Birmingham's Dolester Miles wins James Beard award for best pastry chef in America

What the frick did you just fricking say about New Orleans, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class from LSU, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret gata hunts in the bayou, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in incest and I’m the top corndog eater in the section 302 of Tiger Stadium. You are nothing to me but just another shitposter. I will wipe you the frick out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fricking words. You think you can get away with saying that shite over the Internet? Think again, fricker. As we speak I am contacting Chicken and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fricking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Big Lee and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable arse off the face of the continent, you little shite. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fricking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shite fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fricking dead, kiddo.

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You’re fricking dead, kiddo.

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Get down with your bad corn dog eating self!

Holla holla dolla bill y'all!