re: Would Mario Cristobal be an acceptable HC here?

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It may get him better results than you would anticipate. It's been shown through research that humans in large numbers, bouncing arguments back and forth among themselves, will consistently produce better outcomes than any expert you would ever pay to do the work individually. What happens is essentially a series of compromises on everyone's position until the group comes up with a position that is most equitable to all involved.

It's called the 21st century. Get used to computers and crowd sourcing ideas. They are being used to rebuild civilization.

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Civilization doesn’t need rebuilt, unless there has been some catastrophe I’m not aware of, and all we needed was a competent coach, regardless. The number of cooks in the stew is undoubtedly why we don’t have a good coach recruiting for us right now.