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Waffle house. just...how
Posted on 9/30/15 at 9:24 pm
Posted on 9/30/15 at 9:24 pm
..are they able to replicate every greasy detail of southern skid culture thousands of times over across the country. and where the hell is our norman rockwell to depict this magnificent shithole
Ok so the waffle house I went in tonight is on Chastain Rd in kennesaw. dead center of KSU and its army of suburban jackass kids. we're not talking some random exit on i-16
So of course approaching the door I pass a big pasty 330lb white girl sitting on the curb. staring at her phone with big gelatinous tears rolling down her face. Nothing to see here. she looks about 23. why is she always here? Does mom work here? did she have a friend drop her off thinking she could get the keys to the cavalier? Did Jamaal slap the shite out of her for ordering $34 worth of breakfast and leave her? Who the frick knows
I go in and sit down and get the same waitress I've gotten since I was 4 yrs old. Approximately 56 yrs old, long pall mall teeth that could grind up a urinal cake in seconds, Flo-like clown cosmetics, and a crusty gang bang twinkle in her eye. Theres only 3 other people in here so every time she walks past one of the other waitresses they whisper some hysterical inside joke and cackle so loud they scare the roaches
She pulls her pen out her bra , calls me sugar, and takes my order. I haven't eaten all day so I go big. Steak and eggs, over easy, white toast, double hashbrowns, smothered peppered diced and capped
Here is where it gets amazing. She brings my food, and of course my hashbrowns dont have a fricking thing on them. I just stare at them a second before she snatches them up apologizing like I caught her licking my plate. She scurries around and drags the hashbrowns through the kitchen, they come back perfect. Ok, about this steak. this god damn culinary enigma. When they ask how you want it you almost laugh every time like why bother. But the jokes on you. I always say medium. what they present you with is an 1/8th inch thick sirloin that you could run a shoelace through and make a sperry topsider. BUT, you cut into it and some fricking how there's a 1/32nd inch of pink center to it. HOW? a thousand french chefs couldnt duplicate this marvel and some black guy thats only been crafting waffles and steaks since circuit city shut down does 100 a night. Its incredible
My bill was $14. I tipped her $5. Mainly because I just had the most southern experience imaginable besides falling out the back of a truck. And somehow, somebody probably just experienced the exact same shite at a waffle house in Seattle
Ok so the waffle house I went in tonight is on Chastain Rd in kennesaw. dead center of KSU and its army of suburban jackass kids. we're not talking some random exit on i-16
So of course approaching the door I pass a big pasty 330lb white girl sitting on the curb. staring at her phone with big gelatinous tears rolling down her face. Nothing to see here. she looks about 23. why is she always here? Does mom work here? did she have a friend drop her off thinking she could get the keys to the cavalier? Did Jamaal slap the shite out of her for ordering $34 worth of breakfast and leave her? Who the frick knows
I go in and sit down and get the same waitress I've gotten since I was 4 yrs old. Approximately 56 yrs old, long pall mall teeth that could grind up a urinal cake in seconds, Flo-like clown cosmetics, and a crusty gang bang twinkle in her eye. Theres only 3 other people in here so every time she walks past one of the other waitresses they whisper some hysterical inside joke and cackle so loud they scare the roaches
She pulls her pen out her bra , calls me sugar, and takes my order. I haven't eaten all day so I go big. Steak and eggs, over easy, white toast, double hashbrowns, smothered peppered diced and capped
Here is where it gets amazing. She brings my food, and of course my hashbrowns dont have a fricking thing on them. I just stare at them a second before she snatches them up apologizing like I caught her licking my plate. She scurries around and drags the hashbrowns through the kitchen, they come back perfect. Ok, about this steak. this god damn culinary enigma. When they ask how you want it you almost laugh every time like why bother. But the jokes on you. I always say medium. what they present you with is an 1/8th inch thick sirloin that you could run a shoelace through and make a sperry topsider. BUT, you cut into it and some fricking how there's a 1/32nd inch of pink center to it. HOW? a thousand french chefs couldnt duplicate this marvel and some black guy thats only been crafting waffles and steaks since circuit city shut down does 100 a night. Its incredible
My bill was $14. I tipped her $5. Mainly because I just had the most southern experience imaginable besides falling out the back of a truck. And somehow, somebody probably just experienced the exact same shite at a waffle house in Seattle
10
Posted on 9/30/15 at 9:28 pm to Chef Leppard
When I drove back to Camp Pendleton I made sure to stop in Tucson for the night so I could get WH. I planned it out so I could go as far west (on I-10) as I could and still get my All-Star.
When WG visited a while back, I finally had drunk Waffle House for the first time in years. I had my hash browns topped and tripled. I felt like shite the next morning.
When WG visited a while back, I finally had drunk Waffle House for the first time in years. I had my hash browns topped and tripled. I felt like shite the next morning.
This post was edited on 9/30/15 at 9:30 pm
Posted on 9/30/15 at 9:34 pm to LewDawg
The steak thing is true. Well done.
Posted on 9/30/15 at 9:42 pm to Chef Leppard
quote:
BUT, you cut into it and some fricking how there's a 1/32nd inch of pink center to it. HOW? a thousand french chefs couldnt duplicate this marvel and some black guy thats only been crafting waffles and steaks since circuit city shut down does 100 a night. Its incredible
So freaking true. It really is one of the 7 wonders of the south.
Posted on 9/30/15 at 9:43 pm to LewDawg
The ONLY waffle house ive ever been in that broke the mold of having a gang of Mel's rejects for waitresses was in warner robbins. And this was years ago. there was a bunch of young decent looking chicks working there. I was 19, working on the road, and insane. My roommate and I both fricked one of them. this happened a few weeks before we swiped the keys to the dump truck one night drunk and cruised the ghetto looking for coke. we got fired and had to take the bus home
Posted on 9/30/15 at 9:46 pm to Peter Buck
you ain't a true waffle houser until you know why there are two and only two black tiles behind the counter.
Posted on 9/30/15 at 9:53 pm to Chef Leppard
Now you got me craving a dbl Texas cheese steak dbl hash browns smothered , covered and chunked
Posted on 9/30/15 at 10:02 pm to Chef Leppard
That was a great fricking post. Wow. Well done
Posted on 9/30/15 at 10:26 pm to Chef Leppard
Soph year the power went out one Saturday around 4:00 am at the Waffle House at five points during a crazy storm. The cook and waitress were gf and bf and playing cards under the security light. We convinced them to let us cook our own breakfast since there wasn't a chance in hell anybody was coming in. I made one hell of an omelette and the largest stack of browns you have ever seen. Glorious night.
My friend decided to eat what was left of the Bert's chili and shat himself all Sunday.
My friend decided to eat what was left of the Bert's chili and shat himself all Sunday.
Posted on 9/30/15 at 10:38 pm to hangingdawg
quote:
you ain't a true waffle houser until you know why there are two and only two black tiles behind the counter.
That's right
Posted on 9/30/15 at 10:53 pm to Chef Leppard
quote:
I haven't eaten all day so I go big. Steak and eggs, over easy, white toast, double hashbrowns, smothered peppered diced and capped
quote:
a big pasty 330lb white girl sitting on the curb. staring at her phone with big gelatinous tears rolling down her face.
Why didn't you order anything for your wife?
Posted on 9/30/15 at 11:10 pm to Chef Leppard
I thought this thread was going to be about fighting.
Posted on 9/30/15 at 11:14 pm to Wild Thang
Steak thing is spot on.
Terrible steak but it is pink inside
There is at least 1 Waffle House with pretty much all teen blondes and one 30-40 blonde cook I would nail over all the late teen to early 20 blondes. If you know where it is, you will find me on occasion. It is like the most unusual WH and it is a find.
FWIW, over easy at WH is more like OM anywhere else. I like my whites firm but my orange runny. at WH that is OM.
Terrible steak but it is pink inside
There is at least 1 Waffle House with pretty much all teen blondes and one 30-40 blonde cook I would nail over all the late teen to early 20 blondes. If you know where it is, you will find me on occasion. It is like the most unusual WH and it is a find.
FWIW, over easy at WH is more like OM anywhere else. I like my whites firm but my orange runny. at WH that is OM.
Posted on 9/30/15 at 11:16 pm to hangingdawg
quote:
Waffle house. just...how you ain't a true waffle houser until you know why there are two and only two black tiles behind the counter.
You ain't a true waffle houser if you ain't never fricked the old waitress or the 330 pound chick crying on the curb.......This is the problem with radical Islam.....they dream of a pile of virgins in the after life when what a man needs to be truly happy is a 35 year old waffle hous waitress. There ain't nothing in bed she ain't tried and will try again with the right amount of persuasion and the piece de resistance? After ole gal has drained you of all of your precious bodily fluids she can cook an omelet and some killer hash browns with a amrlboro red dangling from her lip.....if that don't make a man fall in live it ain't in him......
Posted on 9/30/15 at 11:32 pm to germandawg
Im capable of some depraved acts depending on my level of narco oblivion. God bless em, but there's a few I will cull. One is the morbidly obese day walker with back acne and four interracial teet suckers at home. Another would be a mid 50s chain smoking waitress with labia the color of beef jerky, a rolling stone tattoo on her titty, and a mole on her neck with a hair growing through it. Ill fly a plane into a building if thats all thats left
Posted on 10/1/15 at 1:31 am to Chef Leppard
quote:
One is the morbidly obese day walker with back acne and four interracial teet suckers at home. Another would be a mid 50s chain smoking waitress with labia the color of beef jerky, a rolling stone tattoo on her titty, and a mole on her neck with a hair growing through it.
It's like reading gotdamn Shakespeare. ...a twisted tweaker Shakespeare but a classic none the less. Bravo.....Bravo!!!!
Posted on 10/1/15 at 2:33 am to hangingdawg
quote:
you ain't a true waffle houser until you know why there are two and only two black tiles behind the counter.
I need the truth so I can finally become a true waffle houser.
Posted on 10/1/15 at 5:43 am to LewDawg
quote:
When WG visited a while back, I finally had drunk Waffle House for the first time in years. I had my hash browns topped and tripled. I felt like shite the next morning.
Yeah chili was a bad suggestion
Posted on 10/1/15 at 5:59 am to WG_Dawg
Not my best moment
Posted on 10/1/15 at 6:03 am to Chef Leppard
quote:
Im capable of some depraved acts depending on my level of narco oblivion. God bless em, but there's a few I will cull. One is the morbidly obese day walker with back acne and four interracial teet suckers at home. Another would be a mid 50s chain smoking waitress with labia the color of beef jerky, a rolling stone tattoo on her titty, and a mole on her neck with a hair growing through it. Ill fly a plane into a building if thats all thats left
I am not advocating a steady diet but who doesn't like the rich, smoky flavor of beef jerky?
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