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re: woman questions
Posted on 6/20/16 at 10:32 pm to asphinctersayswhat
Posted on 6/20/16 at 10:32 pm to asphinctersayswhat
quote:
Well, we have hung out since this all started but the communication in text form has slowed.
Well then, I guess just back off a little bit and see what happens. But don't bring it up again, let her be the one to initiate the beyond "just friends" conversation. You need to make yourself less readily available to her. Right now, she knows she could have you if she wanted, any time she wants, that's a problem.
She's also vulnerable and defensive from her ordeal with her divorce, and women in this state of mind usually are trying to find a guy they feel "safe with", to always have a their beckon call without having to give up the pussy. Don't be that guy.
2
Posted on 6/20/16 at 10:41 pm to PrivatePublic
quote:
What was the delta T from when you first told her you liked her, she said not now, and then you pushed again?
If it's anything greater than a few months, you've been friend zoned or she is banging a mutual friend. O
Just a few weeks. Knowing this girl, she isn't the type to be sleeping around.
Posted on 6/20/16 at 11:30 pm to asphinctersayswhat
Havent read the thread so this has probably been said but you have to make her chase you at this point. If she doesn't, then you just have to let it go.
You already put it on the line. Make her do it now.
You already put it on the line. Make her do it now.
This post was edited on 6/20/16 at 11:31 pm
Posted on 6/20/16 at 11:53 pm to asphinctersayswhat
Give her some time and space. Ask her if she knows any chicks you can frick while she's getting over her issues.
Posted on 6/20/16 at 11:57 pm to asphinctersayswhat
Friend zoned
Posted on 6/21/16 at 2:22 am to asphinctersayswhat
quote:
I felt like there was a mutual attraction there so I pushed a little harder.
What exactly do you mean by "pushed a little harder"?
Posted on 6/21/16 at 5:05 am to MykTide
quote:
Show interest in another woman. Works like a charm.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Don't end the friendship, but back off a little yourself and go after another girl. If your biking buddy has any interest at all, she will show it then.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 6:45 am to BamaChick
quote:
What exactly do you mean by "pushed a little harder"?
I tried to create situations for us to hang out more rather than just go with the flow. She picked up on it and has backed off a bit.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 8:05 am to asphinctersayswhat
quote:
I tried to create situations for us to hang out more rather than just go with the flow. She picked up on it and has backed off a bit.
You're trying too hard. If it isn't organic, and feels forced... then it will just be awkward.
Instead, wait for something you're going to be doing anyway and simply ask if she wants to come along. Not something she'll know you'll hate (like, say, watching a cheesy romantic movie) or she'll hate (seeing Die Hard 8: Bruce's Walker is a shotgun). Something that's just enjoyable, like hiking or rafting. You clearly know her interests, and she seems at least somewhat athletic/outdoorsy if she's biking.
But nothing inorganic. Don't FORCE anything. Chat when chatting comes up. Don't just text/chat for the sake of it unless she starts it up. If you have something worth sharing, then share it - a promotion, family achievement, update on a mutual friend.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 8:12 am to skrayper
quote:
skrayper
Yeah, I see that I should have kept it more spontanious. Thanks for the insight.
I may have messed up my chance to date this girl but, her friendship is still valuable to me. I want to, at the very least, salvage that.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 8:52 am to asphinctersayswhat
She is dating someone else and wants to keep you on the back burner in the event it doesn't work out with the new guy. Go out and find someone else and forget about your feelings for her or the friendship. It will be hard for her or you to be friends, considering your professed interest in her from before.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 8:57 am to Vols&Shaft83
quote:
You need to make yourself less readily available to her. Right now, she knows she could have you if she wanted, any time she wants, that's a problem.
This. What you have done is presented the bait. If you keep trying to push the bait towards the fish, the fish will leave. What you have to do now is to start reeling the bait away from the fish. Get the fish to chase the bait.
But to be clear, the fish you are trying to catch won't go after the bait if it is balls deep in another fish.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 9:01 am to asphinctersayswhat
I would back away - not to create more interest on her part by playing hard to get. I would back up because you both need it.
You need to work on you. In the meantime, casual date for the sake of good company and doing something fun.
If you keep pursuing her, your confidence is going to take a hit. I had a mentor who used to say, "Women are funny fellers." They like a challenge. They often like men who wouldn't be good for them. And you could become roadkill in the process of her finding herself.
Just my thoughts.
You need to work on you. In the meantime, casual date for the sake of good company and doing something fun.
If you keep pursuing her, your confidence is going to take a hit. I had a mentor who used to say, "Women are funny fellers." They like a challenge. They often like men who wouldn't be good for them. And you could become roadkill in the process of her finding herself.
Just my thoughts.
This post was edited on 6/21/16 at 9:02 am
Posted on 6/21/16 at 9:04 am to asphinctersayswhat
Just play it cool. Don't pressure her at all. You can't make someone feel something they don't. If it is meant to be then just be around and being a good guy will be enough for her to return your interest. In the meantime, don't sell yourself short and see what else is out there.
Also, I recommend you don't let on that you are the kind of guy who chooses "asphinctersayswhat" as his online name.
Also, I recommend you don't let on that you are the kind of guy who chooses "asphinctersayswhat" as his online name.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 9:20 am to GnashRebel
If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?
Posted on 6/21/16 at 9:24 am to GnashRebel
quote:
Also, I recommend you don't let on that you are the kind of guy who chooses "asphinctersayswhat" as his online name.
It's from a movie and I thought it was funny at the time I made this account.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 9:43 am to Vols&Shaft83
quote:
Well then, I guess just back off a little bit and see what happens. But don't bring it up again
As T-Bird also said, you have made it clear you are interested (Probably too early, but happens to the best of us), if she is interested, she will tell you on her time. If not, you gained a friend, and on to the next one.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 10:06 am to Pitch To Johnny
quote:
As T-Bird also said, you have made it clear you are interested (Probably too early, but happens to the best of us), if she is interested, she will tell you on her time. If not, you gained a friend, and on to the next one.
Yeah, It may have been too early for her but we had riding and hanging out together for ~8 months before I told her. I understand that she has gone through a terrible time and is still very hurt. I guess it takes longer to get over these things and I jumped the gun a bit.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 10:13 am to slacker130
quote:
If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?
Because I have been happily married for over a decade and need places to act like a dumb dude.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 10:15 am to asphinctersayswhat
quote:
I may have messed up my chance to date this girl but, her friendship is still valuable to me. I want to, at the very least, salvage that.
I think you can as long as you don't become something she wants to avoid.
And no matter what you learned from it. At your age the pool is filled with divorced women, so learning how to fish in those waters might be the only way to eat fish.
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