re: Has anyone considered suicide?

I just did two bumps on each nostril about 30 mins ago. Don't feel shite....I tried to do cocaine when we lost to Clemson with my buddy but it didn't work out since we couldn't find any. Have had weed many times in my life but I'm not a pothead. All I can say about coke is its not doing shite.

I'm smoking a bowl. It's doing it for me. Never done cocaine. Watching A League of their Own. Tom mother fricking Hanks!

It's a daily battle for me

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I know we've had our bickering fights on here fairly recently, but you and I have something in common here, as you know, and I hope you're doing well.

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Been better, been worse. But thanks for asking. I appreciate that. And same to you of course.

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SCgamecock2988

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I have considered it. I think, if they are honest, most people have. I've suffered from depression off and on my entire adult life, mostly situational. I somehow find ways to work through it - counseling, medication. Family and friends. Losing my brother and my dad were two of my worst times. It's easy to let yourself get sucked into a downward spiral and lose the ability to focus on the positives. And you DO have positives!!

I'm not going to try to minimize the way your feel about rosacea. It's an awful thing - I know since I have it too. I'm fortunate that it's mild. Like you, I have very fair skin and light (green) eyes, only I'm a brunette. The guy who recommended Metrogel was right on, it's great and you should definitely ask your doctor. Also, figure out YOUR triggers - they are different for everyone. Mine are sudden temperature and seasonal changes, stress and prolonged exposure to heat, like if I soak in a bubble bah for too long I will flush red for a while. Once you figure out what triggers you, you can manage it. Wear a sunscreen on your face every day, and wear a hat when you'll be out in the sun - you don't have to stay inside, that's depressing in and of itself. You can also look into laser therapy. I did that years ago for some visible vessels and it helped tremendously. I'm at a place where people don't know I have it unless I tell them. It will flare up occasionaly, but you can get it under control.

There are people who love you, but you have to let them in. Talk to your family and friends. A minister, a counselor, your doctor - someone. Good luck to you. You can do this. Hang in there and let us know how you're doing. And go see your family for Christmas, please. You won't be sorry.

Eta - be very disciplined about washing your face with mild a cleanser, like CeraVe or Aveeno. And wash your sheets, towels and anything that comes into contact with your skin regularly in a detergent free of dyes and fragrances. Dust mites and other microscopic mites that live on skin or on your sheets can really aggravate rosacea, so keep everything clean. Lastly, Sephora carries a line called First Aid Beauty that's for troubled or irritated skin. It's not too expensive. When I have flare ups. I use their oatmeal mask every few days. It's great. You can probably also find some good recipes for a mask you can make with common kitchen ingredients that will help.

I remember this incident. I've thought about you. How are you doing? Lingering health issues aside, I guess.

So you're less depressed, which is good. But other things aren't so good. I hope you can find a path to a good quality of life with the right doctors and therapies, whether medications or other. Best of luck to you. I'll keep you in my prayers.

I've been there. Pushing people away makes it worse. So does alcohol, stimulants, narcotics, and tranqs. But I get it. When you are depressed you don't want to be around anyone, especially family who will bug you, and the other stuff offers quick relief. The things that will help take emotional effort which you don't have. So you keep doing the things that make it worse

Find a good cognitive behavioral therapist. If they aren't helping find another one. You will know quickly if you feel a better or worse afterwards. You can afford it if you want, I managed when I was too depressed to work. I went through six or seven before I found the right one. A couple just medicated me which didn't help, a couple actually made me feel worse about myself and shouldn't be allowed to practice, and finally one guided me into turning my life around ( and yeah I had to be the one to turn it around). Which took a good while. But it really was worth it.