Greg Maddux cracks a fart joke during his HOF induction speech

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In the world of baseball, newly elected Hall of Fame pitcher Greg Maddux was that guy. According to former teammates like Chipper Jones, Maddux is a “dirtbag” and “one of the grossest guys I’ve ever been around in my life.” Maddux was renowned for clubhouse pranks to push the boundaries of human decency. Here’s a short list of the stuff his teammates have actually admitted to, which, according to them, is still far short of the worst stuff Maddux pulled. That, to say the least, is both terrifying and impressive. - According to an interview on The Dan Patrick Show with John Smoltz, Maddux used to use his rental car to rear end other players’ rental cars until the bumper literally fell off. And, when in other people’s rental cars, like Smoltz’s, Maddux would spit tobacco everywhere while picking his nose and leaving it wherever he felt like it. In the clubhouse, Maddux would hawk loogies onto the ceiling and wait for them to fall on reporters and other innocent passersby. Maddux was also a fan of telling complete and total lies, such as claiming that any fly ball in the air for six seconds is caught 100% of the time, which would lead to lengthy teammate debates during fly balls immediately after. - The following is from a Jerry Crasnick story on ESPN in 2007, after Maddux joined the San Diego Padres:

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Maddux? For a guy with a CPA’s demeanor, he has a sense of humor that a 12-year-old would envy. Maddux is a master of strategically timed nose picking, sidling up to an unsuspecting rookie in the shower and urinating on the kid’s leg, and inventing just the right nickname for a teammate with big ears, a prominent schnozz or some other pronounced physical qualities. “I call him ‘The Silent Scumbag,’” Wells said. “You would perceive him to be Einstein because he’s quiet and he’s always sitting there at his locker with a crossword puzzle. But he’s got a silent sickness to him, sort of like David Cone. Those quiet guys are the ones you have to watch out for.”

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