re: Robin Williams has died - suspected of suicide

Time and removing myself from the stressful situation and circumstances that triggered the overwhelming anxiety, guilt, stress and subsequent deep depression eventually helped me slowly get out of the pit of despair. Thing have been MUCH better the last several years but I never have really gotten over the experience which basically robbed me of several prime years of my life. I'm trying to make up for lost time now.

The problem though is that after a traumatic experience like that you tend to avoid taking chances in life that could be life changing in a great way due to fears that any setbacks might send you into downward spiral. You do what so many people with dysthymia do and as a coping mechanism you merely exist and never take a chance in life. In short, life passes you by when you are capable of so much more. Such a crappy, uninspiring way to live.

I'm doing much better controlling my anxiety. I just wish I had more energy and ambition. Depression tends to kill your confidence and ambition which I think is one of the worst aspects of the condition. It's such an irrational and terrible misuse of your mental and physical energy.