dp

quote:

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most of all I'm sorry. I wish I could be better for everyone around me, but I can't even begin to understand how.

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After a MAJOR frick up in my life I felt similar. I had court appointed counseling to help me get there, but I found that trying to make those around me that I care about smile and be happy gave me a purpose that helped me dig out of that hole. Helping other people with their problems has helped me deal with my own.

Just a regular man

I missed seeing the original message, so I'm grasping for straws, but I think I sorta understand what is sort of going on.

+1000 Find a purpose. Move furniture for a Ministry donation company, anything. I don't know what you do, but offer to do it pro-bono for a couple of weeks for a church, pre-school, etc.

Be nice to random people. They work at Whataburger/Waffle House, your local bar, your Walmart, just tell them you like their work ethic or something. It makes you feel better than you would imagine. Not to reveal part of the secret sauce, but part of that is revealing your feelings to strangers... "Hey, I noticed you picked up a napkin that fell off a table that wasn't from your table, thanks," chips away at a barrier in you. Cost you nothing. But think about it made that waitress feel. It can be your apartment trash dude, whomever. Do it once, to anyone, see how you feel.

Dumb example: The guy that ran the cafeteria at my kids pre-school years ago was a black dude that worked out a lot. My kids loved him. They wanted to know what to get him for his birthday. He was into protein, so we settled on a bag of cooked bacon he could eat while he was working. That was five years ago, and it still makes me happy how much he appreciated my kids bringing him $2 worth of bacon.