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Posted on 10/1/15 at 9:02 am to DragginFly
While in high school the WH on Hartley Bridge Rd was our post drunk refuge. We tipped Regina, our waitress very well and she would put up with our drunken asses. Racing pickles down the window was our go to event.
Regina didn't show up for a few weeks. I asked where she was and I was told she got locked up for being the getaway driver for a bank robbery
Regina didn't show up for a few weeks. I asked where she was and I was told she got locked up for being the getaway driver for a bank robbery
Posted on 10/1/15 at 9:05 am to germandawg
quote:
I am not advocating a steady diet but who doesn't like the rich, smoky flavor of beef jerky?
...... 
Posted on 10/1/15 at 9:33 am to Chef Leppard
Do you frequent Henry's?
Posted on 10/1/15 at 9:52 am to Chef Leppard
Chef, if you ever find it in yourself to write a book, you could rival Barry Hannah or Harry Crews any god damned day of the year 
Posted on 10/1/15 at 9:53 am to tylerdurden24
quote:
Chef, if you ever find it in yourself to write a book,
I'd buy it regardless of the cost. Chef has funnier one liners that probably 90% of comedians today.
Posted on 10/1/15 at 9:59 am to WG_Dawg
quote:
Chef has funnier one liners that probably 90% of comedians today.
So did TybeeDawg. RIP.
Posted on 10/1/15 at 10:02 am to PortlyDawg
If anyone happened to have saved Tybee's old epics, I'd love to see them posted here. Dude could recount a fact or spin a yarn in his own way that very few could hope to duplicate.
Posted on 10/1/15 at 10:03 am to tylerdurden24
quote:
Tybee's old epics
I would ask Chef.
Posted on 10/1/15 at 10:36 am to tylerdurden24
thanks but my mental miscarriages only really works in this format , if then
besides, I could never devalue my tithes to the ghosts of ogDR
besides, I could never devalue my tithes to the ghosts of ogDR
Posted on 10/1/15 at 10:42 am to Chef Leppard
quote:
Ok so the waffle house I went in tonight is on Chastain Rd in kennesaw. dead center of KSU and its army of suburban jackass kids.
My neck of the woods. Haven't been there in a while, but I remeber that being a solid Waffle House.
Posted on 10/1/15 at 11:07 am to RedPants
Its exactly what its supposed to be for sure. But as I said, the steak, like warren zevons hair..was perfect
Posted on 10/1/15 at 11:10 am to Chef Leppard
Although I wasn't there long the chain link fence story on the old Dawg Rant. I was entertained by that one.....
Posted on 10/1/15 at 11:19 am to Chef Leppard
quote:
Chef Leppard
quote:
germandawg
Thank you...I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. The stress from work just released its devilish grip at least for a moment. You guys are why I keep coming back.
You guys are the irreverent and socially inappropriate Abbott and Costello!
Holy Shiite you guys deserve a medal!
This post was edited on 10/1/15 at 11:26 am
Posted on 10/1/15 at 2:59 pm to Chef Leppard
Have you considered writing? Your writing reminds me of a less gay, more fricked up version of a David Sedaris short story.
Posted on 10/2/15 at 12:43 pm to TrackDawg
quote:
Regina didn't show up for a few weeks. I asked where she was and I was told she got locked up for being the getaway driver for a bank robbery
This is why I will always love the South.
Posted on 10/2/15 at 8:55 pm to tylerdurden24
alright then.last week ex-zilla told me i had to exercise my prenatal duties and adress some disciple problems with my son at his skool or she was puttin the dogs on me..being cynophobic naturally i comitted..
this would be a multi-bird stoning effort.i had been looking for a reason for a few months to head back and see this senorita i had met right before i moved back home.she was a dead on eva longoria.well except for being a good bit taller.and maybe lighter brown hair.definitely a bigger rack..alright so she was mexican..but she had been poppin up at all my hangouts.like a sexy whack a mole that needed to be popped on the head.she had been pretty elusive up till i left.i knew there was a prize in that box.fiance would just half to get therapy for it..
so i called ahead and everything sounded beneficial.lets make it happen.i moseyed into the upstate late monday afternoon..gettin thru columbia was like walkin thru pnut butter in flip flops but i prevailed.made time to push thru woofruff on the way in to see a man bout a mule.wont give a sundry list for the sake of the kids,but we'll say i was intent on creating that timeless dirty dancing scene.except instead of a log there was narcotics,and i hoped cramp inducing fricking would take the place of ballet.for this reason i picked up some magic dick pills.like a romantic geico policy.no rolling stone left unturned..
about the girl.she had not long before we met moved up from san antonio.probly had to blow a half dozen minutemen to get there.which is fine.i call that moxy.she had a sister there and moved to easley to work at the kayak factory.i hoped instantly she had citizenship issues
fast forward.the night was a ravishing success.i sung talking heads on karaoke.she ate like 5 bowls of salsa and i tried not to contemplate her colorectal health..i was fubar'd as frick by the time i called for the national deficit size check and wondered how torn she was.then she argued with me for 15 minutes about which truck was mine.cash money baby.she'd be unfurling her fajita in short order.i drove home like tron..
so,circus shite withdrawn,it was a remarkable night.may have gotten the neighbor pregnant.its quite the fog.what i do know is when i recognized the tortured rite-aid alarm clock it read 9:47am..whoa frick.the conference was at 10..undelay..pissed in the sink while i was brushing teeth,jumped in jeans and a tshirt and busted out the door.with no regard for ticketry,i made it to the skool in like 4 dry heaves.i would not let my son down.we would rectify his business today.and keep the canines off me
it was as i pulling into the learning center that i noticed something awry.i was packin a 5000psi yard on.i mean like a steak knife.holy frick..whats a dad to do.so i bounced out the truck and got to relocating my stiff business.the thigh tuck wouldnt work.too rigid..after several shifts i ended up just going flag pole and crammin it up behind my trusty bocephus belt buckle under my shirt.the cap was purple and looked like it was about to split apart like a dutch toy but it was veiled and had to do..
well as i hit the door you can imagine what transpired nest.yeah.the class bell rang.it was 10oclock.the oily levy broke and within seconds the hall was rife with beibers and cyrus's.and i had no idea where i was goin.numerous tots got the elbow.i was feverish..it was then that time froze.i glanced over into a mirrorish trophy case.wow..here i stand.eyes traffic cone red.hair like amber waves of unkempt dead grass.a dirty hooters shirt cloaking what only i knew to be a cylindrical piece of mahogany.ive had better mornings..
well,i found a rental cop that ushered me tardily to my son and a pissy guidance counselor that looked like carla off cheers.my son seemed relieved.but not really..short story short we put together an action plan.i had snatched him from the jaws of academic execution.and it felt good.then they let me sign him out early and we had sushi on the way to his moms.what seemed at times like a disastrous attempt turned into a magical bonding affair..so never look at one gift horse in the hand.miracles come in large packages sometimes..
this would be a multi-bird stoning effort.i had been looking for a reason for a few months to head back and see this senorita i had met right before i moved back home.she was a dead on eva longoria.well except for being a good bit taller.and maybe lighter brown hair.definitely a bigger rack..alright so she was mexican..but she had been poppin up at all my hangouts.like a sexy whack a mole that needed to be popped on the head.she had been pretty elusive up till i left.i knew there was a prize in that box.fiance would just half to get therapy for it..
so i called ahead and everything sounded beneficial.lets make it happen.i moseyed into the upstate late monday afternoon..gettin thru columbia was like walkin thru pnut butter in flip flops but i prevailed.made time to push thru woofruff on the way in to see a man bout a mule.wont give a sundry list for the sake of the kids,but we'll say i was intent on creating that timeless dirty dancing scene.except instead of a log there was narcotics,and i hoped cramp inducing fricking would take the place of ballet.for this reason i picked up some magic dick pills.like a romantic geico policy.no rolling stone left unturned..
about the girl.she had not long before we met moved up from san antonio.probly had to blow a half dozen minutemen to get there.which is fine.i call that moxy.she had a sister there and moved to easley to work at the kayak factory.i hoped instantly she had citizenship issues
fast forward.the night was a ravishing success.i sung talking heads on karaoke.she ate like 5 bowls of salsa and i tried not to contemplate her colorectal health..i was fubar'd as frick by the time i called for the national deficit size check and wondered how torn she was.then she argued with me for 15 minutes about which truck was mine.cash money baby.she'd be unfurling her fajita in short order.i drove home like tron..
so,circus shite withdrawn,it was a remarkable night.may have gotten the neighbor pregnant.its quite the fog.what i do know is when i recognized the tortured rite-aid alarm clock it read 9:47am..whoa frick.the conference was at 10..undelay..pissed in the sink while i was brushing teeth,jumped in jeans and a tshirt and busted out the door.with no regard for ticketry,i made it to the skool in like 4 dry heaves.i would not let my son down.we would rectify his business today.and keep the canines off me
it was as i pulling into the learning center that i noticed something awry.i was packin a 5000psi yard on.i mean like a steak knife.holy frick..whats a dad to do.so i bounced out the truck and got to relocating my stiff business.the thigh tuck wouldnt work.too rigid..after several shifts i ended up just going flag pole and crammin it up behind my trusty bocephus belt buckle under my shirt.the cap was purple and looked like it was about to split apart like a dutch toy but it was veiled and had to do..
well as i hit the door you can imagine what transpired nest.yeah.the class bell rang.it was 10oclock.the oily levy broke and within seconds the hall was rife with beibers and cyrus's.and i had no idea where i was goin.numerous tots got the elbow.i was feverish..it was then that time froze.i glanced over into a mirrorish trophy case.wow..here i stand.eyes traffic cone red.hair like amber waves of unkempt dead grass.a dirty hooters shirt cloaking what only i knew to be a cylindrical piece of mahogany.ive had better mornings..
well,i found a rental cop that ushered me tardily to my son and a pissy guidance counselor that looked like carla off cheers.my son seemed relieved.but not really..short story short we put together an action plan.i had snatched him from the jaws of academic execution.and it felt good.then they let me sign him out early and we had sushi on the way to his moms.what seemed at times like a disastrous attempt turned into a magical bonding affair..so never look at one gift horse in the hand.miracles come in large packages sometimes..
Posted on 10/2/15 at 9:31 pm to djsdawg
The black squares are where the servers are supposed to stand an call in the order.
Posted on 10/3/15 at 12:56 am to Commit2theG
My favorite WH story happened about 12 years ago at a store in Chattanooga off of I-75 at about 2am.
My friend and I went to Neyland for the UGA/UT game. We took his soon to be Norfolk Southern retired Engineer dad on the trip. We got into Knoxville around 2pm for the 7pm KO. Went hard all day drinking at Calhouns and at tailgates. He hung great but the old bear grew very irritable by midnight when we were still trying to get out of traffic.
We had planned to drive back to Atlanta but all agreed to hell with that ..... Big G ( his dad) is going to come unhinged if we don't get him a bed at a hotel. Stopped at just about every exit outside of Knoxville and 50 miles South but all were full. The old man was losing his patience but there was nothing we could do to ease his frustration. I was driving and asked if getting some food would help. "Bed. I need a fricking bed Mac" was his reply. We drove until we got to Chattanooga area when he finally said "just find me a WH so I can eat something."
Walked in and it was us and about 3 tables full of college aged students. They were all sitting in 3 booths back to back down the side. They were being loud and obnoxious as hell. Meanwhile, I don't think a word was uttered at our table. Big G just sat there with his head rested in his hands. After about five minutes, he broke our tables silence with as sudden of an angry outburst as I have ever seen. It even startled the shite out of me.
He raised his fist above his head and brought it crashing down on our table so hard that it bounced all the silverware into the air. His other arm scraped all the menus off the table onto the floor. A second later, he yelled across the restaurant " I want quiet and I want it NOW!" I had never seen his dad in this state of mind. I knew he grew irritable when he was sacked out but all the times I saw him like that in the past he always had a bed to ease his burden.
Anyway, after he did that, you could not hear anything but the sizzle of the food on the grill and a few whispers from the other tables. It was dead quiet where it had been loud as hell a minute before. Even our waitress was talking to the cook in whispers. I still laugh at how quiet that place got after he reached his wits end. He fell asleep within 5 minutes of us getting back on the road.
My friend and I went to Neyland for the UGA/UT game. We took his soon to be Norfolk Southern retired Engineer dad on the trip. We got into Knoxville around 2pm for the 7pm KO. Went hard all day drinking at Calhouns and at tailgates. He hung great but the old bear grew very irritable by midnight when we were still trying to get out of traffic.
We had planned to drive back to Atlanta but all agreed to hell with that ..... Big G ( his dad) is going to come unhinged if we don't get him a bed at a hotel. Stopped at just about every exit outside of Knoxville and 50 miles South but all were full. The old man was losing his patience but there was nothing we could do to ease his frustration. I was driving and asked if getting some food would help. "Bed. I need a fricking bed Mac" was his reply. We drove until we got to Chattanooga area when he finally said "just find me a WH so I can eat something."
Walked in and it was us and about 3 tables full of college aged students. They were all sitting in 3 booths back to back down the side. They were being loud and obnoxious as hell. Meanwhile, I don't think a word was uttered at our table. Big G just sat there with his head rested in his hands. After about five minutes, he broke our tables silence with as sudden of an angry outburst as I have ever seen. It even startled the shite out of me.
He raised his fist above his head and brought it crashing down on our table so hard that it bounced all the silverware into the air. His other arm scraped all the menus off the table onto the floor. A second later, he yelled across the restaurant " I want quiet and I want it NOW!" I had never seen his dad in this state of mind. I knew he grew irritable when he was sacked out but all the times I saw him like that in the past he always had a bed to ease his burden.
Anyway, after he did that, you could not hear anything but the sizzle of the food on the grill and a few whispers from the other tables. It was dead quiet where it had been loud as hell a minute before. Even our waitress was talking to the cook in whispers. I still laugh at how quiet that place got after he reached his wits end. He fell asleep within 5 minutes of us getting back on the road.
Posted on 10/3/15 at 1:07 am to nuwaydawg
quote:
alright then.last week ex-zilla told me i had to exercise my prenatal duties and adress some disciple problems with my son at his skool or she was puttin the dogs on me..being cynophobic naturally i comitted..
this would be a multi-bird stoning effort.i had been looking for a reason for a few months to head back and see this senorita i had met right before i moved back home.she was a dead on eva longoria.well except for being a good bit taller.and maybe lighter brown hair.definitely a bigger rack..alright so she was mexican..but she had been poppin up at all my hangouts.like a sexy whack a mole that needed to be popped on the head.she had been pretty elusive up till i left.i knew there was a prize in that box.fiance would just half to get therapy for it..
so i called ahead and everything sounded beneficial.lets make it happen.i moseyed into the upstate late monday afternoon..gettin thru columbia was like walkin thru pnut butter in flip flops but i prevailed.made time to push thru woofruff on the way in to see a man bout a mule.wont give a sundry list for the sake of the kids,but we'll say i was intent on creating that timeless dirty dancing scene.except instead of a log there was narcotics,and i hoped cramp inducing fricking would take the place of ballet.for this reason i picked up some magic dick pills.like a romantic geico policy.no rolling stone left unturned..
about the girl.she had not long before we met moved up from san antonio.probly had to blow a half dozen minutemen to get there.which is fine.i call that moxy.she had a sister there and moved to easley to work at the kayak factory.i hoped instantly she had citizenship issues
fast forward.the night was a ravishing success.i sung talking heads on karaoke.she ate like 5 bowls of salsa and i tried not to contemplate her colorectal health..i was fubar'd as frick by the time i called for the national deficit size check and wondered how torn she was.then she argued with me for 15 minutes about which truck was mine.cash money baby.she'd be unfurling her fajita in short order.i drove home like tron..
so,circus shite withdrawn,it was a remarkable night.may have gotten the neighbor pregnant.its quite the fog.what i do know is when i recognized the tortured rite-aid alarm clock it read 9:47am..whoa frick.the conference was at 10..undelay..pissed in the sink while i was brushing teeth,jumped in jeans and a tshirt and busted out the door.with no regard for ticketry,i made it to the skool in like 4 dry heaves.i would not let my son down.we would rectify his business today.and keep the canines off me
it was as i pulling into the learning center that i noticed something awry.i was packin a 5000psi yard on.i mean like a steak knife.holy frick..whats a dad to do.so i bounced out the truck and got to relocating my stiff business.the thigh tuck wouldnt work.too rigid..after several shifts i ended up just going flag pole and crammin it up behind my trusty bocephus belt buckle under my shirt.the cap was purple and looked like it was about to split apart like a dutch toy but it was veiled and had to do..
well as i hit the door you can imagine what transpired nest.yeah.the class bell rang.it was 10oclock.the oily levy broke and within seconds the hall was rife with beibers and cyrus's.and i had no idea where i was goin.numerous tots got the elbow.i was feverish..it was then that time froze.i glanced over into a mirrorish trophy case.wow..here i stand.eyes traffic cone red.hair like amber waves of unkempt dead grass.a dirty hooters shirt cloaking what only i knew to be a cylindrical piece of mahogany.ive had better mornings..
well,i found a rental cop that ushered me tardily to my son and a pissy guidance counselor that looked like carla off cheers.my son seemed relieved.but not really..short story short we put together an action plan.i had snatched him from the jaws of academic execution.and it felt good.then they let me sign him out early and we had sushi on the way to his moms.what seemed at times like a disastrous attempt turned into a magical bonding affair..so never look at one gift horse in the hand.miracles come in large packages sometimes..
Flowery snark adjectives, low substance..........
Anybody else noticing a trend?
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