SEC Coaches: who would win in a fight?

Comprehensive list 1-14

1. Muschamp- Not only is he a good sized dude. He is crazy enough to bite an ear off or go straight for a dick grab and twist

2. Odom- Chiseled jaw line. Peak physical condition. Grit. A true American throwback. A man's man.

3. Mason- he's not that big, but he's in good shape. Still looks athletic and has a tough air about him.

4. Sumlin- decent shape, has been fending off yell leaders for years adding to his toughness quotient.

5. Jones- yes, he's a lesbian but he's the chain wallet, flannel, Jeep Wrangler type and those dudes are usually pretty tough.

6. Bielema- yes, he's a disgusting fat slob but considering the rest of this list he could likely just lean on them for a few minutes until they fell over.

7. Stoops- he's also a disgusting fat slob, but he's less disgusting and fat than Bert. If this were a beauty contest he'd slot up, but it's not.

8. Mullen- the hunch in his back could lead to some effective uppercuts, and if not he has more stamina and could simply run away.

9. Saban- he's the size of a pre pubescent girl, but the man is wiry. Has some fire to him. He would be firmly beat by the coaches above, but he would go down swinging. Have to respect that.

10. Miles- he's so goofy and aloof I can't even picture him in a fight, but he beats the coaches below him because that dude he's married to looks pretty tough.

11. Smart- could have slotted higher as one of the youngest coaches in the league but too much man boob, too much 9 year old boy haircut.

12. Malzahn- he just seems like a huge pussy, no?

13. McElwain- he was definitely the kid everyone picked on growing up

14. Freeze- he was the kid that kids like McElwain picked on after losing their lunch money

Agree? Disagree? Did I under rate the teeth of 13 and 14 in a street fight?