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Posted on 5/17/16 at 8:27 pm to Roger Klarvin
You'd be fine with your wife going out multiple times and kissing a random dude and committing the same mistake over and over? I don't think you're thinking about this.
The first time it's a mistake. I can understand that. Everybody makes them. But when you do it over and over it becomes less of "just a mistake"
The first time it's a mistake. I can understand that. Everybody makes them. But when you do it over and over it becomes less of "just a mistake"
Posted on 5/17/16 at 8:31 pm to Weagle25
Multiple times? No, but that makes it unlikely it's accidental.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 9:03 pm to Roger Klarvin
quote:
but a drunken kiss with some random person wouldn't be IMO.
will be getting Roger's wife drunk in t minus one month.
to answer the question. anything i wouldn't like my wife to do to another man, i consider cheating on my end.
i travel for a living and recently got straight up propositioned in a bar. lady sat next to me and we talked for a bit. nothing happened and it was mostly innocent, but it digressed to something not so innocent. first time in 4 years of this job that it' happened, but i usually drink and read in the hotel instead of hanging out in a bar. lesson learned.
afterwards, i thought "if my wife had had the same conversation for that long with a guy alone in a bar, i'd be furious."
not saying i cheated, but it was pretty damn close.
This post was edited on 5/18/16 at 7:25 am
Posted on 5/17/16 at 9:33 pm to WestCoastAg
As others have said, it depends on the couple and circumstance.
Personally, I'd consider anything physical cheating. I also believe there is such a thing as emotional cheating. You may not be physically intimate with a person but if you're spending time with them and investing emotionally in that "relationship" versus the relationship with your significant other than that's a big problem IMO.
Personally, I'd consider anything physical cheating. I also believe there is such a thing as emotional cheating. You may not be physically intimate with a person but if you're spending time with them and investing emotionally in that "relationship" versus the relationship with your significant other than that's a big problem IMO.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 9:59 pm to WestCoastAg
We have this question like every month.
Conservative:
Lookin', talkin', fantasizin'.
Liberal:
Intercourse.
My take: Somewhere in between.
Conservative:
Lookin', talkin', fantasizin'.
Liberal:
Intercourse.
My take: Somewhere in between.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 4:10 am to WestCoastAg
A foul is not a foul, if the referee doesn't blow the whistle
Posted on 5/18/16 at 6:47 am to Funky Tide 8
Cheating is willfully doing something you know your SO would not like; something you would prefer to keep from them.
If you think its best you not tell them, it's cheating.
If you think its best you not tell them, it's cheating.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 7:37 am to BluegrassBelle
quote:
I also believe there is such a thing as emotional cheating. You may not be physically intimate with a person but if you're spending time with them and investing emotionally in that "relationship" versus the relationship with your significant other than that's a big problem
Depends on the level of emotional connection. Wife and I both work and obviously spend a lot of time at work. I have a pretty close relationship with a female co-worker. There's no physical attraction for me, but I definitely have an emotional connection to her. Wife knows her and knows about our friendship and it doesn't bother her. Wife has had a few guy friends at work she was close to, even calling one her "work husband." I knew him and it didn't bother me. We both have trust in each other we wouldn't let it progress to anything physical.
You just gotta be open and honest. I've even told my wife I wasn't comfortable hanging out with a couple we know because I found the girl very attractive. She was pretty mad at first, but got over it and respected me more for telling her.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 7:38 am to WestCoastAg
Anything that gives a part of you that rightfully belongs to your spouse to another.
Emotions, touch, time, if it's a part of you that you know you should be giving/sharing with your spouse.
Emotions, touch, time, if it's a part of you that you know you should be giving/sharing with your spouse.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 7:45 am to The Spleen
quote:
Depends on the level of emotional connection. Wife and I both work and obviously spend a lot of time at work. I have a pretty close relationship with a female co-worker. There's no physical attraction for me, but I definitely have an emotional connection to her. Wife knows her and knows about our friendship and it doesn't bother her. Wife has had a few guy friends at work she was close to, even calling one her "work husband." I knew him and it didn't bother me. We both have trust in each other we wouldn't let it progress to anything physical. You just gotta be open and honest. I've even told my wife I wasn't comfortable hanging out with a couple we know because I found the girl very attractive. She was pretty mad at first, but got over it and respected me more for telling her.
Are you replacing an emotional connection with your SO with that emotional connection with your coworker/friend? If not then usually there's not an issue. If you are, that's where it crosses the line IMO. When you want to spend more time with the friend/coworker vs. the SO and are investing in that relationship instead of the relationship with your SO is where it becomes emotional cheating.
I never said it wasn't possible to be friends with someone of the opposite sex/the sex you're attracted to. I think most mature adults are capable of being friends with coworkers/acquaintances that are of the sex they're attracted to. But you also have to be both be able to recognize where the line gets crossed. Some people can be totally oblivious to someone of the opposite sex trying to be more than just a friend and that can cause issues.
This post was edited on 5/18/16 at 7:47 am
Posted on 5/18/16 at 8:07 am to BluegrassBelle
quote:
where it becomes emotional cheating.
And this leads to way more physical affairs than simple attraction.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 9:08 am to WestCoastAg
quote:
It's my opinion that a situation isnt cheating unless an overtly sexual act takes place
Enjoy being single.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 9:24 am to The Spleen
quote:
Depends on the level of emotional connection. Wife and I both work and obviously spend a lot of time at work. I have a pretty close relationship with a female co-worker. There's no physical attraction for me, but I definitely have an emotional connection to her. Wife knows her and knows about our friendship and it doesn't bother her. Wife has had a few guy friends at work she was close to, even calling one her "work husband." I knew him and it didn't bother me. We both have trust in each other we wouldn't let it progress to anything physical.
You just gotta be open and honest. I've even told my wife I wasn't comfortable hanging out with a couple we know because I found the girl very attractive. She was pretty mad at first, but got over it and respected me more for telling her.
Best post itt
Trust is key--I've been in a relationship with my wife on some level for 8 years. In each and every one of those years (including this one), we've endured a long period of physical separation (usually military-related).
If we didn't trust each other, we wouldn't have made it. She dealt with depression issues a lot and needed to be around people she could lean on. If I wasn't secure enough in my trust in her, I couldn't have allowed her to seek camaraderie with friends and coworkers of the opposite sex while I wasn't there. And vice versa.
Trust and unfettered communication go a LONG way toward building a solid relationship--one that isn't plagued by suspicions of cheating.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 9:36 am to Weagle25
Emotional Cheating is far worse than being flirty.
They always lead to long term damage and the physical comes after the emotional. People always thing when the SO goes out and gets drunk and does something stupid that it's the absolute worst thing that could happen but it's her coworkers and friends that she confides in that are the real danger. That's where cheating happens. It's always the familiar places that bring it on. That being said, I've been married to the same gal for 13 years and have never found anything or noticed anything that was off. Marry a girl you can trust.
They always lead to long term damage and the physical comes after the emotional. People always thing when the SO goes out and gets drunk and does something stupid that it's the absolute worst thing that could happen but it's her coworkers and friends that she confides in that are the real danger. That's where cheating happens. It's always the familiar places that bring it on. That being said, I've been married to the same gal for 13 years and have never found anything or noticed anything that was off. Marry a girl you can trust.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 9:52 am to Tiguar
quote:
heating is willfully doing something you know your SO would not like; something you would prefer to keep from them.
If you think its best you not tell them, it's cheating.
Same answer I was going to give.
You can debate whether your SO's position is crazy or not and decide if you want to live under those terms.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 9:56 am to Dave Worth
I secretly eat fast food between meals once every few weeks. My wife would be pissed if she found out.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 9:59 am to WestCoastAg
Seems to be whatever the partner thinks is cheating.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 10:01 am to WestCoastAg
If you wouldn't do it in front of your SO....
I'm naturally a little "flirty" when I talk to women. Nothing sexual, I just use the typical "Southern Charm", always have. It doesn't bother my wife.
Now I wouldn't go past talking with any woman in front of my wife (except a hug between friends). So more than talking, to me, can be seen as cheating. If I wouldn't want my wife seeing me doing it, it's cheating.
But my wife and I have both been cheated on before in past relationships, so it skews our view on the subject a little.
I'm naturally a little "flirty" when I talk to women. Nothing sexual, I just use the typical "Southern Charm", always have. It doesn't bother my wife.
Now I wouldn't go past talking with any woman in front of my wife (except a hug between friends). So more than talking, to me, can be seen as cheating. If I wouldn't want my wife seeing me doing it, it's cheating.
But my wife and I have both been cheated on before in past relationships, so it skews our view on the subject a little.
Posted on 5/18/16 at 10:19 am to Tiguar
quote:
Cheating is willfully doing something you know your SO would not like; something you would prefer to keep from them.
If you think its best you not tell them, it's cheating.
Exactly this right here.......if you have to ask, you're cheating.
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