Did you hear about the Aggie that drove his pickup into the lake? His dog drowned while he tried to get the tailgate down.

Why don't Aggies use 911 in an emergency? Because they can't find "eleven" on the phone dial.

How can you tell an Aggie is on location at a drilling rig? He's the one throwing bread to the helicopters.

How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo? Two. One to do the eating, and one to watch for cars.

Ice is no longer available in the drinks at the cafeterias at A&M. The senior who knew the recipe graduated.

An Aggie went hunting and shot two deer. When he went to the taxidermist, he was asked if he wanted them mounted. "No," the Aggie replied, "kissing will be fine."

How do you sink a submarine which is manned by Aggies? Have a diver knock on the hatch.

Did you hear that the A&M library had to close down this year? Somebody stole the book.

Did you hear about the Houston Cougar that transferred to A&M? He raised the IQ of both schools

Then there the Aggie that was hunting in the woods. He happened upon this beautiful woman laying naked in the grass. He asked her, "Are you game?" The woman said "yes." So he shot her.

How do Aggies practice safe sex? They get rid of all the animals that kick.

Did you hear about the Cessna airplane that crashed in a cemetery in College Station recently? Aggie search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and are still digging.

At the end of the night, the Aggie turns to his girlfriend and asks, "Why is it everytime I go out with you, I end up spending hundreds of dollars?" And she says, "Because I'm a prostitute."

Why does the Aggie Corps wear uniforms made out of polyester? There's no virgin wool within a hundred miles of College Station

What's the definition of mass confusion? Father's day in College Station.

What about the Aggie whose wife gave birth to twins? He wanted to know who the other man was

How many Aggies does it take to change a flat tire? Just one . . . unless it's a blowout, then they all show up!

Why did the Aggie get rid of his freezer? He got tired of cutting the ice into little squares to fit into the trays.

Why can't Aggies field an ice-hockey team? Everyone drowns in spring training.

Why can't Aggie farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep.

What are the vital statistics of the winner of the Miss A&M Beauty Contest? 36-24-26.....and the other leg is the same.

What do you call a female Aggie who takes birth control pills? A humanitarian.

How do you know when you are near College Station? When you honk your horn, all the sheep back up to the fence.

Did you hear that Detroit was going to start putting the dimmer switch back on the floor in its new cars? The Aggies kept getting their foot caught in the steering wheel.

Just last week A&M announced the discontinuance of all driver's ed and sex education classes. The mule died, and there was just no money with which to replace her.