re: Why on earth do people here say Bert instead of Bret ?

It started with Wisconsin fans, and they certainly use it derisively. But many Arkansas fans have begun to use it as a term of endearment. You see...


Bert is a caricature. Half man, half myth. Not so much Paul Bunyan as his blue ox Babe. At the end of the 7th day when God looked down on his creation and wasn't quite satisfied, he pulled a cheese curd from the side of Bill Brasky and gave the Earth Bert. Bert walks on water, because let's be honest, he probably cannot swim. He is king of all he surveys, as long as he surveys to the north and west. Son of a pig farmer. Disciple of a man who painted a visiting locker room pink. Spouse of a woman so far beyond what a man of his grotesque appearance should be able to nab that it boggles the mind. There is far too much vodka, testosterone, and Taco Bell coursing through that white oak bourbon cask of a physique to quibble with names. He is Bert.

And dammit, I love Bert.

Because

fat











plus

*burp*

quote:

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There is far too much vodka, testosterone, and Taco Bell coursing through that white oak bourbon cask of a physique to quibble with names.

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That's weird. I completely forgot his name was actually Bret until I read this.

Who the frick is Bret?

He fert

"Bret" sounds like someone who is fit and handsome. "Bert" sounds like someone who stole your jelly doughnut.

Because why should we know his name? He's hasnt won an sec game

They call him Bert because this is the Internet, where all participants are given license to behave like middle school refugees from Lord of the Flies.

We are required to give condescending nicknames, to behave rudely and to generally display as much anti-social behavior as possible.

All efforts to engage in reasoned or in-depth analysis are also prohibited. As such, any post longer than two sentences must be derided as a "novel" and otherwise ignored.

There was a memo.

Bret sounds athletic

Bert sounds buffetic