re: Mizzou Self Help Thread

Exactly.

You gain nothing from grudges.

My dad lived his last 10 years in a way that I didn't approve. It was very uncharacteristic of how he raised us. He married a woman that, quite frankly, I felt was not good enough for him or our family. He began to drink (and I never remember him drinking when I was younger). And there were other bombshells. Nothing made sense.

It was incredibly confusing and embarrassing for us (his children). We stopped seeing him (except when we were forced to at Christmas), stopped returning his voicemails, and with each year we did our best to avoid him.

During that time, he never stopped loving us and never stopped making an effort to rekindle his relationship with us.

One day I was at the computer and began to think about him...about my great childhood with him. I realized it had been over 6 months since I last spoke to him and I began to realize that I had been rather harsh to a broken man...a man who clearly had a midlife crisis years ago that resulted in wasted opportunities and time.

I called him later that day because I wanted him to give me advice on a painting that I was working on as an engagement gift for my wife. I was having a color issue and I knew my dad could resolve the issue because he was a well known oil painter.

He didn't answer the phone. In fact, the number was no longer a working number. I had no idea how to contact him, and I desperately wanted to talk to him because I had privately forgiven him that day.

The next morning my mother called me at work to inform me that dad had unexpectedly died in his sleep the night before.

That moment was so profoundly sad that I cannot properly describe it.