re: Longest dump you've ever taken?

I returned to work from lunch to find grown arse men all huddled in a single stall bathroom doorway giggling like school girls.
Someone had left a turd in the toilet that had to be a world record in both girth and length. I'm talking dura-flame log size. That sucker was wedged at the bottom while the other end was above the rim. You couldn't close the lid without the lid making contact with it. The person had to have finished it off by standing up. We were trying to figure out who had given birth to the beast when we overhear another guy on his phone asking if anyone came to the emergency room needing their a-hole sutured.

Got shitfaced in Savannah one year with a couple friends and was very hungover the next morning which was also the day we had to leave. Took an hour half until they basically kicked me out of the room's bathroom, the maid probably died cleaning that place out. I had to waddle to the lobby bathroom holding the rest in and that took another 30 minutes. Apparently my friends told some guy about my problem and while he was taking he a shite he kept trying to cheer me on

Needless to say I always drink a shite ton of water when I'm out drinking now

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Also, have you ever walked into a public bathroom and just heard someone tearing it up? Like the farting shite noises?

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Hell yeah. Denver airport. I was doing some pretty serious business myself, but the guy two doors down was absolutely destroying Terminal C. I was laughing/crying so hard that it was making me make some pretty rough sounds.

I am a shy shitter. I am always afraid of people hearing me.

But there was this one time I was on my way home from Starkville. I was about an hour away and had to rock a piss so fricking bad. So I stopped in a gas station and went into the bathroom to use the latrine. Well, you know how sometimes when you pee you feel like you have to shite too. Well so I stopped pissing and then I go and see the only stall and it is disgusting and I mean absolutely gross. Brown is everywhere, water and piss are on the floor, it is just gross. I sit down and I explode and I mean explode. Like the low rumbling fart tuba all the way up to the squeal of the shite flute. Someone walks in. "frick." But I can't stop you know and the guy asks me if I am okay. That was weird. I was probably doing that for 15 minutes. I think I had some bad Taco Bell breakfast thing and that's why.

That is the story of the longest shite I have taken

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I returned to work from lunch to find grown arse men all huddled in a single stall bathroom doorway giggling like school girls.
Someone had left a turd in the toilet that had to be a world record in both girth and length. I'm talking dura-flame log size. That sucker was wedged at the bottom while the other end was above the rim. You couldn't close the lid without the lid making contact with it. The person had to have finished it off by standing up. We were trying to figure out who had given birth to the beast when we overhear another guy on his phone asking if anyone came to the emergency room needing their a-hole sutured.

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Sounds like a grizzly bear took a dump in your toilet.

Damn, the power of suggestion!

(no more than just finished reading and 15 minutes of toilet time gone bye)