional German surrender to the Allies signed by General Alfred Jodl at Rheims
1960 Leonid Brezhnev becomes president of the Soviet Union.
1993 South Africa agrees to multi-racial elections
2012 Vladimir Putin sworn in for third six-year term as President of Russia
2020 US unemployment claims hit 33.3 million or 20% of the workforce, vs two months ago unemployment 3.5%, a 50-year low
2021 Ransomware attack on US Colonial pipeline by the DarkSide criminal group stops supply to half of east coast
2022 Afghan women issued decree to cover their faces in public (hijab reaching head to toe) by Ministry for the Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, or her male guardian faces criminal punishment
2024 Stormy Daniels testifies in court to a 2006 sexual encounter with Donald Trump as part of a hush money trial against Trump
Born on May 7
1901 Gary Cooper, film actor (High Noon, Friendly Persuasion).
1909 Edwin Herbert Land, inventor of the Polaroid Land Camera.
1969 Katerina Maleeva, Bulgarian tennis player (11 x WTA titles; World #6 1990), born in Sofia, Bulgaria
JOTD
Are your kids twins?
A very loud, unattractive, mean, nasty woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"
"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter, "I just couldn't believe someone would frick you twice ..."

Posted on 5/7/25 at 9:48 am to Armymann50
quote:
1429 Joan of Arc breaks the English siege of Orleans.
After being appointed leader of the French Army (many suspect the French King was looking for a scapegoat) Joan of Arc went on an absolute tear.
And she pulled it off because she didn't know what she was doing. Back then warfare was either lightning fast raids designed to kill helpless peasants or slow, ponderous sieges. It could take weeks, sometimes months, just to move an army a distance that could be covered in two days at a brisk walk.
Joan, not knowing how things were supposed to be done, went with the logic of "if it takes us two days to walk there then we attack in three days." Her forces appeared like a bolt out of the blue to the stunned English. Helping matters was the fact that her subordinate commanders were exceptionally skilled... but overly cautious since bold attacks earlier in the war tended to be disasters.
Her boldness would, eventually, come back to haunt her when she was captured leading an attack on fortified position. Fortunately the French King... err... well actually he encouraged the English to get rid of her since he was jealous of her immense popularity. After several weeks of rape and torture the English burned her at the stake as a witch.
Posted on 5/7/25 at 10:06 am to Armymann50
Posted on 5/7/25 at 10:28 am to paperwasp
yup the good ole days when the rant was something 
quote:
TD's own Stormy Daniels
Posted on 5/7/25 at 11:16 pm to Arksulli
quote:
burned her at the stake as a witch.
not how I wanna go out.
Posted on 5/8/25 at 3:52 am to Armymann50
Today in History: May 8
1541 Hernando de Soto discovers the Mississippi River which he calls Rio de Espiritu Santo.
1794 The United States Post Office is established.
1862 General 'Stonewall' Jackson repulses the Federals at the Battle of McDowell, in the Shenendoah Valley.
1864 Union troops arrive at Spotsylvania Court House to find the Confederates waiting for them.
1886 Atlanta pharmacist John Pemberton invents Coca Cola.
1904 U.S. Marines land in Tangier, North Africa, to protect the Belgian legation.
1940 German commandos in Dutch uniforms cross the Dutch border to hold bridges for the advancing German army.
1942 The Battle of the Coral Sea between the Japanese Navy and the U.S. Navy ends.
1945 The final surrender of German forces is celebrated as VE (Victory Europe) day.
1967 Boxer Muhammad Ali is indicted for refusing induction in U.S. Army.
1995 Jacques Chirac is elected president of France.
2021 Tesla chief executive Tesla Elon Musk hosts "Saturday Night Live" in the US
2021 Indian Medical Association calls for a national lockdown, criticizing President Modi's government's response as recorded COVID-19 deaths pass 4,000 a day
2022 Thai government announces it will give away one million cannabis plants to households to mark new rule allowing people to grow it at home
Born on May 8
.
1884 Harry S. Truman, 33rd President of the United States (1945-1953).
1969 mfiwd Lizzies husband
JOTD
A priest goes into a barbershop, gets a haircut, thanks the barber and asks how much he owes him.
The barber says, "Father, you're a holy man, a man of the cloth, I couldn't charge you, it's on the house."
The priest says, "Thank you very much" and leaves.
The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 gold coins.
A few days later, a minister goes in for a shave and a shine, and when the time comes to pay the barber says, "No money, please, you're a spiritual leader, a man of the cloth. It's on the house."
The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep are 12 rubies.
The following week a rabbi comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay, and the barber says, "No, rabbi, you are a learned man, a wise man. I can't take any money from you. Go in peace."
And the next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 rabbis.

Posted on 5/8/25 at 5:49 am to kywildcatfanone
GM my fellow denizens
Posted on 5/8/25 at 11:29 am to Armymann50
quote:
1886 Atlanta pharmacist John Pemberton invents Coca Cola.
True, no BS, story time. My great grandfather owned the major bottling company in the Memphis area. He was approached by a growing company that offered him 25-50% of their company (depending on how much he put in) if he would bottle and promote their product. He turned them down.
It was Coca Cola. We will skip over how he lost all his businesses and stocks during the Great Depression.
Oh! And I just finished a coke with my lunch.
Posted on 5/9/25 at 3:48 am to Arksulli
Today in History: May 9
1502 Christopher Columbus leaves Spain on his final trip to the New World.
1859 Threatened by the advancing French army, the Austrian army retreats across the River Sesia in Italy.
1864 Union General John Sedgwick is shot and killed by a Confederate sharpshooter during fighting at Spotsylvania. His last words are: "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--"
1962 A laser beam is successfully bounced off the moon for the first time.
1974 The House Judiciary Committee begins formal hearings on Nixon impeachment.
1992 Salem Village Witchcraft Victims' Memorial dedicated in Danvers (formally Salem Village) to mark 300 year anniversary of trials
2018 Argentina announces talks with the IMF amid a new financial crisis with interest rates at 40%
2019 New Australian $50 bank note misspells responsibility as "responsibilty" on 46 million notes
2022 An Andy Warhol portrait of Marilyn Monroe sells for $195 million at auction in New York - the highest price ever for an American artwork
2023 George Harrison's "Here Comes The Sun" becomes 1st Beatles song to register a billion streams on Spotify, it is also the oldest song to do so
Born on May 9
1921 Mona van Duyn, American poet laureate.
1936 Albert Finney, British actor (Murder on the Orient Express, Tom Jones).
JOTD
A priest hooks a huge fish
A priest hooks a huge fish
Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that fricker!".
"Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.
Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father, but that's what this fish is called, it's a fricker fish".
Accepting the explanation, the priest forgives the sailor and takes the fish back to church.
"Look at this huge fricker" says the priest, spotting the bishop.
"Language, please! this is God's house," replies the bishop.
"No, no that's what this fish is called, "says the priest.
"Oh," says the bishop, scratching his chin "I could clean that fricker and we could have it for dinner".
So the bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and brings it to the mother superior.
"Could you cook this fricker for dinner tonight?" he asks her.
"My, what language!" she exclaims, clearly shocked.
"No, sister that's what the fish is called - a fricker", says the bishop.
Satisfied with the explanation, the mother superior says, "Wonderful, I'll cook that fricker tonight, The Pope is coming for dinner!"
The fish tastes just great and The Pope asks where they got it.
"Well, I caught the fricker!" says the priest.
"And I cleaned the fricker!" says the bishop.
"And I cooked the fricker!" says the mother superior.
The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely glaze, leans back on his chair, takes off his cap, puts his feet up on the table, pours himself a whiskey and says:" You know what?, You c u n t s are alright."

Posted on 5/9/25 at 7:53 am to kywildcatfanone
Good morning looking forward to another fine day on the Rant
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