re: Is this the worst opening weekend ever?

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It would have to be, right?

I think Hawaii's opener in Sydney last year was about the same distance away from Honolulu.

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The three farthest distances are

Hawaii to Amherst vs UMass - 5,006 miles
Hawaii to Piscataway vs Rutgers - 4,935 miles
Hawaii to Philadelphia vs Temple - 4,908 miles

Their trip to Sydney was 5,071 miles. Cal had to travel 7,430 miles from Berkley.

Rice will be going 8,581 miles for their game in Sydney against Stanford who themselves are 7,419 miles away.

I know there were a few games in Tokyo too but I'm too lazy to look those up.