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re: So a hottie just moved in next door...

Posted on 9/28/15 at 11:33 am to
Posted by DownSouthJukin
Coaching Changes Board
Member since Jan 2014
27184 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 11:33 am to
Seriously-here's the best advice I can give without pics:

1. Go to your favorite porn site and get prepared. I'm sure you have plenty of options.

2. Take Sharpie marker, or similar non-toxic permanent marker, and draw a smiley face on the tip of your member. Other artwork is optional.

3. Go next door.

4. Bang on new girl's door with said member. Make sure after knocking that you aim it at the peephole so the first thing she sees is your smiling member when she looks outside. Use a deep voice to say something catchy like, "May I please use your restroom?" or, "Where's the hot piece of arse that lives here?"

5. Get ready for the sexy.
This post was edited on 9/28/15 at 11:37 am
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 11:34 am to
quote:

Yeah, banging the chick next door never goes wrong



Not true. It only goes wrong if you make it awkward.

This all depends on what the OP wants. Does the OP just want a chance to have sex with her, or is this a love at first site kind of thing?

I recommend you play it safe and just plan on a couple of dinners followed up by no strings attached sex. Keep it cool and casual. Don't be a dick. Just have fun. JUST HAVE FUN. That cannot be stressed enough. Be calm, cool, casual, and funny and you'll be in the panties in no time.

If you're good at what you do...and if you're good at sex...you'll be in control of what comes next, whether that means you move on to another chick or you move into a relationship with this one.

Honestly, this is all very easy. It's just that most guys overthink this situation and don't have the balls to be straight up honest with a woman about their intentions. Women respect men who know what they want and aren't scared to ask for it.

Simple things like:

1) Would you like to go to dinner sometime?

The answer will be yes or no. The word "maybe" is more than likely a no. Don't be scared of the word no. It doesn't mean you failed. It just means you can move to the next chick faster (However, if you're good you can turn a no into a yes, but that's a discussion for another time).

If dinner is successful, don't be afraid to move to:

2) Would you like to continue the evening at my place? For what it's worth, I'd like to get to know you more.

If a chick is willing to go to dinner with you, she's willing to have sex with you if you handled yourself like a champ at dinner. Dinner is usually where people screw up due to nerves and low confidence.

Once again, everything hinges on you being cool, calm, relaxed, and most importantly...funny.

If you cannot make a chick laugh, you have a difficult road ahead of you.

Laughter translates to sex. Plain and simple. It's the ultimate panty dropper.
This post was edited on 9/28/15 at 11:41 am
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 11:35 am to
quote:

I came here for advice to see if it's cool to date a neighbor or more trouble than it's worth.



Wow...you've already lost.

Bad thing is you don't understand why you've already lost. fricking shame.
Posted by Chazzy McRamzee
Member since Jun 2014
2681 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 11:42 am to
????????
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 11:43 am to
quote:

????????




Exactly.
Posted by Duke
Twin Lakes, CO
Member since Jan 2008
35606 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 11:44 am to
So much over thinking going on here.

Be a human being and just be friendly. Don't try to force conversation. If y'all have any chemistry it'll happen on its own. By that point, you'll know if you have a shot or not. You'll also know if she's worth your time either.
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 11:56 am to
quote:

So much over thinking going on here. Be a human being and just be friendly. Don't try to force conversation. If y'all have any chemistry it'll happen on its own. By that point, you'll know if you have a shot or not. You'll also know if she's worth your time either.



Exactly. I went into more detail because I thought Chazzy needed it, but apparently he doesn't appreciate solid advice even though he asked for it.

That's why Chazzy has already lost.

Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 11:57 am to
...Also, why the frick does it matter if the girl lives next to you? The people who are saying, "Don't do it, dude. Don't date your neighbor," are the people who are just like you: Unconfident, awkward, and lack experience.

Her being your neighbor shouldn't matter.

Poon is poon is poon...
This post was edited on 9/28/15 at 12:06 pm
Posted by GeeOH
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2013
13376 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 12:23 pm to
We need pics of her, dumbass. Throw in one of yourself so we can judge just how long of a long shot this really is.

Keep your place spotless! And keep your hygiene up.

Lets be honest, you have little to no shot at her, but at least control the variables.
Posted by Chazzy McRamzee
Member since Jun 2014
2681 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 12:37 pm to
Just PIIHB. Thanks for all the advice guys.
Posted by everytrueson
Los Angeles, CA
Member since Mar 2012
5890 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 12:39 pm to
I banged the girl next door for awhile when I was in college, so different era in my life but we just had a good understanding that if we didn't bring someone back that we settled with each other.

It was a good arrangement. She played softball for Mizzou (and no she wasn't some ox of a pitcher ha) She was a fleet footed outfielder.

OP, I agree with Killz women like a man who takes control. So be bold. Just asking can get you a long ways in life.
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 12:41 pm to
quote:

I agree with Killz women like a man who takes control. So be bold. Just asking can get you a long ways in life.



Yup.

The problem with most dude is that they're too afraid to simply ask for what they want, or they make it awkward. Being bold goes a long ways.

I know from personal experience.
Posted by Sneaky__Sally
Member since Jul 2015
12364 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 12:43 pm to
just rape and murder her then move on
Posted by BowlJackson
Birmingham, AL
Member since Sep 2013
52881 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 12:54 pm to
I've done extensive Internet research on this very subject and neighbor girls love to hook up. Congrats on the sex
Posted by Chazzy McRamzee
Member since Jun 2014
2681 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 12:59 pm to
quote:


I've done extensive Internet research on this very subject and neighbor girls love to hook up. Congrats on the sex


Thanks brah. I'm thinking friends then tequila.
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 1:00 pm to
quote:

I've done extensive Internet research on this very subject and neighbor girls love to hook up. Congrats on the sex



Except Chazzy won't experience it because he's too beta.
Posted by BowlJackson
Birmingham, AL
Member since Sep 2013
52881 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 1:14 pm to
Beta? You're giving him too much credit. That dude is gamma
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 1:18 pm to
Posted by Chazzy McRamzee
Member since Jun 2014
2681 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 1:21 pm to
quote:

Beta? You're giving him too much credit. That dude is gamma


LINK

Posted by BowlJackson
Birmingham, AL
Member since Sep 2013
52881 posts
Posted on 9/28/15 at 1:22 pm to
That's creepy as frick
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