Gentlemen, I appreciate your patience. I welcome each and every one of you to your new compatriots, your new home, and your new mission. The games, or jeux, have taken on a new identity. No longer do we fight for ourselves. Our's is a greater purpose. We are now one.

Some of you may ask why, DGD, of all places did you choose for us to be France? Aren't they a bunch of arrogant cowards best known for getting their asses handed to them in June of 1940? Well, for one, don't fricking worry about it. Secondly, there was a time where France wasn't getting it's face staved in. Seriously, I am as surprised as you are. From Charlemagne, to Clemenceau, to Pepe Le Pew the French have provided us with much.

You may now be asking hey, DGD, who and why are these people on my team? Great question:

Porter Osbourne Jr: The first pick. This man is our Napoleon.

Shawn Spencer: This crafty little fricker, this guy right here, frickin genius. This guy is our Marquis de Lafayette.

Dawg Country: The bread, err, baguettes and butter of this team

Glory Glory: He is our eiffel tower because we plan to gang bang the shite out of these other teams.

Portly Dawg: This tough sumbitch is Zidane for he is going to head butt some counts into the stratosphere.

alapaha: This man is a Renault semi truck because even the French need a semi to ram through the competition.

IT Dawg: This grumpy bastard is our executioner. No one is more fitting. He will be busy loading up our guillotine.

deeprig9: The louvre doesn't even come close to covering the unique nature of our wild card, rig.

MrTwoBits: General Philippe Pétain. This gentleman knows defense. He's only watched defense on Saturday's since Meyer left.

Dawgs Life: This guy is our team chaplain. He probably has read this page and thought about how abhorrent the language in this OP was unnecessary.

Firewind: No war machine functions without propaganda. Firewind would make Hanoi Jane blush. But we don't talk about Hanoi. frick Vietnam.

olddawg26: This guy? This guy likes soccer. I am as confused as your are but this would not be France without someone liking that. He also claims to bring some good jokes. I know he'll do just that.

td01421: Pepe Le Pew. You, sir, are gonna be the one no one thinks about...and then brings our victory full circle.

So, boys, let us kick off this team-variant of the jeux de la faim! This is France, so I will say it's a democracy and open for everyone's input only to then do what I think is the right idea. Let us create an email chain. Don't have a throw account? Get a god damn throw away account. I am damngooddawg1980@yahoo.com

Anyone who wants to opt out or admit they won't make any picks should do so now. I went down on the SS Hata9 last year. She was a beautiful ship and many of you were aboard with me. We were brought down by several members incredibly selfish actions and brothers that simply will not happen. We have come too far.

So, let us set out now! We will vanquish these petulant rebels led by Dallas. We will use no discretion while disemboweling the ski-mask wearing Chrissies who embarrass themselves with their lack of creativity. If that weren't bad the fighting Crowell's have nothing more than a drugged out former RB to worship. We will plant weapons with grinded serial numbers in all their vehicles. IT Dawg will then plant explosives and go Munich on their arse.

Then there's the Space Monkeys. Their arrogance should fill your spirit with insatiable rage. They taunt you. Their every post is a sin. They post their gifs from one damn movie, they light cigars, they go into space. They must be destroyed if not for us but for the world. What kind of society would we be if we allowed monkeys to not only develop space travel but also get lung cancer, fire automatic weapons, and ride horses?

The onus is on us, gentlemen. I trust y'all will fight for each other until the last man.

This post was edited on 9/12/14 at 5:26 pm