re: He used to be a she, and she used to be a he ... now they're in love.

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That doesn't change the fact that it was a dude.

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Obviously. My point was that some people are just Pats. It's not obvious WTF they are. There are guys who could pass as women if they grew their hair long and put on some makeup. We aren't talking about the trannies with strong jawlines, 20 inch biceps, and a 5 o'clock shadow. Add surgeries and hormone therapy to an androgynous male and you get the shemale in the OP.

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Would she have the courtesy to tell me that she used to be a guy in that situation?

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I seriously doubt it. It considers itself a female and always has.