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Favorite Bible Stories
Posted on 6/21/16 at 10:40 pm
Posted on 6/21/16 at 10:40 pm
What's your favorite story from the Bible?
Mine is Genesis 34:
Gentile boy falls in love/lust with Jewish girl and rapes her. Gentile's Father talks to Jewish girl's Father and they agree that the two should get married and that both families should intermarry and become one people, share everything, be happy, etc....on one condition: all the gentile men get circumcised. Gentiles are like "cool" and chop of their foreskins. While they're recovering the Jewish girl's brothers come in and kill all the Gentile men, steal all their stuff, and enslave the Gentile Women and Children.
I guess the moral of the story is a combination of anti-rape/adult circumcision.
This post was edited on 6/21/16 at 10:43 pm
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Posted on 6/21/16 at 10:43 pm to KSGamecock
This religious trolling is out of control
Posted on 6/21/16 at 10:46 pm to Old Sarge
I don't mean to troll, just seems to be how the subforum is going at the moment as far as topics. Stacked got me going on the more obscure parts of the Bible and I've always liked that story. Wanted to hear other people's favorites, especially the funnier ones.
This post was edited on 6/21/16 at 10:48 pm
Posted on 6/21/16 at 11:00 pm to KSGamecock
My favorite "story" is where this innocent man is murdered and gives his perfect body as a substitute for the sin of all people who choose.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 11:05 pm to airfernando
Sarge, it's not religious trolling. It's asking you real questions, and the answers are ridiculous if you're to respond with what you say you believe. Don't get mad at us, you're the one who believes it.
It's long time since realists did what I'm doing. Simply make Christians say out loud what they believe. So they can hear themselves. Why should that upset a Christian? Don't you want to share what you believe?
It's long time since realists did what I'm doing. Simply make Christians say out loud what they believe. So they can hear themselves. Why should that upset a Christian? Don't you want to share what you believe?
This post was edited on 6/21/16 at 11:16 pm
Posted on 6/21/16 at 11:13 pm to Stacked
I believe you are lashing out at God who you are angry at.
Posted on 6/21/16 at 11:14 pm to Old Sarge
Can't all the OTB old timers just get along?
Posted on 6/21/16 at 11:19 pm to Old Sarge
I've never tried to lead anyone to believe I wasn't. (Mad at Christianity. You'll say God but I don't believe in the bible's and Qur'an's God.) Sometimes I think you don't actually read a word I write. I've even said this in this very fricking thread. For god sakes, dude. Read.
Posted on 6/22/16 at 2:13 am to Stacked
1. God murdering the whole world, cept Noah and family to incestuously repopulate the earth (for the second time).
2. Turning Lot's wife to salt for looking back.
3 Tower of Babel offending god so he cursed man with different languages.
ect ect.......
2. Turning Lot's wife to salt for looking back.
3 Tower of Babel offending god so he cursed man with different languages.
ect ect.......
Posted on 6/22/16 at 2:15 am to Person of interest
Forgot 10 commandments not including:
Pedophilia
Rape
Slavery
Pedophilia
Rape
Slavery
Posted on 6/22/16 at 5:03 am to Person of interest
2 Sam 13-15.
Ch 13: David= King--- sons (Ammon & Absalom) daughter (Tamara)
Ammon fell in love with his sister, conspired with servant to trick her into bringing him food b/c he was sick....raped her (she was a Virgin), then he immediately became enraged and tried exiling her from the land. Absalom found out after probing and was pissed. Internal family strife
Ch 15: King David vs Absalom -- Absalom tried usurping David dividing the people's hearts with flattery (mirrors story of Lucifer's Pride taught since we were kids)--- a civil war ensued,
Absalom was chased down and killed after taking 1/2 the fallen angels (I mean people) with him. David wept for Absalom after he died and Joab (The General) told him to man up b/c the ppl are getting pissed you are openly crying over a man who just tried killing you and all of them as well. He wised up and apologized for his mistake in leadership.
Blood not always thicker than water.
Ch 13: David= King--- sons (Ammon & Absalom) daughter (Tamara)
Ammon fell in love with his sister, conspired with servant to trick her into bringing him food b/c he was sick....raped her (she was a Virgin), then he immediately became enraged and tried exiling her from the land. Absalom found out after probing and was pissed. Internal family strife
Ch 15: King David vs Absalom -- Absalom tried usurping David dividing the people's hearts with flattery (mirrors story of Lucifer's Pride taught since we were kids)--- a civil war ensued,
Absalom was chased down and killed after taking 1/2 the fallen angels (I mean people) with him. David wept for Absalom after he died and Joab (The General) told him to man up b/c the ppl are getting pissed you are openly crying over a man who just tried killing you and all of them as well. He wised up and apologized for his mistake in leadership.
Blood not always thicker than water.
Posted on 6/22/16 at 6:13 am to KSGamecock
KSGamecock
I'm going with the one where God smites the shite out of you.
I'm going with the one where God smites the shite out of you.
Posted on 6/22/16 at 8:04 am to KSGamecock
Posted on 6/22/16 at 9:30 am to KSGamecock
quote:
the moral of the story is that payback for rape often involves slow calculated retribution including genital mutilation and death
Good story. The harsh side of me approves and tells the rational side to sit quietly for now.
Posted on 6/22/16 at 10:00 am to KSGamecock
I don't know what's so bad about that story. It's not a stretch that humans would rape, lie, murder, and seek vengeance. And it's not as if God was happy with what went down or approved it. It's ferociously realistic as are most parts of the bible. If anyone thought it was G-rated, then they are exposing their own ignorance, not a 'gotcha'.
Posted on 6/22/16 at 10:03 am to TheRodFather
The world repopulating twice from less than double digits of people isn't in any stretch realistic.
Posted on 6/22/16 at 10:07 am to Stacked
I'm obviously referring to it not being censored of real human nature which includes extreme violence.
Posted on 6/22/16 at 10:31 am to TheRodFather
That's fine but why such a violent God, who's painted as a lover today?
The only difference in ISIS and the Old Testament God is God killed EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON EARTH that couldn't be counted on two hands.
I catch shite because I think it's time to dispatch all Muslims. All of them. Every one. I catch hell that that isn't how you respond to others. YOUR GOD DISPATCHED EVERY SINGLE PERSON OF EVERY SINGLE RELIGION ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET!
Unmatched violence by any other diety. Why is Jesus so violent? So there wasn't a single good sweet old lady on the planet? The entire planet had to be drowned to death?
The only difference in ISIS and the Old Testament God is God killed EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON EARTH that couldn't be counted on two hands.
I catch shite because I think it's time to dispatch all Muslims. All of them. Every one. I catch hell that that isn't how you respond to others. YOUR GOD DISPATCHED EVERY SINGLE PERSON OF EVERY SINGLE RELIGION ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET!
Unmatched violence by any other diety. Why is Jesus so violent? So there wasn't a single good sweet old lady on the planet? The entire planet had to be drowned to death?
This post was edited on 6/22/16 at 10:53 am
Posted on 6/22/16 at 10:34 am to airfernando
Posted on 6/22/16 at 10:37 am to Person of interest
quote:My favorite is your double misspell of etc
1. God murdering the whole world, cept Noah and family to incestuously repopulate the earth (for the second time).
2. Turning Lot's wife to salt for looking back.
3 Tower of Babel offending god so he cursed man with different languages.
ect ect.......
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