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Opposing fans' dream scenarios for Saban's exit
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:18 pm
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:18 pm
To counter all of the Bama circle-jerking that is wearing a little thin, here is a thread for opposing fans to post their dream scenarios for Saban's inevitable exit.
Obviously, Paterno set the gold standard for the worst coaching exit possible. It's really not close. Petrino at Arkansas was also pretty bad. Even Kiffin at USC was pretty embarrassing.
How would you like to see the man go? Do you want him to hang on too long, like Bowden, and see the game pass him by? A nice, juicy recruiting scandal? Perhaps, you'd like him to leave for greener pastures (Austin, NFL)?
An LSU fantasy might go like this: Saban and Kiffin walk over to Les before the game to shake hands. All of a sudden, they rip off their Bama shirts and reveal LSU clothing underneath. Saban kicks Miles in the nuts, walks over to the LSU sidelines, and leads the Tigers to 7 titles in the next 10 years. At his retirement, Saban tells the LSU faithful, through tears, that he always loved LSU more, but he had to atone for his sin of leaving for the NFL with purgatory in Tuscaloosa. Cam Cameron becomes coach at Alabama and fields the first QB-less offense.
Auburn fantasy: after a relentless letter writing campaign, the Auburn family finally catches the attention of the NCAA and FBI. Countless scandals are exposed in Tuscaloosa, including ref payments, faked transcripts, free cars, T-Town Menswear, illegal "processing", deer antler spray, steroids, and Heisman voter bribing. Saban is fired and imprisoned. The scandal is so embarrassing, the state of Alabama changes its name to Auburn. The surviving members of Lynyrd Skynyrd change their iconic song to "Sweet Home Auburn". UA is renamed Updyke University and forbidden from participating in collegiate athletics.
Ole Miss fantasy: After losing to Freeze six years in a row, Saban is arrested and immediately fired after dropping off a crate of poisoned carrots at Freeze's house.
Mississippi State fantasy: Saban retires after twenty years at Alabama as the undisputed GOAT. During his retirement speech, he is asked about his 19-1 record against State while at Alabama. "That's a little misleading," he says. "Those guys always played us tough. And they have great fans."
Obviously, Paterno set the gold standard for the worst coaching exit possible. It's really not close. Petrino at Arkansas was also pretty bad. Even Kiffin at USC was pretty embarrassing.
How would you like to see the man go? Do you want him to hang on too long, like Bowden, and see the game pass him by? A nice, juicy recruiting scandal? Perhaps, you'd like him to leave for greener pastures (Austin, NFL)?
An LSU fantasy might go like this: Saban and Kiffin walk over to Les before the game to shake hands. All of a sudden, they rip off their Bama shirts and reveal LSU clothing underneath. Saban kicks Miles in the nuts, walks over to the LSU sidelines, and leads the Tigers to 7 titles in the next 10 years. At his retirement, Saban tells the LSU faithful, through tears, that he always loved LSU more, but he had to atone for his sin of leaving for the NFL with purgatory in Tuscaloosa. Cam Cameron becomes coach at Alabama and fields the first QB-less offense.
Auburn fantasy: after a relentless letter writing campaign, the Auburn family finally catches the attention of the NCAA and FBI. Countless scandals are exposed in Tuscaloosa, including ref payments, faked transcripts, free cars, T-Town Menswear, illegal "processing", deer antler spray, steroids, and Heisman voter bribing. Saban is fired and imprisoned. The scandal is so embarrassing, the state of Alabama changes its name to Auburn. The surviving members of Lynyrd Skynyrd change their iconic song to "Sweet Home Auburn". UA is renamed Updyke University and forbidden from participating in collegiate athletics.
Ole Miss fantasy: After losing to Freeze six years in a row, Saban is arrested and immediately fired after dropping off a crate of poisoned carrots at Freeze's house.
Mississippi State fantasy: Saban retires after twenty years at Alabama as the undisputed GOAT. During his retirement speech, he is asked about his 19-1 record against State while at Alabama. "That's a little misleading," he says. "Those guys always played us tough. And they have great fans."
This post was edited on 12/13/15 at 6:20 pm
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Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:19 pm to Decker
Solid 
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:24 pm to Decker
Most of that is actually pretty good.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:24 pm to Tuscaloosa
If there were any Grinders left, that'd be gold, Jerry.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:24 pm to Decker
If we lose to Ole Miss next year the Grove and every living thing in and around it for a 50 mile radius will be poisoned as all hell.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:26 pm to Decker
quote:
An LSU fantasy might go like this:
Saban leaves for the NFL..then tanks again and goes to Tennessee. Tennessee wins 3 national titles and beats teh dogshit out of bama in the process.
I'd be happy with that.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:27 pm to Decker
Laughed pretty hard at the MSU part.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:28 pm to Decker
Falling out of a 4 story hotel window. Only a few cuts and bruises but his pride and image forever broken.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:37 pm to Decker
I think he should just go like Bear did. Fall over and die.
No scandal, just exit stage right.
No scandal, just exit stage right.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:38 pm to Decker
9/10. Would read again.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:46 pm to Adam4LSU
quote:
Saban leaves for the NFL..then tanks again and goes to Tennessee. Tennessee wins 3 national titles and beats teh dogshit out of bama in the process.
This is the real LSU version
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:57 pm to Decker
quote:Didn't this happen a few times in the WWF?
An LSU fantasy might go like this: Saban and Kiffin walk over to Les before the game to shake hands. All of a sudden, they rip off their Bama shirts and reveal LSU clothing underneath. Saban kicks Miles in the nuts, walks over to the LSU sidelines, and leads the Tigers to 7 titles in the next 10 years.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 4:57 pm to Decker
Kentucky fantasy : Saban ends his career bringing UK football back to the days of the Bear.
Tennessee fantasy : Saban retires and stops the arse whippings of the Vols
Florida fantasy : Saban stays at Alabama and they keep LSU as the fixed cross game.
South Carolina fantasy : In a post Boom era, they can claim Lou, Steve, and Nick all finished their careers in Columbia
Vanderbilt fantasy : Saban donates millions to endow a chair in Peabody
Georgia fantasy : Kirby pulls a Mulkey and hires Saban as an assistant
Missouri fantasy : Hell if I know
Tennessee fantasy : Saban retires and stops the arse whippings of the Vols
Florida fantasy : Saban stays at Alabama and they keep LSU as the fixed cross game.
South Carolina fantasy : In a post Boom era, they can claim Lou, Steve, and Nick all finished their careers in Columbia
Vanderbilt fantasy : Saban donates millions to endow a chair in Peabody
Georgia fantasy : Kirby pulls a Mulkey and hires Saban as an assistant
Missouri fantasy : Hell if I know
Posted on 12/13/15 at 5:02 pm to Decker
My dream would be for AU to get better and compete with CNS for Championships every season instead of every 4 years.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 5:04 pm to Pavoloco83
quote:
I think he should just go like Bear did. Fall over and die.
We are all going that way, baw. I doubt you want him to beat Auburn nine years in a row before losing once and dying.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 5:11 pm to Decker
quote:
Mississippi State fantasy: Saban retires after twenty years at Alabama as the undisputed GOAT. During his retirement speech, he is asked about his 19-1 record against State while at Alabama. "That's a little misleading," he says. "Those guys always played us tough. And they have great fans."
Okay, you deserve a real laugh for that one. Nicely played.
As for me, I'm a Vandy fan. We aren't the most optimistic bunch when it comes to football, so all I hope for is Saban hanging on for another 20 years and beating the hell out of Tennessee every year, leaving them so demoralized that they lose to us a month later.
What's that? Oh, you misunderstand. This is our version of dreaming big. Saban could be on our sidelines and lead us to 10 consecutive national titles and we'd still be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thank God for baseball, right?
Edit: "lose" not "lost" because tenses are hard.
This post was edited on 12/13/15 at 5:15 pm
Posted on 12/13/15 at 5:16 pm to randomways
This right here :
Is the most little bro shite in the SEC.
At least you'll beat us in Basketball
Is the most little bro shite in the SEC.
At least you'll beat us in Basketball
Posted on 12/13/15 at 5:17 pm to Decker
quote:
Mississippi State fantasy: Saban retires after twenty years at Alabama as the undisputed GOAT. During his retirement speech, he is asked about his 19-1 record against State while at Alabama. "That's a little misleading," he says. "Those guys always played us tough. And they have great fans."
Posted on 12/13/15 at 5:21 pm to Vols&Shaft83
quote:
Is the most little bro shite in the SEC.
At least you'll beat us in Basketball
In a football conference, we are essentially "little bro". I mean, not like Auburn is to Bama or MSU is to OM -- being a private non-state school makes it apples to oranges -- but there's really no way to deny y'all are the premiere football program in the state when MTSU is having a bad year. No reason to pretend otherwise. But I can still get some satisfaction that some UT fans care enough about the sig to make a point of calling it out.
Posted on 12/13/15 at 5:27 pm to Decker
Now THAT'S funny. KUTGW
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