re: The thing that makes Bert's heart smile

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This why Bret won't make it to the Big Show in the SEC

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You're right, him talking about a conference opponent is the reason he won't make it in the SEC. Flawless logic

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Bret needs to be worrying about UTEP, and Texas A&M right now, NOT Auburn.

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frick you're right! I'm sure he's completely forgotten about all of the other games and is completely unprepared for the UTEP opener, judging by an off-hand remark about Auburn after a fall camp practice.