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re: 3rd time in a row we've invited friends over for dinner only to have them cancel
Posted on 12/6/15 at 11:09 am to nes2010
Posted on 12/6/15 at 11:09 am to nes2010
If the theme becomes reoccurring, yes, I will let you know about it. Mom, dad, brother (s), sister, pap, best friend, colleague. It doesn't really matter.
Don't waste my time. If you tell somebody that you're going to do something, do it. Displaying that you don't value somebody's time is an issue with me. I will always value your time or I wouldn't have made the arrangement.
If you make a commitment to someone or something, than honor it. Or give them enough heads up so that they can make other arrangements. It's pretty simple.
Don't waste my time. If you tell somebody that you're going to do something, do it. Displaying that you don't value somebody's time is an issue with me. I will always value your time or I wouldn't have made the arrangement.
If you make a commitment to someone or something, than honor it. Or give them enough heads up so that they can make other arrangements. It's pretty simple.
This post was edited on 12/6/15 at 11:19 am
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Posted on 12/6/15 at 11:18 am to cokebottleag
I'm a flake, but I just don't commit to stuff in the first place.
Posted on 12/6/15 at 11:30 am to cokebottleag
Why are you hanging with millennials if you're not one? This may have more to do with it than anything. Be with your peeps, homie.
Posted on 12/6/15 at 11:52 am to cokebottleag
Three times? Fool me once...
Every generation has flakes, lots of them. It's a people thing.
You have to decide how important those people are to you and go from there. Doesn't seem like you're very important to them.
Every generation has flakes, lots of them. It's a people thing.
You have to decide how important those people are to you and go from there. Doesn't seem like you're very important to them.
Posted on 12/6/15 at 11:57 am to TheDude321
quote:
Texting should be banned. It's only used by people who are too cowardly to call you or speak to you in person. It's the perfect tool for pansies to drop out of an event at the last second with.
Texting doesn't have anything to do with having the class to not dip on your friends multiple times in a row. And FWIW, people were dipping out before texting too.
It's as simple as some people are shitty people. If you don't want to do anything, then don't make plans to do so. It's as simple as that.
Posted on 12/6/15 at 1:12 pm to cokebottleag
big difference between friends and acquaintances. my friends would only do that in case of an emergency.
Posted on 12/6/15 at 1:13 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
Texting doesn't have anything to do with having the class to not dip on your friends multiple times in a row. And FWIW, people were dipping out before texting too.
It's as simple as some people are shitty people. If you don't want to do anything, then don't make plans to do so. It's as simple as that.
This.
Posted on 12/6/15 at 1:50 pm to kingbob
quote:
In the 80's, when you told a group of friends you would meet them at the mall at 6:00, if you weren't there, they had no means of knowing why. Now, you can send a text at 5:59 explaining that you won't be there.
Probably this
The other option is the decline of manners in the South since the 1980's. Before then you made plans and kept them. The under 30 crowd is constantly better dealing their options so if something better comes along at the last second they flake.
Posted on 12/6/15 at 2:21 pm to Stacked
Where did I say we were not millennials?
And it's 3 different couples. Once someone flakes on us at the last minute, we don't invite them again until they invite us somewhere.
And it's 3 different couples. Once someone flakes on us at the last minute, we don't invite them again until they invite us somewhere.
Posted on 12/6/15 at 2:23 pm to cokebottleag
quote:
Is it us? Just the millennial generation? Has anyone else experienced this?
Here's the thing. Yes, there are some uncouth people in the world. But you always have to look at the common denominator, which in this case would be you. Do you make it "easy" for these people to flake out on you? Are you so overbearing that they try to be nice at first, but as the time gets near, decide that you just aren't worth the hassle?
I mean, I don't know you from Adam, I just know there are always two sides to a story and here we only have yours.
Posted on 12/6/15 at 2:26 pm to cokebottleag
quote:
Where did I say we were not millennials?
Well how old are you? That will clear it up pretty quick.
Posted on 12/6/15 at 2:34 pm to cokebottleag
Not being a dick. Just sounds weird that you wonder if this is a millennial issue if you indeed are one yourself.
Posted on 12/6/15 at 10:50 pm to Stacked
I have one friend who did this all through HS and college. The flakiest person I have ever known and we are Gen X... Both 46 now. Now he has been married to a woman for 14 years who is even more self absorbed than him and is even flakier.
Over the years they would ask us to do dual vacations with them and we always honored our commitments. The last few years we have asked them to do things and they would be all gung ho until a day before when they would give some lame excuse. The last straw was last summer when I asked them 2 months in advance if they wanted to go in on a table with us at Chastain Park Ampitheatre for a concert and she was all about it. "Yes yes yes that will be soooo much fun!" I said okay and be sure to put it on the calendar because I am going to get the table and its $400 for us all. One week before I call her to get our plan together. She said she didn't realize it was that week. "Oh nooooo! We can't make it. I thought it was the next week. Jeff has a company hunting trip next weekend. I feel so bad" I said "Sucks he can't be there but I guess you can just get a GF to take his place." She says "I can't go either because I have to go to my sisters baby shower. I feel so Baaaad!"
I told her right then and there to cut the BS. I didn't believe a word she said and I was livid. She got very defensive and had Jeff call me. I told him he was full of shite too and to frick off because I knew they had just found something better to do that night.
And yes, they lied as they were in Seaside with two other families that week. Have not returned a call of theirs since.
Some people are just flaky and will commit to things knowing Damn well they will bail as soon as a more intriguing option becomes available.
Over the years they would ask us to do dual vacations with them and we always honored our commitments. The last few years we have asked them to do things and they would be all gung ho until a day before when they would give some lame excuse. The last straw was last summer when I asked them 2 months in advance if they wanted to go in on a table with us at Chastain Park Ampitheatre for a concert and she was all about it. "Yes yes yes that will be soooo much fun!" I said okay and be sure to put it on the calendar because I am going to get the table and its $400 for us all. One week before I call her to get our plan together. She said she didn't realize it was that week. "Oh nooooo! We can't make it. I thought it was the next week. Jeff has a company hunting trip next weekend. I feel so bad" I said "Sucks he can't be there but I guess you can just get a GF to take his place." She says "I can't go either because I have to go to my sisters baby shower. I feel so Baaaad!"
I told her right then and there to cut the BS. I didn't believe a word she said and I was livid. She got very defensive and had Jeff call me. I told him he was full of shite too and to frick off because I knew they had just found something better to do that night.
And yes, they lied as they were in Seaside with two other families that week. Have not returned a call of theirs since.
Some people are just flaky and will commit to things knowing Damn well they will bail as soon as a more intriguing option becomes available.
Posted on 12/7/15 at 12:40 am to cokebottleag
I know a girl who I swear gets off from bailing on people. She literally does it to everyone, it is not person specific. Her guy friends and girl friends and guys she's dating, she will go out of her way to initiate making plans with someone only to bail an hour or two before. I'll never understand people like her or what drives their behavior
Posted on 12/7/15 at 3:52 am to Wishnitwas1998
quote:
I'll never understand people like her or what drives their behavior
Control, in one word.
We are in our 50's. We have a couple that have bailed on us at the last minute twice. They say they'll repay us for the tickets and that will make things "alright", in their little minds. Bull, not with me. Never again. Rude and self centered.
He is the kind that replies to a message anytime he wants. Days or weeks later. That is simply control.
Nobody needs "friends" like this.
This post was edited on 12/7/15 at 3:58 am
Posted on 12/7/15 at 6:54 am to cokebottleag
We're in our 40's and its never happened to us with friends our age, except one instance where they had a legit excuse.
Our niece is 21 and is notorious for flaking on plans at the last minute. Leads me to believe it's a generational thing, but don't really have enough evidence to say with certainty.
Our niece is 21 and is notorious for flaking on plans at the last minute. Leads me to believe it's a generational thing, but don't really have enough evidence to say with certainty.
Posted on 12/7/15 at 6:59 am to cokebottleag
quote:
And it's 3 different couples. Once someone flakes on us at the last minute, we don't invite them again until they invite us somewhere.
They all could have legit reasons and it could be just bad luck. Are they young couples with young kids?
Posted on 12/7/15 at 7:56 am to Duke
quote:
I'm a flake, but I just don't commit to stuff in the first place.
I should add that I was probably considered the flake in my group of friends in my 20's. I usually kept commitments, but because I had sometimes crippling social anxiety I rarely committed to stuff.
My wife is a social butterfly and has forced me to overcome a lot of my social anxiety, though it is still there.
Posted on 12/7/15 at 9:52 am to cokebottleag
I would be stoked that I would get to chillax instead of hosting.
Posted on 12/7/15 at 10:04 am to Stacked
quote:
Not being a dick. Just sounds weird that you wonder if this is a millennial issue if you indeed are one yourself.
Yeah we are millenials. Both of us 29.
To the other question: No, the people who have flaked on us have not had kids. We have a 1 year old, and once he was born, if we thought it wasn't possible to bring him somewhere or didn't have a sitter locked in, we just said we could not up front.
We bust our asses to make the Get-togethers we agree too, because we know how much it sucks to get flaked out on.
We have noticed that our foreign friends have never once flaked on us, and neither have the friends we have who are 40+.
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