re: Female Troubles

Trust issues now=misery later

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Only thing you can do is give her space and let her decide if she wants to come back. You fricked up and got caught, and it shook her trust. You can't talk your way back into her trust.

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Well I wasn't trying to hide anything though. If I was, I wouldn't have left it on there and I would have deleted history or whatever else you can do. Similar to a teenager hiding things from their parents. Anyhow, I am giving her space and I apologized in my letter for hurting her feelings and that I what I was doing was harmless because I was going to show her out of laughs.

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This isn't typical, at least not when you have your own significant other, and certainly not typical when that person is within earshot.

You sound pretty immature, and it sounds like she may have woken up one morning and decided that she wanted a little more maturity in her man. If you truly want her back, you may have to do some growing up.

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I admitted it was immature to do and I have not done anything like that since that one time because I understand it isn't something she deserves because she is my only focus in that nature. I agree that I need to mature more everyday but I am 25 and I don't make the same mistake twice. This was not something that was meant to be a perverted interest. This was for humor that I thought she would think was funny as well.

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That is tough.

I do feel for your situation.

My wife and I almost broke up right before our marriage because of something incredibly stupid I did. I wrote her a letter explaining that I knew it was stupid. I did not try to rationalize or justify it. I just apologized for what was obviously my fault and begged her forgiveness. I let her know how much she meant to me and that I would never give her a reason to doubt me again. Twenty years later and I am still trying to be the best husband I can be.

She already had her bags packed and left for awhile. All I can say is tell her (if she will not talk, take the time to actually write her). Do not make excuses, just tell her what she means to you and assure her you will change your behavior.

One caveat to this. A man's word is all he has. If you have any doubts about the grass being greener, do not commit.

I bet some of the female posters can give more perspective, but that is all I have.

I wish you the best of luck m8.

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Thanks.

My situation is similar. I put in the letter I sent to her that I apologize for making her feel betrayed than I tried justifying what happened and vindicating myself of wrong doing. I have never cheated, never wanted to, never thought about it, and am 100 percent committed and faithful to her.

I promise you if she didn't want out than something like this wouldn't end it. She would wait around waiting for answers, he'll, she'd try to convince herself you weren't cheating. But that's not what she's done. She doesn't think this is worth fighting for because to her it isn't. Go tag a couple pieces of arse, figure out how you feel about how things went down and try again.

PS, if you weren't secretly interested in seeing what's still out there on the market you wouldn't still have an account on dating sites to log into. I'm not an idiot. And regarding this detail, no one else here is either. Time to move on. Good luck, have fun.

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From a female perspective...

If you have never given her a reason to doubt you, be glad she spared you a lifetime of looking over your shoulder, paranoid snooping, never believing you and making you feel horrible for HER insecurities.

Maybe I'm an odd chick, but I don't get females like that. It would be a miserable way to live life always thinking your SO was stepping out or wanting to step out.

Sounds like she may have self-esteem issues that you may not even be aware of. Until she recognizes and fixes that about herself,nothing you do will ever abate her fear of you straying.

Hope it all works out for you, though, and y'all can move past this. Sounds like that's on her, though. Don't feel guilty about something that I, as a female, would have laughed with you at and not freaked out over.

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Thanks for the perspective.

I honestly can say that I feel bad for being on there. It was out of site out of mind and I did not think about the promiscuous side of things when looking at it. It was straight humor. I still feel bad about hurting her feelings by even being on the site. As small as it may seem to some people, I still respect the feelings of others who are more easily offended by it and I can understand that.

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Some of those things are funny as hell. I've seen some of the funnier ones posted on twitter and I can see why someone would scan them for a laugh and nothing more.

I am of the opinion that he would never have left evidence on there or his phone within her reach w/o his knowledge that she was looking at it if he had anything to hide.

That's just me, though.

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So you're sayin I can keep snap chat

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No offense, but you don't seem mature enough to be married at this point and that is possibly the perspective of your former fiance'. You have lost her trust with your behavior and once trust is lost it is almost impossible to regain. In short, it's probably best to move on, consider your behavior and your goals in life. Marriage might not be right for you at this stage in your life. It would be better to recognize this now rather than to move into a marriage that will never work. This is coming from someone who has been happily married for over 30 years.

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Understandable opinion based on what I gave you. I made those mistakes and those are literally some of the very few that I have made that can be classified as immature. I admit they were immature and I want to redeem myself and own what I did. But I want to own it with the understanding that my actions weren't in the light of infidelity. But in dumb humor and in friendly bro talk amongst my college buddy.

I will say that you are wrong. I am ready for marriage and everyone makes mistakes. I'm sure you have made some yourself that I haven't made. So in turn that would make you the one l, based off your theory, that shouldn't be married.

Good luck. Trust is the easiest thing to lose and the hardest thing to gain.

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I promise you if she didn't want out than something like this wouldn't end it. She would wait around waiting for answers, he'll, she'd try to convince herself you weren't cheating. But that's not what she's done. She doesn't think this is worth fighting for because to her it isn't. Go tag a couple pieces of arse, figure out how you feel about how things went down and try again.

PS, if you weren't secretly interested in seeing what's still out there on the market you wouldn't still have an account on dating sites to log into. I'm not an idiot. And regarding this detail, no one else here is either. Time to move on. Good luck, have fun.

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Well for starters, I would admit if I was on there and ask for different advice if I had been on there to cheat. So there's that. I don't have an account. If you must know it was a site where you can view profiles before an email sign up. So because I did not pay or give an email, I have no account. I believe one of the profiles that I found that was funny was "I'm a single mom, I want to continue to be a stay at home mom, come be my baby's daddy"