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Posted on 4/6/14 at 8:32 pm to Aurora Borealis
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few people have suggested that I may need to be prescribed a psychological drug to make me feel better, but that's not what I want. I think I can get better without resorting to drugs.
Read some William Glasser books. Choice Theory is a good start.
This post was edited on 4/6/14 at 8:34 pm
Posted on 4/6/14 at 8:36 pm to Aurora Borealis
shite man, appreciate your solitude. Being around people all the time blows. I've always valued my alone time. Make yourself happy and use other relationships to supplement your happiness, not to make your happiness.
Get some structure in your life and start some sort of exercise routine, even if it's power walking or some shite. If you're not a good looking guy, learn to munch box. Hell, learn that anyway, it will serve you well in a few years.
I don't get the whole "feeling better talking to internet people vs real people" thing. I guess it's a generational thing. Not knowing who I'm talking to on here still freaks me out.
Get some structure in your life and start some sort of exercise routine, even if it's power walking or some shite. If you're not a good looking guy, learn to munch box. Hell, learn that anyway, it will serve you well in a few years.
I don't get the whole "feeling better talking to internet people vs real people" thing. I guess it's a generational thing. Not knowing who I'm talking to on here still freaks me out.
Posted on 4/6/14 at 8:39 pm to InVolNerable
Thanks for the recommendation.
I've already read a few details.
https://www.wglasser.com/the-glasser-approach/choice-theory
I've already read a few details.
https://www.wglasser.com/the-glasser-approach/choice-theory
Posted on 4/6/14 at 8:41 pm to Aurora Borealis
If you want to create some relationships, I can tell you from experience that you will never do it by trying to create them just for the sake of having a relationship with somebody.
You need to get out, develop some hobbies and interests, and from that relationships will follow.
You need to get out, develop some hobbies and interests, and from that relationships will follow.
This post was edited on 4/6/14 at 8:42 pm
Posted on 4/6/14 at 8:43 pm to Aurora Borealis
I've gone through periods of these feelings my whole life. The best thing I can do immerse myself into something. I ride bicyles. It's the best of both worlds, it gets you fit(confidence) and you get to ride alone and work things out while you're exercising. The exercising helps keep my head clear too.
ETA You also meet people that are much like yourself.
ETA You also meet people that are much like yourself.
This post was edited on 4/6/14 at 8:44 pm
Posted on 4/6/14 at 8:43 pm to Aurora Borealis
I have a tendency to isolate myself from others, friends and family included. It's not something I'm proud of, but it happens, nonetheless.
I've also learned that it's smarter to have a few great friends, than a lot of shitty friends.
I've also learned that it's smarter to have a few great friends, than a lot of shitty friends.
Posted on 4/6/14 at 8:44 pm to Aurora Borealis
That's the one. Hope it can help with some answers. There are some others I can recommend if you like it.
Full disclosure: I'm not a psychiatrist, but I have always been fascinated by psychology. That's just something I felt might hit close to home for you and can hopefully help you out.
Full disclosure: I'm not a psychiatrist, but I have always been fascinated by psychology. That's just something I felt might hit close to home for you and can hopefully help you out.
Posted on 4/6/14 at 8:47 pm to Robert Goulet
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shite man, appreciate your solitude. Being around people all the time blows.
I do appreciate my solitude; that's not the issue.
Being around people all the time does blow.
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I've always valued my alone time.
I can value mine too; I just don't spend it wisely or happily.
quote:
Make yourself happy and use other relationships to supplement your happiness, not to make your happiness.
This is where I've been stuck the past several years. I don't know how to become happy without others. Others seem happy and are enjoying lives I could only dream of. Even if it's fake or unconvincing, it's still better than what I've got.
quote:
Get some structure in your life and start some sort of exercise routine, even if it's power walking or some shite. If you're not a good looking guy, learn to munch box. Hell, learn that anyway, it will serve you well in a few years
I'll look into munch boxing. More sleep, exercise, and time spent offline would probably help me tremendously; that'd be a major shakeup in my lifestyle. I'd have to try some things and live.
quote:
I don't get the whole "feeling better talking to internet people vs real people" thing.
I wouldn't have this discussion with people I talk to in real life; the internet is a means of escape and can provide comfort. Reality sucks.
Internet interactions are different from real interactions. I don't develop attachments to people on the internet, and people online can't really hurt me. Yeah, one can be insulted online, but they should be able to get over it quickly. No one should let anonymous strangers that know little to nothing about them rustle their jimmies for more than a short period.
Posted on 4/6/14 at 8:50 pm to PrivatePublic
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If you want to create some relationships, I can tell you from experience that you will never do it by trying to create them just for the sake of having a relationship with somebody.
You need to get out, develop some hobbies and interests, and from that relationships will follow.
Yes, your advice is sound.
I've developed an interest in a video game that I play with others twice a week. They seem to like me, but we're pretty much just gaming buddies/acquaintances. I also meet with people to play board games once a week, but it's the same deal.
Posted on 4/6/14 at 8:56 pm to asphinctersayswhat
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I've gone through periods of these feelings my whole life. The best thing I can do immerse myself into something. I ride bicyles. It's the best of both worlds, it gets you fit(confidence) and you get to ride alone and work things out while you're exercising. The exercising helps keep my head clear too.
I would do that right now if my bicycle was great.
quote:
ETA You also meet people that are much like yourself.
Finding people that strongly share one interest with yourself can be tough. No one I know is close being like me, and that's fine. I can get along with many types of people.
TTsTowel
quote:
I have a tendency to isolate myself from others, friends and family included. It's not something I'm proud of, but it happens, nonetheless.
I've also learned that it's smarter to have a few great friends, than a lot of shitty friends.
I have found 1 "great" friend at college, and that's debatable. That's all I'll say regarding that person. You're correct though.
We share the same tendency of isolation.
InVolNerable
quote:
That's the one. Hope it can help with some answers. There are some others I can recommend if you like it.
Full disclosure: I'm not a psychiatrist, but I have always been fascinated by psychology. That's just something I felt might hit close to home for you and can hopefully help you out.
Thanks again. Pretty soon I'll have to leave.
As usual, I have wasted another weekend, and I've got a lot to do, but I'll be fine. I work well under pressure and set my expectations low on major graded assignments and assessments; most of the time they turn out far better than I could have hoped.
Posted on 4/6/14 at 9:54 pm to Bama Bird
What's wrong with being a Dick?
Posted on 4/6/14 at 10:03 pm to Aurora Borealis
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I've also learned that it's smarter to have a few great friends, than a lot of shitty friends.
This is the most important statement that's been made so far. Make sure that one of those friends is yourself.
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As usual, I have wasted another weekend, and I've got a lot to do, but I'll be fine. I work well under pressure and set my expectations low on major graded assignments and assessments; most of the time they turn out far better than I could have hoped.
No, you haven't wasted your week-end. You've learned and you've taught. That's what we do in relationships.
I swear, dude, you seem to really have it all together. Are you kin to Bill Gates? You've got a lot going for you.
Posted on 4/6/14 at 10:13 pm to Aurora Borealis
People who are introverts tend to have a lot of inner dialogue, and you posting this proves that you do.
Not everybody is a bullshitter assclown all the time (thank God). Life isn't a reality show. I wish I had understood my tendency towards introversion earlier on in life and just accepted it. It would have saved me a lot of stress.
I have friends who are total extroverts. I have learned to keep boundaries and say "No" when I really don't feel like hanging out. I always, always say "thanks for thinking of me" when I turn down an invitation, because I want the invitations to keep coming. I just want to pick which ones I enjoin.
Not everybody is a bullshitter assclown all the time (thank God). Life isn't a reality show. I wish I had understood my tendency towards introversion earlier on in life and just accepted it. It would have saved me a lot of stress.
I have friends who are total extroverts. I have learned to keep boundaries and say "No" when I really don't feel like hanging out. I always, always say "thanks for thinking of me" when I turn down an invitation, because I want the invitations to keep coming. I just want to pick which ones I enjoin.
This post was edited on 4/6/14 at 10:16 pm
Posted on 4/6/14 at 10:17 pm to Aurora Borealis
quote:
I'm 20 and have never dated or been involved in a serious relationship. I'm not seeking or interested in dating right now.
I was about the same until 21 -- it's not all that unnatural. I was just completely uninterested in girls at my high school (I dropped out eventually).
It took a high school (ironic) Asian girl to deter me, and it worked well. It'll hit you, too, eventually.
Posted on 4/6/14 at 10:48 pm to Kentucker
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Make sure that one of those friends is yourself.
I don't believe that I'm friends with myself.
I've heard that you must like or your love yourself before you can like or love others.
It's tough to give what you do not have?
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No, you haven't wasted your week-end. You've learned and you've taught. That's what we do in relationships.
Yeah, I really need to go to bed earlier on Sunday nights though. If I complete my assignments and studying on Friday, then I can enjoy Saturday and Sunday and refresh my memory Monday. It doesn't go that way though. I wind up tired throughout the week due to poor decisions.
quote:
You've got a lot going for you.
Yes, I do. To the extent you think? I'm not sure.
Thanks for the encouragement. wmr:
quote:
People who are introverts tend to have a lot of inner dialogue, and you posting this proves that you do.
Not everybody is a bullshitter assclown all the time (thank God). Life isn't a reality show. I wish I had understood my tendency towards introversion earlier on in life and just accepted it. It would have saved me a lot of stress.
I have friends who are total extroverts. I have learned to keep boundaries and say "No" when I really don't feel like hanging out. I always, always say "thanks for thinking of me" when I turn down an invitation, because I want the invitations to keep coming. I just want to pick which ones I enjoin.
Yes, I have a good eye and occasionally overcomplicate stuff. Some sarcasm and jokes fly over my head because I overanalyze them.
Sadly, I get few invitations to do things. And what's really bugged me for at least the past 4 years is that despite having Facebook accounts, a twitter, a cell phone, and an email address, people rarely would communicate with me when we weren't face to face. I feel like I've always had to go after people, and no one's ever chasing me. I guess I haven't done enough for people to start wanting to do things with me, yet these "friends" make time for their other "friends", or so it seems.
StrawsDrawnAtRandom
I found multiple girls at my high school attractive, but none of them were into me; I just remained acquainted with them. The way I see it, I've been single for 20 years. I can go another 20 years without a significant other. I haven't had an ideal bud ever, so I can go another 20 years without having such a close friend.
This post was edited on 4/6/14 at 10:49 pm
Posted on 4/6/14 at 10:55 pm to Aurora Borealis
quote:
I found multiple girls at my high school attractive, but none of them were into me; I just remained acquainted with them. The way I see it, I've been single for 20 years. I can go another 20 years without a significant other. I haven't had an ideal bud ever, so I can go another 20 years without having such a close friend.
I'm 26 now and most of my best friends came into my life around 24 or so. It's not difficult to be single, and having experienced (fortunately) love it's certainly turned my life around -- although relationships both romantic and friendly can be very difficult.
Remember, there's always video games...
Posted on 4/6/14 at 11:02 pm to StrawsDrawnAtRandom
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although relationships both romantic and friendly can be very difficult.
Ain't that the truth?
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Remember, there's always video games...
I haven't had a passion for solo-gaming since middle school. I've owned Pokémon Y for 2 months and A Link Between Worlds for a little over 4 and haven't opened either. Gaming can be fun, but fun does not equal happiness.
Posted on 4/6/14 at 11:04 pm to Aurora Borealis
Join the gym. Gyms are full of introverts and people with social anxiety who are compensating.
I know from personal experience.
I know from personal experience.
Posted on 4/6/14 at 11:17 pm to wmr
quote:
Join the gym. Gyms are full of introverts and people with social anxiety who are compensating.
I know from personal experience.
I'm a member of my university's fitness center, and I've only gone there once for personal exercise this entire school year. I don't like going out long alone unless it's necessary (classes, meals, shopping).
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