re: I'm an a-hole (advice needed)

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Most times I do not think before I speak. The smartass just flows from my mouth like a flood.

And I'd love to just " Grow up", but that shite is hard to just do. At least it is for me.

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But, seriously, one of the points of cognitive development in humans is that we can learn -- or unlearn -- behavior. Just saying it's hard to grow up or think before you speak is like saying you're incapable of controlling your impulses. If that's the case, you're going to be a danger to yourself and others eventually.

Next time you feel a need to get snarky, keep your damned mouth shut. It's a matter of self-control, not some biological imperative. Once you manage to start doing it a few times, it becomes much easier. Or look at it this way -- it takes an incredible ego to think acting your first impulse is more important than your wife. Get some humility and remind yourself what's at stake.

Every time you do something mean to her, make it up to her by letting her wear a strap on

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but I see that you guys didnt really plan the marriage.

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The marriage was planned, her getting pregnant right then was not.

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It's a defense mechanism. I do the same shite. You just have to consciously stay on top of it

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I think you're right.

It is just so hard when you've been one your whole life.