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re: OT: Anyone ever been through a divorce here?
Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:22 pm to DaleDenton
Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:22 pm to DaleDenton
Another great bit of advice. I'd strongly recommend against Christian or otherwise religious counseling.
If religion is important to you, then you can interpret and view what you learn through that viewfinder. But I once visited a Christian counselor and it did not resonate with me at all. I felt like I was teaching him about psychology.
If religion is important to you, then you can interpret and view what you learn through that viewfinder. But I once visited a Christian counselor and it did not resonate with me at all. I felt like I was teaching him about psychology.
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Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:24 pm to Hawgeye
quote:See, I knew I found the right girl when I took her ring shopping and she picked out a ring with a 1/4 ct diamond.
This pretty much started going down hill when I was looking for a ring and 1 1/2 ct diamond wasn't big enough. So, she has a 2 ct rock on her finger.
(there are many other reasons I knew she was the right girl, but that was a good moment
)
Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:29 pm to wmr
quote:Hammer meet Nail!
If conservative Christians were realistic about "saving marriage", they'd invest their energy into family law reform. Not a direct slam at you, but I wonder why such energy is focused by some on gay marriage, when its the reality of modern marriage itself that makes it less appealing, and nearly impossible to maintain.
I agree with most of what you said here. But I do believe Christian based fundamental counseling can offer more than many think. I truly hate it that the "Christian" brand of counseling and judgmental faction has caused people to be so negative against religion. We "Christians as a whole" have failed to be relevant to real world problems. I attempt to be different, and do not fit the so called mold of this moniker.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:32 pm to wmr
Child support will probably be much more than what you are paying now for a house cleaner and a nanny, plus you won't be able to see your child as much, plus the things that you will want to provide for your child directly will not reduce your monthly child support payments.
And your suspicions about your wife moving out of state with your child are probably accurate, mine did.
Sounds like you might have to deal with something I never did and that is alimony.
Don't have much to go on, but if she'd rather see you dead than for you to leave her and she's good looking, sounds like there's something to work with there.
Only financial issue with trying to work it out is that if your business is growing, that's just that much more she's going to get out of you if you split later.
And your suspicions about your wife moving out of state with your child are probably accurate, mine did.
Sounds like you might have to deal with something I never did and that is alimony.
Don't have much to go on, but if she'd rather see you dead than for you to leave her and she's good looking, sounds like there's something to work with there.
Only financial issue with trying to work it out is that if your business is growing, that's just that much more she's going to get out of you if you split later.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:36 pm to Razorback Reverend
quote:
I truly hate it that the "Christian" brand of counseling and judgmental faction has caused people to be so negative against religion. We "Christians as a whole" have failed to be relevant to real world problems. I attempt to be different, and do not fit the so called mold of this moniker.
Religion has a place in psychology for some/many. There is nothing in psychology that says it only works on the religious or on the not religious.
What I meant was there are many issues in people's lives that can only meet satisfactory resolution for those involved via means that are not acceptable in the religious texts of religious counselors when help is sought through them.
It isn't a Christian problem, same can be found in every other religion where the resolution goes against a religious principle and thus will be suggested against meeting resolution through these means. Seeking the resolution and thus violating the law or principle in the religious text will lead to other psychological issues such as guilt and resentment for example.
Now, if an individual(s) are highly religious than religious counsel may be their best avenue to meet their personal needs in a satisfactory method as that method may only include a resolution in agreement with the religious text they follow.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:40 pm to PygmalionEffect
If she really loves you enough, you might have some leverage there to get her to sign a post-nup in an attempt to save the marriage that will keep her from getting as much of your assets if you don't make it later.
For that to work I think she would have to believe that there's a chance you could still love her. How naive is she?
For that to work I think she would have to believe that there's a chance you could still love her. How naive is she?
Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:43 pm to Hawgeye
Get out of that shite as fast as you can.
You seem to be a pretty good businessman. Marriage is business these days. Talk to a good atty and you could possibly make her live close to you.
I'm divorced and have a daughter. Ex and I get along better than ever. And my ex is bat shite crazy. I pay child support and smile.
^^^^^THIS
You seem to be a pretty good businessman. Marriage is business these days. Talk to a good atty and you could possibly make her live close to you.
I'm divorced and have a daughter. Ex and I get along better than ever. And my ex is bat shite crazy. I pay child support and smile.
quote:
Seriously, men have very little incentive to get married these days. Don't get married unless you absolutely want children and can't just rent a nanny, or she makes significantly more money than you do.
^^^^^THIS
Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:47 pm to Hawgeye
quote:
My biggest concern is not money, or losing a business, or losing a car or dog....but her moving back to her home state with my little girl
Then that's your battle ground, I had my decree written as to where my ex could not leave the state (with my daughter) until my daughter was 18. be prepared to give up other things to win this battle.
This post was edited on 3/6/14 at 8:48 pm
Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:49 pm to SunHog
quote:
I hope he doesn't go the lawyer route until all personal options have been exhausted
do both, can never be under prepared
Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:57 pm to Pigfeet
quote:
Is it too early to start planning a divorce party? I've got plenty of strippers and they will provide the blow.
can we get back to the most important part of this thread?
Posted on 3/6/14 at 8:59 pm to DaleDenton
Dale , you are one of my favorite posters on here. Much insight, intelligent, and coherent.
But I believe there is not a single problem upon the earth where what I know through my training, which involves Christian Values, can not be helped, and or resolved.
But we can agree to disagree and I respect that completely. The problem with most of my lovable "ilk" is that they have never been on the opposite side of the fence to have any rationale whatsoever with regards to understanding, empathy, or conclusive evidence to relate!
ANywho.. WPS!
But I believe there is not a single problem upon the earth where what I know through my training, which involves Christian Values, can not be helped, and or resolved.
But we can agree to disagree and I respect that completely. The problem with most of my lovable "ilk"
is that they have never been on the opposite side of the fence to have any rationale whatsoever with regards to understanding, empathy, or conclusive evidence to relate! ANywho.. WPS!
Posted on 3/6/14 at 9:00 pm to Pigfeet
I'll meet y'all at the furniture store in Strong.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 9:16 pm to Ole Geauxt
Amber herring used to be.....well.....nice
Posted on 3/6/14 at 9:20 pm to Pigfeet
Talking with a buddy tonight and I've thought about letting her have the business....but buying my half out....if it's the money that she wants....well here are the keys. Where's my check?
May sound stupid, but I've got other interests I've been wanting to pursue.
How much of my investments can be touched if they're only in my name? Example: Walmart stick from well before I even knew here....or anything else with only Mr. Hawgeye on them.
May sound stupid, but I've got other interests I've been wanting to pursue.
How much of my investments can be touched if they're only in my name? Example: Walmart stick from well before I even knew here....or anything else with only Mr. Hawgeye on them.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 9:22 pm to Hawgeye
quote:
How much of my investments can be touched if they're only in my name? Example: Walmart stick from well before I even knew here....or anything else with only Mr. Hawgeye on them.
That would be a question for a lawyer, my understanding is half of everything of yours becomes hers upon marriage without out a pre-nup, you get half of the nothing she brought to the marriage.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 9:22 pm to Razorback Reverend
Rev....I have a bible study with about 7 other guys Thursday mornings.
We only do our study for about 15 min....the other 45 minutes we are talking about all of our issues...that's helps me out during my week and is great timing....usually Thursdays I'm about ready to blow a gasket
We only do our study for about 15 min....the other 45 minutes we are talking about all of our issues...that's helps me out during my week and is great timing....usually Thursdays I'm about ready to blow a gasket
Posted on 3/6/14 at 9:23 pm to DaleDenton
Yea....she brought credit card debt and student loan debt....was employed when we got married as a personal trainer....now not so much....can I get back pay for the years she didn't work?
Fooling me with a job then quitting after we get married.....shame on me I guess.
Fooling me with a job then quitting after we get married.....shame on me I guess.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 9:35 pm to Razorback Reverend
I don't discount the good that some Christians do, and I am by no means "anti Christian". Having experienced Christian-based counseling vs regular theory-based counseling, moving forward I will always choose the latter.
Like I said, I believe most thinking people who might also have faith could filter therapy from any POV through their own faith. Just like how people of faith interpret any other type of healthcare, the results thereof.
My preferred therapeutic approach is Jungian, as it is body-focused and I think most men, being more physically centered in general, will find that the most fruitful.
"Tell me where you feel your hatred of LSU fans. Does it have a color?"
-in my gut. Its mustard yellow.
Like I said, I believe most thinking people who might also have faith could filter therapy from any POV through their own faith. Just like how people of faith interpret any other type of healthcare, the results thereof.
My preferred therapeutic approach is Jungian, as it is body-focused and I think most men, being more physically centered in general, will find that the most fruitful.
"Tell me where you feel your hatred of LSU fans. Does it have a color?"
-in my gut. Its mustard yellow.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 9:38 pm to Hawgeye
quote:
Yea....she brought credit card debt and student loan debt....was employed when we got married as a personal trainer....now not so much....can I get back pay for the years she didn't work?
Such a common situation!
I have actually ended two relationships that were getting serious because they dropped the "I owe 50+ grand on student loan debts....but I have a horse that I spend $500 a month boarding" type shite!
Here's the beauty of present-day family law. A woman often has the luxury of whether or not she works. If she chooses to stay home and not work, then she will be more likely to be able to garner spousal support. What a deal!
I'm not going to work anymore, because you can afford to support both of us. Then, when the SHTF, that choice will get me more cash and prizes! Afterall, I GAVE UP MY CAREER!
I mean holy shite.
This post was edited on 3/6/14 at 9:39 pm
Posted on 3/6/14 at 9:39 pm to Hawgeye
quote:
Hawgeye
Amber herring used to be.....well.....nice
I had a camp up in that neck of the woods, I heard stories from crossett to Moro bay to fountain hill.
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