Started By
Message
How to make soccer a watchable sport
Posted on 5/21/15 at 10:41 pm
Posted on 5/21/15 at 10:41 pm
1. Randomly planted Bouncing Bettie's on the pitch.
2. The ball will explode into a mushroom cloud with a 3 meter kill radius, every 38th kick.
3. The goalie is allowed a shotgun.
4. Limit the athletes to naked Itilian supermodels.
5. In the event of a tie after the 74th hour (or minute......I don't know, I've never watched that long), machetes for everyone on the field.
2. The ball will explode into a mushroom cloud with a 3 meter kill radius, every 38th kick.
3. The goalie is allowed a shotgun.
4. Limit the athletes to naked Itilian supermodels.
5. In the event of a tie after the 74th hour (or minute......I don't know, I've never watched that long), machetes for everyone on the field.
14
Posted on 5/21/15 at 11:07 pm to five_fivesix
Soccer is fine as is.
Posted on 5/21/15 at 11:09 pm to five_fivesix
How to make OP a tolerable human being.
1. OP kills himself
1. OP kills himself
Posted on 5/21/15 at 11:11 pm to five_fivesix
Soccer is a great sport. Every southern redneck who thinks soccer is "gay" or "un-American" is a mouth breather.
Posted on 5/21/15 at 11:17 pm to five_fivesix
Soccer is the greatest sport in the world.
Posted on 5/21/15 at 11:19 pm to Masterag
I caught four with the first cast.
That's gotta be a record.
That's gotta be a record.
Posted on 5/21/15 at 11:22 pm to five_fivesix
The fact that you called it a "pitch" made me skeptical.
Posted on 5/21/15 at 11:32 pm to Masterag
that was sincere. I've heard those Brit-Franco announcer fricks use that term.
But seriously, dear god what a boring sport to watch. A Field of Drama Queens, Embellishing for a Red Card, should be the name of sport.
But seriously, dear god what a boring sport to watch. A Field of Drama Queens, Embellishing for a Red Card, should be the name of sport.
Posted on 5/21/15 at 11:46 pm to five_fivesix
Let you & I shoot at the soccer ball with M855 5.56mm ball...
No M856, just to make it sporting.
No M856, just to make it sporting.
Posted on 5/21/15 at 11:47 pm to five_fivesix
Why do you want supermodels to get blown up? Are you a gay?
Posted on 5/21/15 at 11:50 pm to Sancho Panza
quote:
Let you & I shoot at the soccer ball with M855 5.56mm ball....
Posted on 5/21/15 at 11:51 pm to blue_morrison
No, no, no..... supermodels are exclusive of all pre and post mentioned suggestions.
Posted on 5/22/15 at 5:49 am to TeLeFaWx
quote:
Soccer is fine as is.
Posted on 5/22/15 at 6:07 am to five_fivesix
It's better than baseball, let's work on baseball first
Posted on 5/22/15 at 6:11 am to CheeseburgerEddie
Yea, lets work on Apple Pie while we are at it.
Posted on 5/22/15 at 6:37 am to CheeseburgerEddie
quote:
It's better than baseball, let's work on baseball first
Now that is an unwatchable sport.
Posted on 5/22/15 at 7:56 am to five_fivesix
quote:
4. Limit the athletes to naked Italian supermodels.
5. In the event of a tie after the 74th hour (or minute......I don't know, I've never watched that long), machetes for everyone on the field.
Posted on 5/22/15 at 8:32 am to five_fivesix
quote:
But seriously, dear god what a boring sport to watch. A Field of Drama Queens, Embellishing for a Red Card, should be the name of sport.
Not boring if you understand the sport. American football is 5 seconds of action and 30 seconds of ads and waiting.
Every sport has flopping. Find any sport where the pros aren't drama queens. It just so happens that in soccer, if you lose your head, you get thrown out of the game, not some silly 15 yard penalty.
Posted on 5/22/15 at 8:51 am to 5thTiger
quote:
Not boring if you understand the sport. American football is 5 seconds of action and 30 seconds of ads and waiting.
Every sport has flopping. Find any sport where the pros aren't drama queens. It just so happens that in soccer, if you lose your head, you get thrown out of the game, not some silly 15 yard penalty.
I understand the sport, and find it in the same 'meh' category as basketball. There is strategy involved, but soccer didn't get to be the most popular sport on earth because it's complex or has layers of strategy. Soccer is the most popular sport because its cheap to play. You need a ball. That's it. Everything else is quite optional. With a planet that has 9/10ths of the population in what Americans would consider abject poverty, that's pretty much the most important aspect.
The most complex sport for strategy is American football.
Posted on 5/22/15 at 8:52 am to five_fivesix
quote:
4. Limit the athletes to naked Itilian supermodels.
Page 1 of 3
Popular
Back to top
Follow SECRant for SEC Football News