re: I need your help paying for birth control....

Should be a non- issue as her "man" likely has castrate levels of testosterone from being exposed to her in excessive doses

If any issues remain she can send her future suitors or male colleagues my way so I can provide them (and society) a cost effective solution with a vasectomy. I would block out a Friday afternoon to accommodate em.

As far as breakfast logic goes:

The chicken is dedicated, but the pig is committed. Paradoxically, she is likely both and neither of these at the same time