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re: Tiger Tales: True Confessions, Brushes With Fame & Infamous Tiger Escapades!
Posted on 10/24/12 at 11:03 pm to SoCalMIZ
Posted on 10/24/12 at 11:03 pm to SoCalMIZ
My iPad is dying...
Anyway, it's strip tease night. Lets just say that college night in TJ is very spring break like. Unfortunately, for everyone there, SoCal did not get on the stage. Can we say international incident?
So, the night goes on, and I spy a Mexican cutie on the dance floor, that I am unable to ignore. Come hell or high water, I'm gonna talk to this girl. So, I shake my arse out on the dance floor, amaze her with my moves, and get her to come back over to my table, where we talk and amazingly hit it off! Kinda, no hablo ingles and no hablo espanol can create a bit of a communication problem, but we weather the storm and find some common ground. She is there with her sister and a friend named Maria, so one of my buddies joins me, and we follow her over to her table, where we are introduced to her sister, and a dude named Maria...
Anyway, it's strip tease night. Lets just say that college night in TJ is very spring break like. Unfortunately, for everyone there, SoCal did not get on the stage. Can we say international incident?
So, the night goes on, and I spy a Mexican cutie on the dance floor, that I am unable to ignore. Come hell or high water, I'm gonna talk to this girl. So, I shake my arse out on the dance floor, amaze her with my moves, and get her to come back over to my table, where we talk and amazingly hit it off! Kinda, no hablo ingles and no hablo espanol can create a bit of a communication problem, but we weather the storm and find some common ground. She is there with her sister and a friend named Maria, so one of my buddies joins me, and we follow her over to her table, where we are introduced to her sister, and a dude named Maria...
3
Posted on 10/24/12 at 11:09 pm to SoCalMIZ
Dude named Maria...interesante. 
Posted on 10/24/12 at 11:44 pm to SoCalMIZ
Amazingly, Maria, is the only name I remember from said evening. Anyway, as the night wore on, and more tequila was poured down our throats we decided that it was time to head back to the border, of course we had no car, so the two girls and Maria offer to give us a ride to the walk bridge so we can get back to SD. We're in.
Commence sexy back seat time...I suddenly find myself in the back of an SUV riding through the streets of Tijuana with a suddenly naked girl, quickly throwing down the seat, and literally trying to rip my clothes off. Yahtzee, but, pump the brakes, wtf? I sense something is amiss. I look up and see Maria, still in the back seat sitting on the remaining seat, lets just say he's enjoying the show. I remark, something similar to WTF IS THIS DUDE, OR MARIA OR WHATEVER HE IS DOING?
Some heated words are exchanged between Maria and the girl I'm with, and by now we are in a parking garage somewhere in TJ., and my buddy is busy with my girls sister. Maria yells something in Spanish and gets out of the SUV, by this time I'm fully aware that this a fricked up situation, and I suddenly realize why we were all told not to go to TJ. SoCal ain't down with butt rape, and my mood has quickly changed. By this time the girl I'm with is completely naked, and I have my shirt off. Does not matter to me, what should be go time has now become a scared a shriveled shell of "himself".
It's at that moment I look towards the front of the SUV and see sister and buddy getting real close with each other and Maria leaning into the drivers side window for a closer look. I decide this isn't happening and start yelling all sorts of shite to my buddy who looks over at Maria leaning in the window and promptly hits him/her square in the nose...
Commence sexy back seat time...I suddenly find myself in the back of an SUV riding through the streets of Tijuana with a suddenly naked girl, quickly throwing down the seat, and literally trying to rip my clothes off. Yahtzee, but, pump the brakes, wtf? I sense something is amiss. I look up and see Maria, still in the back seat sitting on the remaining seat, lets just say he's enjoying the show. I remark, something similar to WTF IS THIS DUDE, OR MARIA OR WHATEVER HE IS DOING?
Some heated words are exchanged between Maria and the girl I'm with, and by now we are in a parking garage somewhere in TJ., and my buddy is busy with my girls sister. Maria yells something in Spanish and gets out of the SUV, by this time I'm fully aware that this a fricked up situation, and I suddenly realize why we were all told not to go to TJ. SoCal ain't down with butt rape, and my mood has quickly changed. By this time the girl I'm with is completely naked, and I have my shirt off. Does not matter to me, what should be go time has now become a scared a shriveled shell of "himself".
It's at that moment I look towards the front of the SUV and see sister and buddy getting real close with each other and Maria leaning into the drivers side window for a closer look. I decide this isn't happening and start yelling all sorts of shite to my buddy who looks over at Maria leaning in the window and promptly hits him/her square in the nose...
Posted on 10/25/12 at 8:11 pm to SoCalMIZ
Ok, home from work, iPad at 100%. Where was I?
My buddy reached out the window and popped "Maria" square in the face, knocking him/her flat on its arse. Pants around ankles, causing me to erupt in laughter. Some loud words were exchanged in Spanish between the girl I was with and her sister, and the SUV was started up, and we peeled out of that parking garage, leaving Maria on the deck alone.
At this point we are speeding through the streets of TJ, trying to put on clothes and gather thoughts as to what was happening. Abruptly, we come to a screeching halt and are told to "Get the frick out" (in perfect English no less). So, my buddy and I jump out of the SUV still buckling up, the girl I was with pops out of the window and says, "Club A, Saturday Night at 8." My buddy and I look at each other and I say, " No, Maria?" No Maria, they agree. Ok, deal. The SUV starts up and my belt is tossed out the window, and they speed off.
My friend and I get our shite together, walk across the walk bridge, and hail a cab back to base. Not a word was aid in that cab until we got to the Coronado bridge, we looked at each other, and started cracking up at what happened. Maverick and Goose, headed back to the carrier. (Life was full of stupid Top Gun references back then.)
So, back to the boat and I climb into the rack for about 3 hours of sleep. In the Navy reveille is called at 6am everyday, and then we have quarters at 7. Quarters is basically everyone getting in formation in the hangar bay, doing a role call, and putting out the word of the day. While getting ready to get my. Triple S on (shite, Shower, Shave), I notice I'm getting lots of strange looks from others in the berthing. I shrug it off, mostly because I'm still kinda tipsy from the night before. Upon entry into the head, I turn to the mirror to swab my chompers, and I see what everyone was staring at. I have a neck that is covered in the most embarrassingly large hickeys know to man. I mean the size of apples. That chick really did a number on me. Now, I'm upset because I know there's an inspection today at quarters and there's no way I get through it with this shite all over my neck. I shrug it off and slug my way off to my impending doom.
Luckily for me, my Chief does nothing when she passes by me for inspection, later in the day she would tell me that she really wanted to laugh at me, and to put some toothpaste on them. Does that actually work? I never tried it.
Anyway, this was a Thursday, so I had two full days of people asking me what was up with my neck before I could get back down to TJ and finish what I started. Word moves quickly on a ship, so I got famous real fast. I was the guy with the TJ story. This actually turned out being a good thing as an acquaintance of mine was a Mexican dude from El Paso, he was well versed in the ways of Mexico, and offered to accompany me on my return trip to act as an interpreter so we could figure out what the hell was going on. Saturday arrives, and it's off to TJ...
My buddy reached out the window and popped "Maria" square in the face, knocking him/her flat on its arse. Pants around ankles, causing me to erupt in laughter. Some loud words were exchanged in Spanish between the girl I was with and her sister, and the SUV was started up, and we peeled out of that parking garage, leaving Maria on the deck alone.
At this point we are speeding through the streets of TJ, trying to put on clothes and gather thoughts as to what was happening. Abruptly, we come to a screeching halt and are told to "Get the frick out" (in perfect English no less). So, my buddy and I jump out of the SUV still buckling up, the girl I was with pops out of the window and says, "Club A, Saturday Night at 8." My buddy and I look at each other and I say, " No, Maria?" No Maria, they agree. Ok, deal. The SUV starts up and my belt is tossed out the window, and they speed off.
My friend and I get our shite together, walk across the walk bridge, and hail a cab back to base. Not a word was aid in that cab until we got to the Coronado bridge, we looked at each other, and started cracking up at what happened. Maverick and Goose, headed back to the carrier. (Life was full of stupid Top Gun references back then.)
So, back to the boat and I climb into the rack for about 3 hours of sleep. In the Navy reveille is called at 6am everyday, and then we have quarters at 7. Quarters is basically everyone getting in formation in the hangar bay, doing a role call, and putting out the word of the day. While getting ready to get my. Triple S on (shite, Shower, Shave), I notice I'm getting lots of strange looks from others in the berthing. I shrug it off, mostly because I'm still kinda tipsy from the night before. Upon entry into the head, I turn to the mirror to swab my chompers, and I see what everyone was staring at. I have a neck that is covered in the most embarrassingly large hickeys know to man. I mean the size of apples. That chick really did a number on me. Now, I'm upset because I know there's an inspection today at quarters and there's no way I get through it with this shite all over my neck. I shrug it off and slug my way off to my impending doom.
Luckily for me, my Chief does nothing when she passes by me for inspection, later in the day she would tell me that she really wanted to laugh at me, and to put some toothpaste on them. Does that actually work? I never tried it.
Anyway, this was a Thursday, so I had two full days of people asking me what was up with my neck before I could get back down to TJ and finish what I started. Word moves quickly on a ship, so I got famous real fast. I was the guy with the TJ story. This actually turned out being a good thing as an acquaintance of mine was a Mexican dude from El Paso, he was well versed in the ways of Mexico, and offered to accompany me on my return trip to act as an interpreter so we could figure out what the hell was going on. Saturday arrives, and it's off to TJ...
This post was edited on 10/25/12 at 8:14 pm
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