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re: "Dear Killz" Advice and Help Column
Posted on 3/20/13 at 1:01 pm to InVolNerable
Posted on 3/20/13 at 1:01 pm to InVolNerable
InVolNeRaptor
Semosexual, of course.
Just wait until the semosexuals start to demand their rights.
quote:
Semo, what does your name mean?
Semosexual, of course.
Just wait until the semosexuals start to demand their rights.
This post was edited on 3/20/13 at 1:03 pm
1
Posted on 3/20/13 at 1:06 pm to mizzoukills
quote:
Just wait until the semosexuals start to demand their rights
I don't have to "demand" anything, hun.
BTW - you missed a plea for Killz wisdom from a young Aggie poster.
Posted on 3/20/13 at 1:08 pm to semotruman
semotruman
No I didn't. I'm just waiting for that individual to respond to my post.
quote:
BTW - you missed a plea for Killz wisdom from a young Aggie poster
No I didn't. I'm just waiting for that individual to respond to my post.
This post was edited on 3/20/13 at 1:16 pm
Posted on 3/20/13 at 1:12 pm to mizzoukills
Oh, I didn't see where you'd responded to him.
Posted on 3/20/13 at 1:20 pm to semotruman
Come on, Semo. I've got this thread under control, hun.
However, I enjoy your help! Feel free to continue contributing advice...
Dr. Killz
However, I enjoy your help! Feel free to continue contributing advice...
Dr. Killz
Posted on 3/20/13 at 1:31 pm to semotruman
thanks semo. any advice on how i should go about talking it over with my friend
This post was edited on 3/20/13 at 1:32 pm
Posted on 3/20/13 at 1:31 pm to mizzoukills
i cant see your reponse. maybe im blind
Posted on 3/20/13 at 1:51 pm to WestCoastAg
WCA
Do you have feelings for your friend? Are you attracted to her?
quote:
i cant see your reponse. maybe im blind
Do you have feelings for your friend? Are you attracted to her?
This post was edited on 3/20/13 at 1:54 pm
Posted on 3/20/13 at 1:58 pm to WestCoastAg
I didn't see it either! So I'm blind too.
And as far as your friend goes...maybe just a hi, how are you text, and see how she responds to that. Start slow, so you don't give her the wrong impression, but make it clear that you miss her friendship and don't want her to feel awkward with you. It may not work, she may not be ready. But you don't want to burn bridges by starting to date someone without reaching out to her. At least if you try, you'll have done what you can and have nothing to feel guilty about.
And as far as your friend goes...maybe just a hi, how are you text, and see how she responds to that. Start slow, so you don't give her the wrong impression, but make it clear that you miss her friendship and don't want her to feel awkward with you. It may not work, she may not be ready. But you don't want to burn bridges by starting to date someone without reaching out to her. At least if you try, you'll have done what you can and have nothing to feel guilty about.
Posted on 3/20/13 at 2:04 pm to mizzoukills
its not whether or not im attracted to my friend, its just i cant see us being in an actual relationship if that makes any sense. whereas i do see that with this other girl
This post was edited on 3/20/13 at 2:05 pm
Posted on 3/20/13 at 2:06 pm to semotruman
ive been thinking about doing that for a while now but i just havent wanted to rush things without her being ready. should i just straight up tell her about this other girl?
Posted on 3/20/13 at 2:09 pm to WestCoastAg
WestCoastAg
Okay, I can assume by your statement that you're attracted to her. Maybe I'm wrong, but considering that you didn't directly answer the question, evasion usually means "yes" because it is incredibly easy to answer that question with a "no" response.
Why can't you see yourself in a relationship with the girl who has been your best friend since you were two years old?
Explain it to me...
quote:
its not whether or not im attracted to my friend, its just i cant see us being in an actual relationship if that makes any sense. whereas i do see that with this other girl
Okay, I can assume by your statement that you're attracted to her. Maybe I'm wrong, but considering that you didn't directly answer the question, evasion usually means "yes" because it is incredibly easy to answer that question with a "no" response.
Why can't you see yourself in a relationship with the girl who has been your best friend since you were two years old?
Explain it to me...
This post was edited on 3/20/13 at 2:12 pm
Posted on 3/20/13 at 2:20 pm to mizzoukills
because shes family to me. she is the sister that i have always wanted. thats how i have always viewed her and our relationship. i would have LOVED to be able to tell her i feel the same way that she does, but i dont
Posted on 3/20/13 at 2:26 pm to WestCoastAg
quote:
should i just straight up tell her about this other girl?
Do you know how this other girl feels about you? I don't think you want to just tell your friend "I've met this girl I have feelings for" this quickly unless you're sure she returns those feelings and you're going to be in a relationship.
Posted on 3/20/13 at 2:38 pm to semotruman
i have a pretty good idea. weve been talking/hanging out since around thanksgiving and im pretty sure she feels the same way. but i meant after the fact of asking this girl out. should i just straight tell her that there is this girl im interested in who i have already asked out and i dont see this as just a one night thing?
This post was edited on 3/20/13 at 2:39 pm
Posted on 3/20/13 at 2:40 pm to WestCoastAg
I understand. I'm just trying to figure out the situation.
Have you always viewed her as nothing mor than a sister, or has there been moments in time when you perhaps wanted more?
This is the last time I'll ask this type of question...
Have you always viewed her as nothing mor than a sister, or has there been moments in time when you perhaps wanted more?
This is the last time I'll ask this type of question...
This post was edited on 3/20/13 at 2:56 pm
Posted on 3/20/13 at 2:54 pm to mizzoukills
i have not. that is one of the main reasons why i dont view us as being able to have a relationship, because in the 18 years that she has been one of my two closest friends, i have never once thought about it
This post was edited on 3/20/13 at 2:55 pm
Posted on 3/20/13 at 2:57 pm to mizzoukills
Posted on 3/20/13 at 3:06 pm to WestCoastAg
quote:
WestCoastAg
If you just come out with it, and aren't sensitive about how you tell her, your friendship is done.
Question - you've been talking to this girl since November. Has your friend seen the two of you together? Could she already have a feeling something is brewing there, and maybe that's why she decided to tell you how she felt?
Posted on 3/20/13 at 3:18 pm to WestCoastAg
WCA,
I'm asking these questions because I'm trying to build a profile of your situation. What I do is try to place myself in your situation and then I brainstorm all of the possible ways that I would react in that situation.
Here is what I can tell you. Not much in life is better than being in a relationship with your best friend. The only thing better is marrying and having children with your best friend.
I'm incredibly fortunate that I've done both - married and had children with my best friend.
However, we were simply best friends first before we started dating.
Dating her was the best decision I've ever made, albeit extremely risky for our friendship.
_____________________________________
You just need to be honest with her. She's upset right now and feels embarrassed, humiliated, stupid, etc., and she's just taking it out on you at the moment.
She won't stop loving you as a friend unless you become shady or distant.
Without a doubt, honesty is the best policy if you want lasting relationships.
- Killz
I'm asking these questions because I'm trying to build a profile of your situation. What I do is try to place myself in your situation and then I brainstorm all of the possible ways that I would react in that situation.
Here is what I can tell you. Not much in life is better than being in a relationship with your best friend. The only thing better is marrying and having children with your best friend.
I'm incredibly fortunate that I've done both - married and had children with my best friend.
However, we were simply best friends first before we started dating.
Dating her was the best decision I've ever made, albeit extremely risky for our friendship.
_____________________________________
You just need to be honest with her. She's upset right now and feels embarrassed, humiliated, stupid, etc., and she's just taking it out on you at the moment.
She won't stop loving you as a friend unless you become shady or distant.
Without a doubt, honesty is the best policy if you want lasting relationships.
- Killz
This post was edited on 3/20/13 at 3:47 pm
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