Produce good moonshine.

Grow good ganja.

Bang out a couple of hot black chicks - at the same time.

Exceed 160+ MPOH on a major interstate at 0300 hrs in the morning .... outrun some cops in the process. (You've got a better chance again county sheriffs than you do state troopers, but you can't be picky.)

Climb a radio tower somewhere along the river bottoms between West Memphis Arkansas and Mattox Bay ... and hang a confederate flag from the top that will be flying full staff when the sun rises.

Cop a blowjob from a girl named Bridgett in one of the balcony boxes at the Malco Theater in Hot Springs.

Roll a shite talking drunk in Memphis and rearrange all of his pocket cash and wallet and jewelry so he can't find it when he wakes up in the bushes in the morning until he reads the note left in his shoe.

Set out 300 hooks on your trot lines when you've only got tags for 50.

Jump in the intercoastal while the tide in going-on and swim with your buddies a couple of mile down to the swivel bridge then stand up in the shell beds and pull your britches down mooning all the tourist traffic stuck up on the bridge. Then when the cops show-up jump back in the water and float down to the harbor where your equally drunk buddies pick you up and y'all take off to Shem's Creek where Ronnie hides y'all until you can get in his boat and run it up on a sand bar only to be rescued by the damn harbor patrol at 3:30 AM.

Sneak a bunch of underground Berlin hooers back to your barracks where you party until daybreak and it's time for PT but the MPs show-up and start cracking heads but a few of your buddies and you jump out of the third story windows to make formation ... only two legs broken.

Smuggle a pound of primo ganja on your commercial flight to Detroit for your piasano's wedding in Bloomfield Hills and have the dogs sniffing at your crotch and feign butthurtness until the dog handlers let you pass and you see them kicking the dogs as you make your way to the gate.

Steeling your preacher's phone during a church outing and then calling 900 numbers with it all night on the speaker phone in the tent with some girls from another church who were there visiting from North Carolina and you and your buddies end-up banging-them-out on cots in the men's tent all night.

Putting a rattlesnake in the mailbox of the deputy who was busting all the moonshine runners in the county and then reselling parts of the moonshine on the sligh.

There's some others .... but I'm not proud of some of the things I've done so I'll refrain from those.