re: Share your deepest, darkest secret with the board

quote:

---

Husband should have gotten full custody. JMO

---

he did

Nowhere near my darkest secret, but this was back in college in the days where you would use a phone to call in and make changes to your schedule. I have no idea if that is still how it's done, but I assume it is all online.

Anyway, my buddy got dumped by this obnoxious girl who we all hated. Our computer-nerd friend who was sort of like Abed from Community, had a few classes with her and she had used him to "sign in" on her behalf, using her student ID number. He knew it by heart. He suggested we could call in and withdraw her from her classes on the last day to drop them.

He gets on the phone, enters her ID, then tries out the number/name of a nightclub the girl had always talked about, at my suggestion. It was a 4-digit number. Sure enough, it's her PIN. He withdrew her from all of her classes.

She found out a few weeks later and lost an entire semester. I think she got her money back, though.

Probably the things I've done that I regret or cringe when I think about are pretty tame. Mostly it's beating the shite out of people when I was young and insecure. I have been in a few fights with people who didn't deserve it. I've stolen stuff and broken things.

Oh, I have a good one. I kissed one of my best male friends, full on, at a gay bar we were at with some friends, in Dallas, because the bartender dared us and offered us a free drink. We're sitting there talking to the big bear muscley bartender dude and he suggests we have hidden homoerotic love for one another. We'd known each other since elementary school.

We were both extremely drunk, but I remember it. I don't think anybody knows about that but me, my friend, and the bartender. My friend turns to me and says something like "yeah I can't believe we've known each other all these years and we've never even kissed." I started laughing, verified the free drinks were about to be poured, and let er rip.

Same friend drunkenly confessed to getting head from a few dudes a few years later. He is currently married to an extremely hot blonde, and was always a player with the ladies. Bi-curious is a thing.

That seemed pretty crazy back in the mid '00s.

Joking aside. My actual darkest deed was when I was about 12-13. Me and my cousin tipped a port o let, and did it so it was straw side down. We collected the blue water in a cup, and threw it on the drivers seat of a Mazda Miata. I still feel horrible about that.


Funny thing though.... a few years later, I was selling weed. A buddy brought over a guy I'd never met to buy from me. He lived close by me, and was a really nice guy. When I walked them out, the Miata was parked out front. I almost lost it. It made me feel even worse.

Obviously, I never told him, or any of my friends. He turned out to be a really good customer.

An old friend of mine murdered a dude several years back. I didn't know he did this, but he asked me for a favor, and I helped. One of many guns I'm sure that's buried in the river.

All that said, he still got caught, and is spending 8-10.

Was worried I'd be hit as an accomplice, but I'm good now.

quote:

---

Dammit Lanier that's not how MILF stories are supposed to end.

---

yea but those ta ta's were nice and her yard was small.

DGAF. Saw boobies at 13

quote:

---

After a night of drinking last year, a buddy passed out. Thinking he was just drunk, we rolled him over on his side to preemptively prevent him from choking on his vomit. 30 minutes later, we went back to check on him. His lips were extremely blue and I immediately got that lump in my throat. I couldn't feel a pulse and didn't notice a breathing pattern. Thinking "this is not fricking happening", I pulled the phone from my pocket and held it under his nose to see if the screen would fog up. Nothing. Another friend and I began to give him CPR until the medics came. We were working on a dead friend for 20 minutes. The hardest thing I have ever experience. Took me a while to recover from that.

---

i kinda was involved in a similar situation that ended better. this isnt necessarily a secret, i think ive posted this here before, but when i was a sophomore in college i was at my buddys place. a kid who i hung out with a few times but wasnt really a friend was there and that guys girlfriend was there as well. we were watching the NBA playoffs and they were smoking weed, i wasnt that night. she gets up to go use the bathroom and she is in there for a while. all of a sudden, three big bangs came from the bathroom. she then leaves the bathroom and all three of us are looking at her because of the loud noises. as she was walking out, she just had a totally blank expression on her face. like nothing was going on in her head at all. she takes maybe three or four steps and then all of a sudden she started to say "i feel really hig..." and she just fainted. so we all jump to her and she is just out. my buddy ran down stairs for whatever reason, her boyfriend jumps up and starts yelling and then he lifted her eyelids and her eyes started to roll back into her skull. im freaking out thinking she hit her head on something and is dying right in front of us. im getting ready to start CPR and right as im about to start, she came to and was fine. well not 100% fine as she spent the next 30/45 minutes or so puking in the bathroom but relative to what i was starting to think, she was fine. i still have no idea what the frick happened.

real fricked up story what happened to her boyfriend. that next thanksgiving, he was hit by an 18 wheeler and died on his way back to school. he was only 20. he was a real awesome guy too. life sucks sometimes

I have no penis

Back during the late 60s I hitch hiked to LA. I was just out of Highschool and heared there was work to be had.
While on the street looking,I got a tip and a phone #.
I called and a older lady told me that they were indeed looking for the right person and would I drop by the set and we would talk every thing over.
When I arrived i saw that I was on a movie stage, a porn movie stage.
To be continued .