re: RollBanaRoll: Meltdown - Iron Bowl Edition

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- Eventually the AUburn bullshite has to run out… right? Like the devil is past due on collecting some goddamn barner souls. I swear in the next 5 years the devil say to himself “Alright Gus you motherfricker you’re past due,” Half the auburn players will start shitting themselves as Malzahn slowly walks to midfield in the middle of a play. Everyone stops and watches as his eyes turn the brightest shade of green the earth has ever seen. Fans and players watch on in horror as Gus makes noises too horrible to come from a human body. The players on the field run back to their sidelines as the noises grow louder and louder and Gus begins to levitate off the ground. Below him the ground starts to rumble, then splits open as Gus Malzahn starts descending slowly into the depths of hell while screaming “NO DON’T TAKE ME, IT WASN’T WORTH IT PLEASE TAKE CHIZIK INSTEAD!!!” His pleas fall on deaf ears as the ground closes up and swallows him whole. All the spectators watch on in stunned silence, then slowly the teams and fans walk out of the stadium, unable to ever forget what they saw. Auburn immediately shuts down the university and the town is permanently evacuated. The army launches a nuclear bomb into the permanently vacated town formerly known as auburn just for good measure. A governmental blockade is permanently placed around the area and a metal dome forever covers the area to dissuade any from visiting the relics left from that time. Legend says the only things remaining after the nuclear blast were a waffle house sign, charred bits of an auburn visor, and a few feathers from an eagle.

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