This is barely the South.

Everything here looks to the West and Southwest. Going east just feels unnatural. The state might as well end on the west side of downtown Little Rock.

I've been to Dallas about 20 times in the past 5 years. In that same time, I've been to Little Rock twice.

I feel more kinship with Colorado Springs than I do anything on the Gulf coast. I'm a 6 hour drive from Omaha, and 10 hours from New Orleans or Mobile. It's a shorter drive to Minneapolis than it is to Atlanta.

We're just white. My ancestors ranched cattle and killed Indians, and probably fricked a few of them, too. We're cowboys and chicken farmers and German barn-builders and dairy farmers. I eat at Village Inn and Braums and none of you southerners even know WTF those things are.

When restaurants in Bentonville get accolades, Beard groups them in the South. Food & Wine Magazine puts us in the Midwest.

This is the South, but barely....just barely. We're hanging by a thread. I took a valium earlier to offset some late strong coffee. And this is all true.